Needing Support

[Cats make it better]

I have this issue with my husband right now. I feel like he isn't very supportive of me. Here is why: I am a known hypochondriac. My husband tells me that every time I hear a symptom, I begin to have it... Which may be true. But last month, I wasn't feeling well and went to the doc, I was diagnosed with cellulitis. But a few days later it was much worse and half of my face was paralized! I was talking to my husband about it and he didn't even care. He acted like it was all in my head and there was nothing wrong with me. Well I drove myself to the doc, having a huge panic attack the whole way there. And I got a new diagnosis of shingles in the ear and bell's palsy. Which basically means, the swelling from my ear compressed a nerve behind the drum, causing my face to be paralized. I called my husband and told him what the doctor said and he was shocked. Clearly he just thought I was crazy. I have told him now how he made me feel, but I can help but feel resentment toward him. He never listens to my symptoms and just writes them off as "just in my head".

I am asking advice on how to forgive him for not listening to me and believing me. I am just having a really hard time letting go. this was a serious illness, and he wouldn't even drive me to the doctor. :lac:

[Zolofted]

I know it is difficult, but try to look at things through his eyes for a minute. How many of these episodes have proved to be all in your head?

It seems to me as if he has the opposite of what you have:) he had to build this protective shield to keep him sane and help him help you.
Otherwise he would probably get to be like us and can you imagine how your family life would be if you both had health anxiety, or any anxiety for that matter.

I really feel sorry for my husband. I honestly do. For all the nights out he missed because of my anxiety, for all the days he came back from work tired hoping to find a smiling and loving wife and finding a mental lunatic that sat on her arse all day crying her eyes out, covered in toilet tissue and possessed by thoughts and fears that made no sense to a sane person. For all the love making we did not make because my abdominal pains, head aches, heart aches, palpitations or just bad moods, for all the smiles I haven't smiled when he deserved it. For what were supposed to be the best years of his life.

And if he chose one day to ignore me or walk away I would completely understand and definitely find it within me to forgive. For all the other times he's been there for me.

He told a few nights ago he can't stand to see me "like this" anymore and that hurt and made me cry, but I understand him. I can't stand myself anymore.

And I think there is this probability with us HA sufferers. One day no gp,family member husband or wife will believe our symptoms anymore:(

I think for me sometimes it helps when my symptoms are dismissed or I am being ignored as it makes me realise I'm crossing the line again.

I am sorry you are not well, I am not sure I understand what it is exactly but I hope you will get better soon xxx

---------- Post added at 23:34 ---------- Previous post was at 23:27 ----------

Sorry I mean I don't know what bell palsy is. But please don't tell me :hugs:

I really hope you will feel better soon and forget he disappointed you. I am sure he did not mean to hurt you.
:bighug1:

[swgrl09]

Hi, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Here you have real diagnoses and are not getting proper support. I know that for me and my partner, couples therapy has helped a lot. I know that no amount of explaining on my part will make him understand, as it's impossible to understand without going through it anyway. But having a therapist moderate, maybe educate him as well about what you are going through may help. Would he be willing to go?

[Cats make it better]

I am sure he would be willing to go with me, it would be a matter of finding a therapist. I was seeing one. She was aweful. Told me that my husband is "not my soul mate". This was only after 2 sessions! Esh. So I stopped seeing her. She was very opinionated and telling me what would be happening in my life. I need someone who will really listen to me. I went in there to discuss my food aversions and she wanted to just talk about my marriage. I feel like if I could get the food aversions under control, my marriage would be in better shape.

[johnielov]

I feel so sorry of what you've been through at this moment.. I hope your husband would have sympathy for you problems. Maybe you just have to go to your friends and open up your problems, talking to your friends will help:)