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Vex
22-07-06, 05:56
Hi everyone. I found this website through google.com. I was doing a search for aggrophobia because of something that happened tonight.

Well... I guess I should start off with a bit of my story, eh?

I'm Vex. I'm 21. I live in the USA. I've been in counseling before but that was mainly for being troubled by family things. My mom is an alcoholic. My parents have faught for as long as I can remember. They were seperated when I was in about 1st grade or so... but I wasn't really aware of what was going on. As far as I knew, my dad was just off in another state working to support us... which he was. When I was living with my mom, I was in about 1st or 2nd grade, I walked in on her having sex with this guy [John]. He, too, was an alcoholic and he was a heavy drug user. I still remember seeing them. It still bothers me. I think that's where my behavior towards my mom really changed. If I remember correctly, that incident resulted in my dad coming and picking my sister and I up. She was just a baby then. Luckily, this John character was out of my life until around my birthday when I was in 5th grade. We were living two-three states away from where he lived but he came to the state we were living in to see my mom, I guess. Anyways... on my birthday, at my birthday party at the bowling alley, with my friends there... my mom and him showed up drunk. It was so embrassing.

Up until a few years ago, I had treated her like **** because I thought she deserved it. She still drinks and has a problem with her thyroid, but she lives in another state so I don't really have to deal with her being drunk. My parents finally got divorced when I was in 5th grade.

My dad's pretty much a loner. I live with him now. I feel pretty safe living with him especially because he doesn't have a social life. I know I can always come home and no one else will be here. He goes to work and then watches TV or does stuff on his computer.

I remember in 6th grade or maybe it was 7th... I had to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours because my heart was doing weird things and I'd freak out. I remember specifically, in PE... when we had to run around together in this park across the school. I was feeling so insecure about my abilities and really didn't like having to perform in front of other people, especially my peers [friends and foes]. I stopped running and started crying... I tried to explain to my PE teacher that my heart was doing funny things and I didn't want to run. And after that, I guess I went to the doctor or hospital or something [i don't really remember...] and they didn't see anything wrong with me but put me on the heart monitor to make sure. I don't remember what they said "it" was or if they said anything at all. I'm assuming they probably just said it was anxiety. I don't know.

My family doesn't have much money nor do we have health insurance. I really want to see a psychiatrist and counselor to fix me. I've tried fixing myself but it just scares me. I would really like to have someone there that knows what they're doing and can help me. Sometimes I feel like thinking like that might be part of my problem... but I don't know if that's because others have told me that or if that's just me talking or what...

I've been with the same guy for almost 4 years now. We were engaged after a year... then recently, less than six months ago... I was having a "moment" and suggested we no longer be engaged... and he agreed... and so now we're just boyfriend and girlfriend... and that still upsets me because I know that part of the reason I said that was because I was upset and doubting whether or not he really wanted to be with me, etc. We have problems... the regular ones are pretty much my fault do to my behavioral and mental 'issues'. I haven't been diagnosed with anything so I've kinda just self-diagnosed... heh It was basically me finding out what was going on with me and what it was called, if there was a name for it...

In my honest, open moments... I would describe myself as paranoid, insecure, anxious, dellusional and have some sor

giddy
22-07-06, 07:38
Hi Vex
Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, but you'll find lots of support and advice here.
Love Helen

trac67
22-07-06, 10:12
Hi Vex,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends.

Take care

Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'

Wannabeloved85
22-07-06, 10:49
oh vex, You poor thing.
You really are having a rough time. I can relate to alot you have wrote. Most people here with anxiety disorders have had a pretty rough background, something to trigger off the viscious anxiety circle.
Im around your age, im 21 in september. Although i have no boyfriend, i did push one away. He was a great guy, but i just started lying and having angry outburst moments just to test if he really wanted to be with me. Anxiety can cause alot of problems in all areas, not just symptoms.
The best thing to do vex, is to get a diagnose. Any other health issues need to be ruled out. Being diagnosed isnt scary, i put it off for 3 years, and refused to get help, now i have the help and i wish i would of done it earlier. There is also medication available, if you chose to take it. I personally dont take it as i dont feel its necassery, but i dont have as severe anxiety symptoms as some of the members here. Weather you take the medication or not, if its offered by a dr, is entirely up to you. i think you may benifit from a hobby aswell. Some past time. I dont know if you work or not, but if your able to get out the house and get a little job in a little, not so crowded place, may be helpful aswell. At the minute it sounds like you are spending ALL your time dwelling on this, just like i do, and its making your anxiety more and more persistent. The worse thing you can do, even though if feels so right, is to isolate yourself and hide away form the world. Ive done this for 4 years and it makes life SOOO hard. If you are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, try a claire weekes essential help for your nerves book. It will explain all the symptoms and behaviours of our bodies during anxiety.
If you need to talk or just vent, feel free to message me
Take care, and try getting a diagnosis
Becci x x x

flutterby
22-07-06, 11:00
Hi Vex

Welcome to the forum, and i hope you find this site helpful.
Feel free to PM me if you want to chat...

Flutterby xx

nomorepanic
22-07-06, 15:20
Vex

Welcome aboard.

A lot of what you mention could be to do with self-esteem and not feeling you are worth anything.

Some of it could be a mix of anxiety and depresssion too.

It would really help you if you were able to sit down with a professional - like a psychiatrist - and explain all this to him as well. I know money is an issue here however.

I hope you get some great support on here and meet some lovely kind people.

Nicola

chucklehound
22-07-06, 15:49
Welcome to NMP

Take care

Chuckle

xxxx

Daisybun
22-07-06, 16:27
Hi Vex and welcome, sorry you are having a bd time at te moment, there's lots of help and support here

Take care
Daisybun

'This too will pass'

alexis
22-07-06, 16:47
Hi Vex, dont apologise for a long post, its good to write things down, i bet you felt better for doing so?
Welcome to NMP, Im sure you will meet lots of people in similar situations, the advantage of course is, here in UK we get treatment paid for, although some have long waits.
I dont think you freak out, I think you suffer a panic/anxiety attack which is what many of us on here do, anyway good luck Vex and hope you find lots of help and advice on here,xxx

Vex
22-07-06, 19:51
Thanks everyone. I really do want to know for sure what's "wrong" with me. So, maybe someday I'll be able to. I get really paranoid about actually talking to a counselor/psychiatrist, too.

The funny thing is... I'm in school right now [full-time] to get my Bachelors in Psychology so I can become a clinical psychologist [counselor]. ha

I just got a job a few days ago, I start tomorrow.

I know I have self esteem issues... and if that's all this is... well, jesus! people need to really realize how important self esteem is. lol

Thanks again and hopefully I learn some things here. :D

We will ignore the cult of doom and gloom and embrace the cause of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

polly daydream
22-07-06, 20:06
Hi Vex and welcome to the forum.

Best wishes,

Polly

Eclipse
22-07-06, 20:10
Hi Vex,
Great post from you;
Great reply from becci
& Alexis took the words right out of my mouth with her first sentence!

You should be proud of yourself - to have come on a forum full of people you've only just 'met' and express yourself the way you did (so openly & honestly) takes a great deal of courage and if there was a 'clapping' emoticon, I'd have added it. As there isn't though, I'll have to just put..
:D[Yeah!]:D[Wow!]:D[Yes!]:D[Yeah!] and you can pretend it's a round of applause!!
Good on you Vex!!
And "Well done" for what you're working towards to achieve at school & "Good Luck" in your new job!

Magz
XX

tracyp584
22-07-06, 20:20
Hey Vex,

Welcome to the site,

Take care,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

Vex
22-07-06, 23:13
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
You should be proud of yourself - to have come on a forum full of people you've only just 'met' and express yourself the way you did (so openly & honestly) takes a great deal of courage and if there was a 'clapping' emoticon, I'd have added it.
Magz
XX

<div align="right">Originally posted by Magz - 22 July 2006 : 21:10:07</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I'm only quoting part for a reason. Luckily, I was in a good mood and wanting to find some help somewhere. However, it is tremendously [sp?] easier for me to type things out than to verbalize them. If I were verbally stating "my story" [a bit of my background and stating things that i think have had a big affect on me] -- I would have froze or tried to retreat. I was also in a typing mood... I actually got back on the computer to open up word and just type things out... but I was curious about why I chose to stay in the house instead of going out and putting myself in a situation that I knew would trigger me to 'freak out'.

I also find comfort in the fact that this forum has people that seem to experience similiar things as I do.

But thank you, I'm not trying to say it didn't take anything out of me to do it. I even considered deleting it after I had posted it. haha

And maybe someday, I'll be paranoid and on the computer and delete this post. I do that. ha

But thanks to everyone for the welcome and comments.

To make a general statement, I am not here for sympathy... Empathy is welcome but mostly I am here to learn more about myself, others that experience similiar things and to help myself - and maybe help others if I can. I bring to the table all that I have and hope to achieve something to make things better.:)

We will ignore the cult of doom and gloom and embrace the cause of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

Vex
22-07-06, 23:21
I just wanted to add that there seems to be a lot of activity on this site! Please excuse me if it takes me awhile to get used to the site and being able to reply to people's posts. I have so many things I want to ask, I want to say... I've read quite a few posts already but not sure what to say to them. hehe

Thanks!

"We will ignore the cult of doom and gloom and embrace the cause of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside-down it all may temporarily appear, we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us—wildly and innocently in love with us. The universe always gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it."

Sue K with 5
23-07-06, 03:41
Wow Vex

Thats a lot oh history for someone so young. i am not surprised you have some of these feelings and phobias.

I think additional support is needed for you and you could benefit from CBT as well

You must not allow this to control your life and I would suggest you spend some time reading the stories from this site which could help you to understand in more detail


Keep posting and join our chat room as well.



Sue with 5

scknight

wobily_lin
23-07-06, 06:13
Hi Vex,

A big welcome to the site. It's a great place to get support an make new friends too who totally understand where ur comin from.

You done so so great to post and I'm sorry you have had such a horrible time. So much pain an suffering there. So well done u, just take your time here there is no pressure an no rush okies.

So glad to have u onboard.

Take care,

Lin.
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