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Jawline
06-08-12, 19:36
OK. This is a long story, so bear with me.

I'm currently just over a week away for receiving my results for a comprehensive STI screen. I've not experienced any symptoms, but my wife of three years and I have been together for a total of over five years, and neither of us have been tested in that time (save for a chlamydia test five years ago, which was clear). I had last had a full test in 2006, and passed with flying colours.

I finally bit the bullet and decided to get another full test last week. I'm worried about NOTHING except HIV, what with that being a lifelong ailment and all. My reasons for worrying are as follows : before meeting my wife, I had two unprotected sexual encounters, the latter of which also involved unprotected anal. I am still in contact with these two ladies (both of whom are from low-risk groups), and on friendly terms, thanks to the magic of the internet : both of them have subsequently been in long-term relationships and while I have no knowledge of their testing status, I would like to think that if they HAD been tested and uncovered anything nasty, they would let me know.

However, just over two years ago, I was stupid enough to have a brief affair (again, she was from a low-risk segment of society), which involved a single instance of unprotected sex (not to completion, if you get my meaning). Thankfully my marriage survived this intact, and I cherish every moment with my wife and am eternally grateful for my undeserved second chance. The girl I had the affair with had apparently tested clean shortly before. I can neither confirm nor deny this, as I made a promise to never make contact with her again (and at any rate, she seems to have vanished from the internet altogether). However, what I did noticed before she vanished from the land of internet were some rather cryptic social status updates attributed to her. One read "*her name* is infectious..." and another read "Look what you've done." My lingering guilt has made me assume these were directed at me from afar (she'd done that with statuses before, being a tad loopy and such), and my only thought is that I've either acquired HIV therefrom, or passed it on to her from one of my previous encounters... and therefore, of absolute importance, put my wife in danger. Now, having done some internet sleuthing, the rough timeframe of the "is infectious" update coincided with an outbreak of a respiratory illness in her region, affecting her age group, and "Look what you've done" is the title of a song written from the point of view of someone post-bad-relationship... but I've nonetheless convinced myself that I have, due to my carelessness and idiocy, acquired HIV and potentially doomed my wife also.

I am going out of my mind with worry, crying every day, having to pound back sleeping pills to get any sleep, and constantly viewing transmission statistics and feverishly trying every search term I can to try and find out what may have happened. Essentially, I'm convinced that I am now a statistic. I really don't know how I am going to make it through the next week until I get my results. My wife knows of my worries and says that she will stay with me no matter what I may or may not have given her. I am a lucky man, but terrified nonetheless.

geishagirl
06-08-12, 19:42
Hey Hun

I have had two before and got myself in such a state that I wanted to end it all. I didnt have HIV and it is still very rare. Even if you did have HIV it really is not a death sentance. I know one person with it (via a chat room when I was worried) and he is wayyyyy more healthy and fit than me and is never sick and has a normal life expectancy here in the UK.
Dont stress :) xxx I highly doubt u have it xx

Jawline
06-08-12, 19:51
Thank you for your kind words. :)

---------- Post added at 19:51 ---------- Previous post was at 19:45 ----------

I ought to mention, one reassuring factor is that my wife gives blood fairly regularly, and I know all blood donated is tested and the donor is notified if anything is found. This hasn't happened, so if I *am* incubating anything evil, I hadn't passed it on to my wife as of earlier in 2012.

southey
06-08-12, 20:01
When talking about transmission risks you take it each contact is HIV positive. That being said the risk for a single exposure and being the insertive partner is quite low. The anal was likely the riskiest act but again being the insertive partner the risk is low.

If by chance any of the women were positive and on meds with undetectable viral loads the chance of transmission drops dramatically.

Yes getting tested is a good idea, most probably for peace of mind. HIV is not that easy to transmit but other STD's are and can go undetected so worth testing for.

Steve.

Jawline
06-08-12, 20:52
When talking about transmission risks you take it each contact is HIV positive. That being said the risk for a single exposure and being the insertive partner is quite low. The anal was likely the riskiest act but again being the insertive partner the risk is low.

If by chance any of the women were positive and on meds with undetectable viral loads the chance of transmission drops dramatically.

Yes getting tested is a good idea, most probably for peace of mind. HIV is not that easy to transmit but other STD's are and can go undetected so worth testing for.

Steve.

Thanks Steve :) My test encompassed a whole bunch of STIs, but I'm only concerned about HIV, given that pretty much all the others can be eliminated with meds.

southey
06-08-12, 21:12
If you posted this thread over on Aidsmeds.com in the 'am I infected' forum the responders would tell you yes there is a small risk but overall the chance of transmission in your case would be low.

Don't go ploughing the internet for statistics, there is so much old out of date info and also misleading info.

If you have to research keep to sites like Aidsmeds, The body, Aidsmap.

remember that HIV is very, very treatable these days and nothing like the dark days pre 1996.

Steve.

Jawline
07-08-12, 10:10
One week until I get my results (assuming no holdups with the lab or anything of that nature). I really hope I can make it through these seven days without cracking up completely.

Jawline
08-08-12, 10:45
Six days to go. Compulsively checking every forum and site I've gone to. Can't wait for this to be over.

nervousmummytobe
08-08-12, 11:19
Hey,
You mentioned about your wife giving blood..... if you had HIV there would be a 90 percent chance your wife would have it too if you have frequent sex! the fact she doesnt should give you some reassurance (not that you should use her to diagnose) but the odds are pretty low

Jawline
08-08-12, 11:37
It does give me some reassurance, but I know there are stories of long-term couples where one party is positive and their partner is negative. At the moment, I'm acting as if the worst is the case and planning accordingly. Any other news will come as a wonderful blessing. In a very roundabout and weird way, I would give ANYTHING to have chlamydia at the moment. That can be dealt with.

(I guess getting married has helped reduce the risk, given how it traditionally results in one's sex life becoming a lot less lively... :D)

nervousmummytobe
08-08-12, 11:51
I know how you feel! I have been through this whole std scare thing and was almost certain my results would say HIV + ! when i expressed my fears to my friends they thought I was crazy! ... givign your situation i think it will be negative but I know the feeling of convincing yourself otherwise!
I remember the 2 week wait was the longest wait of my life!! they told me i was all clear and i was relieved for a week and found something else to fret over !

Jawline
10-08-12, 09:42
Four days to go. Not panicking any more, just a constant ache and misery. I'm also too woozy from the sleepers to get agitated.

southey
10-08-12, 14:13
Yep I know how hard or impossible it can be not to worry but the odds are really in your favour to come out of this OK.

I know your not going to be able to stop researching and I normally try to tell people to stop it but I couldn't when I was in your shoes so keep to the sites I mentioned and you will get all the most up to date information without having to wade through all the other rubbish out there.

ATB,

Steve.

Jawline
13-08-12, 17:58
Well, urine tests came back : no gonorrhea or chlamydia. Just waiting for bloods now.