Zolofted
08-08-12, 21:25
Hi,
I had an appointment for a stress test today and got so worked up about it that I have decided not to attend and rescheduled.
I felt ok for the last couple of days but because yesterday I couldn't stop thinking that I will have to have the test today I got into full panic mode.
I was so scared this morning it would have been impossible for me to even get there.
I called to let them know I couldn't make it and rescheduled. While on the phone I have been told that I am also booked in for an ultrasound!!! (that scares the ** out of me) and the 24 hr Holter. And an appointment in the AF clinic. I said I have not been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, he said he does not know why I am booked there?! And then he called back to say the appointment is in the AF clinic because that is where I will see the cardiologist after tests are done. When I hang up I was shaking all over and could not stop panicking.
I have this heart phobia which is eating me alive. And I am soo scared about the results that I lose control over myself and my thoughts.
Attending these teste would be like "exposure therapy" to me and I have not started any therapy at all, I only have myself at the moment and no support from anyone else.
No one really knows how afraid I am, I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel like crying all the time, have lost weight because I don't eat much. I am not hungry because I am too scared and the only thing I do at the moment is to worry and obsess about my heart. I am like a stuck record, I am so tired.
I feel like I live in a bubble, like there is a glass wall between me and the rest of the world.
I have no idea what I am going to do :weep:
I had an appointment for a stress test today and got so worked up about it that I have decided not to attend and rescheduled.
I felt ok for the last couple of days but because yesterday I couldn't stop thinking that I will have to have the test today I got into full panic mode.
I was so scared this morning it would have been impossible for me to even get there.
I called to let them know I couldn't make it and rescheduled. While on the phone I have been told that I am also booked in for an ultrasound!!! (that scares the ** out of me) and the 24 hr Holter. And an appointment in the AF clinic. I said I have not been diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, he said he does not know why I am booked there?! And then he called back to say the appointment is in the AF clinic because that is where I will see the cardiologist after tests are done. When I hang up I was shaking all over and could not stop panicking.
I have this heart phobia which is eating me alive. And I am soo scared about the results that I lose control over myself and my thoughts.
Attending these teste would be like "exposure therapy" to me and I have not started any therapy at all, I only have myself at the moment and no support from anyone else.
No one really knows how afraid I am, I don't know what to do with myself.
I feel like crying all the time, have lost weight because I don't eat much. I am not hungry because I am too scared and the only thing I do at the moment is to worry and obsess about my heart. I am like a stuck record, I am so tired.
I feel like I live in a bubble, like there is a glass wall between me and the rest of the world.
I have no idea what I am going to do :weep: