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Yvonne
23-07-06, 09:26
Hi All

I wondered if anyone could offer me some advice as I'm having a bad time at the moment with meds again!!! All comments and points of view welcome please.

Came off Citalapram 6 weeks ago due to the fact that I only ever had a partial response to it. It was raised to highest dosage of 60 when I developed dry eye syndrome which was very painful.

I was then put on Nortriptylene and this caused an irregular heart rythm and I had to stop taking it abruptly after four weeks.

I was then put back on 30mg dosage of Citalapram for three weeks which had little effect on my depression and anxiety. In fact I know the Citalapram made my anxiety worse.

Six weeks ago the psychiatrist decided to try me on Sertraline - she wanted to try another ssri before moving on to Venlaflaxine or Duloxetine.

I had to decrease the Citalapram over a two week period and stop whilst I was on a 50mg dosage of Sertraline. I then had to up the Sertraline to 100mg. Saw the psych again and told her I was still tearful and anxious. She said that I would need 150mg of this medication and I had to raise it at the end of the following week.

All this time I was feeling no better but just kept hoping that once the med kicked in I would feel better.

The following day after raising to 150mg I woke with a bad back ache, very stiff at the base of the spine and in the buttock area. I didn't worry too much at first and thought I may have strained myself.

A week went by and nothing was easing the back pain. I was taking Paracetemol which was having little effect.

I did do a little research on Sertraline to see if there was any side effect of back ache. There was but it was something like one in a 100 people and therefore wasn't mentioned on the patient info leaflet.

I told the psych about my back and she said it was purely coincidental and that she had never come across back ache or stiffness in that area with Sertraline. I told her I was still feeling very low and she said it was early days yet med wise. I knew that and I guessed that it may take up to 8 weeks for this med to kick in.

The psych told me to go to the gp and get my back checked out which I did. The gp has no involvement with my anti depressants since she withdrew me from Seroxat nearly two years ago - and she did it the wrong way and I went into a bad withdrawal. It was then she handed me over to a psychiatrist to sort out the med situation.

She looked at my back and made me turn this way and that etc. She said that it was muscular - no sign of injury. She told me that exercise is good for back ache. I told her I exercise daily more than most.

I asked her if it could be the med causing it and she said that the meds can cause muscular aches. I asked what I should do and she did not want to comment. She told me it was up to me! What did I think I should do?!!!!

I managed to squeeze out of her that if it was her she would be inclined to decrease the medication. I told her that I was feeling very very low and she said that anti depressants don't always work for people. She said it's a matter of lifestyle as well.

I wanted to scream at her that for the last year and a half of suffering from awful depression and anxiety I have tried and tried and tried. I have walked into panic despite feeling dreadful. I have forced myself to keep getting out all the time. I don't sit and feel sorry for myself all day I have tried everything I know.

I reduced the med last Wednesday to 100 and my back is still very stiff and even getting dressed is hard.

I feel very low and am crying at the drop of a hat. The decrease of Sertraline from 150 to 100 may have made me feel worse and I am aware of that but I just feel like I can't win.

I am seeing the psychiatrist on Friday of this week but I don't know if I can suffer the back ache that long. It's a really awkward situation.

I would be very grateful to hear anyone's advice or what they think about this current dilemma I'm in.

Take care all


Yvonne

Y Goble

joy
23-07-06, 09:44
Your story just sounds like mine apart from the back ache.
I came off Seroxat last year with no probs then 3 months later the anxiety came back so I thought I'll just go back on it. After 2 tablets I was in extreme panic and bouncing off the walls so the Gp swapped me to Citalopram which was a 1000 times worse. I was either hyper or drugged. So I tried going back on Seroxat on a low dose. After all it worked before I kept telling mysef. I went thro 8 weeks of hell with the GP saying it would improve. It didnt. Tried 6 weeks without any meds then GP referred me to a Psychiatrist which freaked me out but she prescribed Mirtazapine and wrote to to GP saying"this lady just wants a quick fix!!!) Any way 8 weeks on I'm no better. Like you I go out and fly in the face of panic and try and ignore it without much success generally. I think the docs think we just sit and wallow in the feelings. I too am back at the GPs on Thurs and who knows what to say

Yvonne
23-07-06, 12:15
hi Joy

Thanks so much for your reply - I only sent the post this morning and was so hoping I'd get a response.

My story of Seroxat is as follows; Was on it for 6 years. Moved house, felt fine. New doc and I agreed it was time for me to come off it, after all I was very well.

My gp began to withdraw me but unbeknown to me she was doing it too quickly. I have never ever in my life felt the way I did then. My anxiety went through the roof I could get no peace from it. Constant stomach churning or lump in the stomach, enormous lump in the throat, racing heart, weird thoughts. The tiredness and fatigue was literally disabling but the most distressing thing was that Icould not stop crying!!

When I went to my doctor telling her how bad I was she said "you have to weather the storm" still not realising that something was very wrong. In th end she had to hand me over to a psychiatrist - and I, like you was scared stiff because the thought of a psychiastrist only meant one thing to me - men in white coats!!!!!!!

When I saw the psychiatrist he was very angry at the way my doctor had been withdrawing me from Seroxat. He wrote to her that same day and told her that "withdrawing a patient from Seroxat the wrong way is fraught with danger".

He put me back on my original dosage of 20mg, then 30mg - no response I was still crying and so anxious it was unreal. I truly thought I was going mad and thought I was the only person in the world to be going through such a thing .... until I started surfing the websites and I then realised that loads of others were going through the same thing post Seroxat.

How dare your doctor say you want a quick fix - a little alleviation from the symptoms is what we want. I am sure you are not ignorant to these medications and have done your homework as I have and know that these meds take time to work. However, when you just don't get any better at all and the weeks and months keep passing how the hell are we supposed to feel?

Do you see the psychiatrist regularly? I ask that question because in my opinion gp's are a waste of time when it comes to this sort of illness.

Can I ask you if you suffered depression before? I personally only ever suffered bad anxiety and could not have imagined in my wildest dreams what depression felt like. I know now though and it is the worst place to be.

You do get to a stage where you just don't know where to turn. I have been very lucky with psychiatrists. I have seen about four in all and all of them have been ultra supportive, caring and concerned. Thank god for that eh?

If you would like to speak to fellow ex Seroxat users then go to www.Seroxatmadforum.org there you will find lots of people who have been through exactly the same thing.

Lots of love to you and I hope that you have some joy with you doc - he will probably increase the dosage of the Mirtazepine because this is what they do.

Yvonne

Y Goble

joy
23-07-06, 12:56
Well just come in from church with the usual shakes and panic. Actually my GP has been great but doesnt know what to do which is why the shrink referral! The shrink is the one who said I wanted a quick fix! She really scared me as we paid to see her privately and she said if I had private health insurance she would admit me!!!!! I feel I,m in a vortex of being over medicated and labelled as some one with mental illness when all I thought is that I had anxiety. I too have never been depressed until this all started even to the point of being suicidable altho thankfully not seriously. I dont feel like that now just still anxious and panicky.I am on the highest dose of Mirtazapine for this country so the next stop is Effexor which can be seriously hard to come off and get on. Dont think I want that. Maybe I'd be better off without.Scared to stop and scared to carry on sums it up. The side effects of Mirtazapine are supposed to be increased appetite-I have totally no appetite and sleepiness- I cant sleep without sleeping tablets which I never needed before all this. The GP advises Diazapam or propanalol for the anxiety neither of which work. She also wants me to go to a 3 hour CBT workshop. How these people expect a panicky person to go somewhere for 3 hours is beyond me! Anyway I dont think I need that sort of therapy. I dont seriously expect the pills to work I just think they say that cos they dont know what else to do. When I first started Seroxat it worked within days so I dont believe all this C**P about taking weeks I think they just hope you'll just get better anyway. The worse thing is that I keep putting off seeing my grown up children and they are beginning to think I dont love them which is far from the truth but want to be the Mum they know and love not these pathetic being. My husband is totally confused as he didnt know I was originally on "Anything". My friends say they miss me but not half as much as I miss myself!!!Stop the world I want to get off!!!!
Love Joy

Yvonne
23-07-06, 14:51
Hi Joy

I don't like the sound of that psych at all - she must have made you feel heaps better!!! I can't believe she even suggested you going into hospital for treatment.

You sound as if you are like me, avoiding people - not wanting the kids to see how bad you really are. Mine are younger than yours, 18 and 21 but it is hurting them badly to see me as I am and not improving.

A cbt session of three hours! I don't think so - not when you feel so anxious it's impossible.

My husband is confused as well as being totally fed up with it all. His wife isn't the same one he used to have, He wants me back and I do too.

It seems as if we are both going through a very similar thing and god knows where we go from here eh?

Seeing as you're on the highest dosage of Mirtazepine I imagine your doctor will change the med now.

You said you're not feeling so depressed, maybe the Mirtazepine is working for the anxiety but not the depression. It's all so frustrating and just does not give you any hope.

Keep in touch and let me know how you get on with your gp.
Take care

Yvonne

PS Have you tried all the usual things like relaxation, exercise, etc etc. I have but nothing seems to help.

Y Goble

joy
23-07-06, 14:58
Wasnt depressed at all til taking the meds!!!! Went a bit crazy recently and tried hypnotherapy which was rubbish.and something called Thought Field Therapy which was even worse. Reflexology is nice but cant really help can it?? Trouble is I have faith in medication(or did) so I just keep expecting it to work.
Like you I do keep avoiding people except they wont let me! Even when I feel Okish I'm not comfortable in my own skin if you know what I mean.
Will report back later
Its good to talk!
Do you think Seroxat has damged us permentally????
Love joy

Yvonne
23-07-06, 17:09
Hi Joy

We seem to have something good going here - as you say it's good to talk.

I also have faith in the meds and keep hoping and hoping that the next one will be the one to bring me back to "normalness". Trouble is when nothing hits the spot it just makes you feel even more depressed.

Being uncomfortable in your own skin - I couldn't have put it better myself. I have neighbours come for coffee and I just feel anxious whilst they'r around. Sometimes the anxiety wears off a bit but generally unless I am speaking to friends who truly understand and have suffered/are suffering this illness themselves I just feel uneasy.

Someone else I speak to a lot - an ex Seroxateer also commented that maybe Seroxat has damaged us permanently. Well, it certainly wouldn't surprise me. However, we must not go down that road of negative thinking or else we may as well give up all hope now.

The therapies you mentioned i.e. EFT and hypnosis - I know all about them. I wish Paul McKenna would come around here and sort me out. I do have a hypnotherapy tape and I must admit it's rally relaxing but as for it helping my anx/dep - no I'm afraid not. I also bought the Linden Method which cost £100 and it was no use either. My latest thing is mindful meditation. It's good - it's about accepting all feelings and not allowing yourself to react to them. Easier said than done though. It does need a lot of practise and I will carry on with it because it can hardly do me any harm.

Claire Weekes' books were always my comfort, however she also advises acceptance and I'm afraid my enormous efforts to accept just keep failing.

Anyway take care Joy and hope to hear from you again.

Yvonne

Y Goble