New to this! Will try anything feel like giving up :(

[Laurabaz]

Hi people I'm totally new to this I came across this site while I was surfing the web looking for help so thought I'd give it a go! So here it goes. I have suffered with anxiety for about 10 months now. I still remember my first panic attack how could I forget?! I was just lying down and it was what they call "out of the blue" it was the worst experience I have ever been through and I thought I was going to die! So I phoned myself an ambulance and got told I'd just had a panic attack. I never really understood them at the time like I do now. After that I constantly feared having another one and that then brought on my anxiety and constantly worrying about my health which I believe is called health anxiety as a theropist told me. I went to the doctors and they diagnosed me with a panic disorder and gave me citraplam and referred me to a therapist, after a few weeks of hell the tablets did actually start to work but did make me have bad heart palpitations. So a few weeks on the tablets weren't really helping so I was then put on serteraline I continued to see the theropist and taking the tablets and a few month later I made the mistake of thinking I was totally better so stopped everything. Now I'm stuck in a rut my anxiety is even worse! I don't even fear having a panic attack now it's more concentrating on every little weird feeling in my body and feeling like I'm going to die every second of the day. I went back to the doctors and they gave me tablets again but I just couldn't hack the heart palpitations anymore. So now I'm trying to deal with this all alone and I'm so down I cry all the time because no one understands that's why I'm here trying to speak to people like myself. I just can't live like this anymore feeling ill all the time and constantly thinking in going to die! I haven't had a full nights sleep in months. I have even stopped smoking as I felt weird and dizzy after I had one which is a good thing I know. Ive also stopped drinking because I can't handle how anxious I feel when I'm hungover. I'm sorry this is so long and I'm not even sure if anyone will read this it's just nice to get everything out even if it is just writing it down.

[Serenitie]

:welcome: You are not alone and will receive amazing support from the many people on here who understand what you're going through. Be kind to yourself :hugs:

[Laurabaz]

Thank you :) it will be nice to speak to people who understand. Hoping I make a full recovery and am strong enough to :unsure:

[nomorepanic]

Hi Laurabaz

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[Oliboy]

Hi Laurabaz

I'm new to this site tonight too, I have been reading people's previous posts, already I feel a bit better knowing I am not alone in worrying about every little twinge and feeling I have in my body. My doctor suggested I suffer from anxiety, so I searched the Internet to see exactly what the condition was, from reading other sufferers posts it sounds like its a state of mind,and worrying only makes things worse.
I'm going to continue reading topics on the forum, I've no doubt someone will post something on this thread on to help you, but in the meantime please realise you are not alone.
Hope you feel better soon.

[Laurabaz]

Thank you! I know it's all in my mind I'm just not sure how to train my brain not to constantly worry about these little things. I hope you receive the help you need to! It's not a nice feeling at all :( hoping you recovery and good luck :)

---------- Post added at 23:55 ---------- Previous post was at 23:54 ----------

Thank you Nicola I will do that :)

[Oliboy]

I'm not sure how I go about training my mind to stop these thoughts either, but I guess now that we have identified our problems are in our head we can consider our 'training' as officially underway!!! Excesrcise 1 complete!!

[Laurabaz]

Yeah suppose your right the trouble is with me i kind of know its in my head but still worry and think im going to die or something it's hard to get out of the routine of constantly worrying when that's all I've done for the last ten months. :unsure:

[Oliboy]

Yeah I am the exact same, I feel so tired of feeling this way, I woke up with a sore knuckle the other week, convinced myself it was something really serious and that the pain was spreading all over my body and gettin worse, I got so scared and ended up crying and panicking. I am a 34 yr old man, you would think I should be able to tell myself to snap out of it, but it's gone on for years, I'm now stuck in a rut, i feel these thoughts are takin up 90% of my headspace!!! They are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed, I'm determined to change my way of thinking and start living a bit more, you can do the same!

[Laurabaz]

Aw im the same mines mostly with my breathing I concentrate on it all the time and think im going to just stop breathing even though I've googled this many times and know its impossible to just stop breathing and die but I just can't seem to drum it in my head. I also concentrate on my head a lot and that's why I feel dizzy all the time but I think I'm just going to collapse. It is just little things that turn in to bad things with this. Hope I can do it would love to feel normal again

[Annie0904]

I am new here too. I understand how you are feeling. My anxiety started in 2004 and I was feeling just like you are. It has improved and yours will too, I know that you can't see that at the moment. After my first really bad year it started to get better but I have had weeks were it has got worse but now I know that it will not last and focus on the positives. I broke 2 metatarsals 7 weeks ago and have my foot in a cast..that has started the anxiety again and I convinced myself I would end up losing my foot! My consultant and GP must be sick of me because I am constantly contacting them for reassurance. I wake up feeling really sick and anxious but instead of hiding under the covers like I used to I force myself to get up and get dressed and do something to take my mind of the anxious feelings (that is not always easy to do and sometimes I cry while making the effort). One thing is that you are not alone and we are all here because we want to get reassurance from others or to reassure others. I lose my appetite when I am anxious and I know at the moment I should be eating more to nourish my foot so that is making me more anxious! There is always light at the end of a tunnel and you will learn to cope with the symptoms. I have also had cognitive behaviour therapy which has made me be able to think a bit more positively.

[Laurabaz]

I hope I start to feel better just at the minute I feel like I'm going to be like this forever and it's no way to live at all it's been the worst ten months of my life to be honest. I don't want to take medication either thou and I feel therapy doesn't really help its got to come from inside you really hasn't it. It makes me a little relieved that yours has died down a bit so hopefully mine won't be as bad forever. I do have to force my self out of bed also which does help. As my anxiety seems worse when in in bed! I hope you feel better here's to a healthy happy future! Hopefully :)

[Piano]

Dear Laurabaz, I am also new to this forum. I am sending you a big hug. I also feel that I will never get better, I had a breakdown two months ago. :hugs:

[Annie0904]

I didn't want to take medication but took it on the doctors advice. It didn't seem to help at first as I was on so much medication I just felt drowsy all the time. I still take a low dose now but I know it is helping me so I am happy to take it. I also use Bach rescue remedy which I think you might like to try if you have not already and it is a natural remedy, I never go anywhere without it

[Laurabaz]

Thank you piano :) sending hugs to you too! We will get better we just have to try and be positive you will get better and I'm sure I will as well just seems like I have along way to go :hugs:

---------- Post added at 20:20 ---------- Previous post was at 20:18 ----------

Annie0904 I just don't like the medication cause it made me feel a hundred times worse before I started to feel an effect. I also don't want to become reliant on tablets as I may feel I always need them. Thank you I will look them up :)