Really annoyed with myself 😪

[Smiffy3594]

I managed to fly to Spain to see parents (lots of attacks on way to airport) helped having my sister fly with me - went to local supermarket & shops here in spain and was fine

Tonight the mention of going out to eat set me off - we went to the restaurant felt extremely anxious in the car got to the restaurant ordered drinks managed to sip at it, ordered food but could only pick at it (as my stomach was churning & the feeling that I urgently needed the toilet - if you guys get the drift) not even a quarter of my meal was eaten (& I love my food when at home) I couldn't even bring myself to smoke my sister kept asking if I wanted to go outside for a smoke but all I could think about was my if I smoke it's going to make my stomach worse & I will need to run to the loo & didn't want to do anything that was gonna contribute

My family know I have panic attacks but don't think they realised exactly how it affects me - they do now ! And they were supportive but it didn't help how I was feeling - as soon as we got back to mum & dads house stomach was fine !! & I was chuffing away on a cigarette

I feel really really frustrated with myself - I made the plane trip & got thru that even with many attacks and feeling the same way as in the restaurant -why couldnt I get thru it at the restaurant & enjoy my meal :weep: feel like I ruined my families meal even though they say I didn't :weep:

[sunshine1]

I think you did really well to get on the plane and fly there! Perhaps all your adrenalin for preparaation and flying etc has just caught up with you. It is also tiring travelling. Don't be too hard on yourself, tomorrow is another day, pu today's small blip behind you. I am sure that your family will not feel that you ruined the meal and were just pleased to see you. Have a good rest tonight and that will help you to feel more relaxed tomorrow.:)

[theharvestmouse]

You did well, take the positive that you went out there on the plane, as sunshine said, don't dwell on it, tomorrow is a fresh day.

[johnielov]

Yes I agree to sunshine 1 and theharvestmouse you did really well, the fact that you fight your anxiety to go out and you didn't smoke too that was a big accomplishment. Keep it up. :yesyes: