Budgie
05-08-12, 19:16
Hello there :):hugs:
I've been a long time lurker, on and off poster here for a few years, and I have had so much support in difficult times. I feel like a fool because, here I am again, and I am struggling :blush:
I get depression/anxiety, and for some times I can live with it pretty well, and then somehow they creep up and get in my way, and I manage to work through things and get back to something more of a plateau. I've been taking Citalopram for about 3 years, and have support from my GP, and I had some cognitive therapy in 2009.
On the outside, I seem to be ok; I have a job, a good relationship, I get on with my family, and when I am speaking to people at work, I get some nice inspiring comments. But inside I feel like I'm falling apart :unsure: I feel constantly anxious, which leads to more physical issues like ibs, headaches etc. I think depressive feelings are more difficult to deal with at the moment though. I don't really find it easy to discuss it with people close to me as on paper things seem to be going so well with work and general life. I find it hard to explain because really, I don't understand why I feel so down. But somehow I feel like I'm just a complete sham, and everything feels so pointless.
I seem to always feel like I am close to the edge of going crazy and freaking out, which is quite scary. Everything seems to irritate me or worry me, even totally unimportant thing, and I know this is not rational at all. I'm extremely irritated at myself right now because I feel like what I am typing isn't very well expressed :wacko: !
I've been taking a lot of walks to see if it will wring out some of the tension in my mind, but so far its not getting far. My usual hobbies like reading, writing and listening to music are things I usually love, but I can't seem to get into them at all at the moment, which I think adds a bit to how I feel; I feel really un-creative and pent up.
I really ought to have learned something in how to work through things better by now. :blush:
I've been a long time lurker, on and off poster here for a few years, and I have had so much support in difficult times. I feel like a fool because, here I am again, and I am struggling :blush:
I get depression/anxiety, and for some times I can live with it pretty well, and then somehow they creep up and get in my way, and I manage to work through things and get back to something more of a plateau. I've been taking Citalopram for about 3 years, and have support from my GP, and I had some cognitive therapy in 2009.
On the outside, I seem to be ok; I have a job, a good relationship, I get on with my family, and when I am speaking to people at work, I get some nice inspiring comments. But inside I feel like I'm falling apart :unsure: I feel constantly anxious, which leads to more physical issues like ibs, headaches etc. I think depressive feelings are more difficult to deal with at the moment though. I don't really find it easy to discuss it with people close to me as on paper things seem to be going so well with work and general life. I find it hard to explain because really, I don't understand why I feel so down. But somehow I feel like I'm just a complete sham, and everything feels so pointless.
I seem to always feel like I am close to the edge of going crazy and freaking out, which is quite scary. Everything seems to irritate me or worry me, even totally unimportant thing, and I know this is not rational at all. I'm extremely irritated at myself right now because I feel like what I am typing isn't very well expressed :wacko: !
I've been taking a lot of walks to see if it will wring out some of the tension in my mind, but so far its not getting far. My usual hobbies like reading, writing and listening to music are things I usually love, but I can't seem to get into them at all at the moment, which I think adds a bit to how I feel; I feel really un-creative and pent up.
I really ought to have learned something in how to work through things better by now. :blush: