My anxiety so far... and beginning recovery? Does anyone get through this?

[Sparkles77]

So here's my list of ailments ;) When I get anxiety attacks they tend to last anywhere between a couple of hours to a couple of months, sometimes they're coupled with depression (I mean that sinking feeling of despair and it will never get better rather than the "switched-on" panicky feeling I get with anxiety), sometimes not. My brain latches on to a negative thought that's worrying for me and goes over it again and again and again. As these thoughts are negative, whatever topic my brain has picked upsets me a lot as I think it's true, I often feel guilty and like I'm a horrible person not worth knowing, I feel panicky and I can't distract myself from it at all, it's persistently there whatever I'm doing.

These thoughts are usually ridiculous and I KNOW they're not true but still I obsess over them. Sometimes though they are more rational, negative thoughts, and these are the ones I hate the most as they could be true. I usually don't sleep at all when this happens and cry a lot and have this feeling that I'm balancing on a knife edge?! (for want of a better expression) and that everything in my life is unstable, that I'm an awful person and there's no way past it. A lot has happened in the last 12 months and I got into a very busy work, gym, social lifestyle as I found that when I was busy and exhausted at the end of the day, I am OK. I also panic when I'm on my own sometimes, if I'm having a bad day and decide I don't want to be on my own, I panic really badly.

Usually I do have quite a good work/ social life and kind of get by with it. I recently broke my leg, however, and am at my Mum's recovering. This has given me a lot of time to dwell on things and I'm a long way from my work and friends at home. My recent worry is that all my friends hate me and I'm doing their head in. I'm scared I will lose them and end up alone. Ridiculous.

Sorry for the long rant. Anyway, what are peoples' coping/management strategies for anxiety? And what are the first steps to recovery/ management? I'm thinking I should go to the doctor on Monday and see what he says.

Thanks guys :)

[BobbyDog]

I think you are right, go to the doctors on Monday and see what he says!!!
Tell him about the depression, negative thoughts and anxiety.
You should not be keeping all this to yourself, find a family member or friend that you can talk to. Sure your friends don't hate you, it is just your negativity.:D

[rockydog]

Hi i would also say see the doctor particularly about the depression and see what he/she suggests. I read your post several times to try and take in what you said and it comes over to me as quite panicky and fast if that makes sense.
It doe sound like you have trouble when you have more time on your hands which makes me wonder (not a proffessional/expert in any way here) if you are constantly running and avoiding the anxiety. So you are only okay if you are really busy then when you are not it appears again, which sounds like you are fighting it rather than accepting you have it.
when you get the thoughts or fears could your write them down and then next to the fear write down when that fear started and what you were thinking /doing before it, next to that write what you would say to someone else if they told you that was how they were feeling. Then maybe write down what a more balanced/ reasonable thought might be. (sorry bit long) Or tell someone what you are thinking right away because said out loud it might sound less likely. I think we sometimes start with a thought or idea that everyone ha but they dimiss them more quickly. Then we are stuck with it so sharing it may take some of the weight out of it ?
Your friends are your friends for a reason and wouldnt hold on to a friend for no reason, think about what you have offered them in the past and when they have needed you. I know that feeling of friends not caring because i went throuh a phase of that i really thouhght no one cared and sat dwelling on what i hade done for them at one time yet felt ignored.
Having come through this i realised in the end most people were totally unaware of how unwell i had been and how i felt and they didnt want to intrude. So just make sure you are not just presuming things like i did. I also would think to myself i wasnt going to bother with them then, if they didnt but actually doing the opposite helped. When i sent thoughtful texts or rang things improved. :) i will stop now as its getting long ;) hope you are ok x

[Donny]

Please go and see your doctor.

Avoiding the anxiety by trying to be as busy as you possibly can be will only work for so long.

I have been through this twice now and would recommend CBT first before you try any form of meds but you may have left it too long for your recovery without some form of medication.

Your doctor though is the only person qualified to make these decisions with you.

Try and talk it through with a family member as well if you can. You don't need to lay it all out to them in one go. Just start of by saying that "you have been finding it difficult lately"

There are some people who get through this on their own but they are very much the exception. Hence why there are so many members on this site from all over the world.

[Sparkles77]

Thanks everyone :) means a lot to get people's answers. I have been fine the last couple of days, but it comes and goes depending. When I'm in a normal state of mind, reading that back seems so weird. I think the friend thing was just another thing to try and worry about. I've had it all lately, work, relationships, friends, my broken leg, just about everything I can try and worry about... I'm going to try the doctor, though it's hard as when I'm not in that negative mindset, it's hard to remember why I was so panicky. I think for me, it's learning to recognise when I'm in that mindset, realising I'm blowing everything out of proportion, that the feelings will pass and learning how to stop them from becoming the focus of everything.

[rockydog]

Yeah i know what you mean about changing mind sets, i often feel like a different person when i feel unwell so unless someone sees you at that point its hard to describe it. Try writing it down next time and keeping a record of how long it lasts, then whe it happens again you can see the patter and that it did pass ? You have had a lot to cope with so its not surprising your anxiety has risen :) x

[Annie0904]

Your post sounds just like me at the moment. I have broken my foot which has given me more time to sit and become anxious about all sorts of things and my feelings have been much like yours. I think when we have a physical injury on top of anxiety it makes it seem even worse. I am trying to keep my mind occupied with other things such as learning a language online, researching my family tree...I am even thinking about writing my Christmas cards out just to stop me getting anxious about my foot! I hope you feel better soon.