This can't be normal surely

[Zolofted]

I have been really obsessed lately with my heart anxiety, I must admit, but had an epiphany today and realised its absolutely out of control now.

I was at work and noticed that it was the second time today when my phone ran out of battery and asked myself why. Then I was like, oh i se, I've been reading stuff online.
So I had a look at my browsing history for the past few days on my phone and I would like to share this with you now if you've got nothing better to do that is:)

So, let's start with Monday:
-a man his mind and an MRI
-lots of guardian,telegraph
-what makes us shiver(9 different websites)
-why do I shiver randomly (5 websites visited)
-arm pain with anxiety (almost 10 websites visited)
-no more panic (about 30 different threads, all heart related)

Tuesday:
-body vibrating
-arm pain with anxiety
-no more panic (heart related threads, ecgs, symptoms, etc)

At some point I think I realised I was being plain stupid and went on to look on NY Times just to take my mind away from things, read 2 articles and then stumbled upon an article about how cardiologists in the states are referring patients for ablations and other invasive heart procedures for financial gain only.
I started googling ablation, radio frequency ablation and other types of ablations for the rest of the day

Wednesday
- 5 different websites for Wolf Parkinson White
- the rest of heart related threads on no more panic (probably around 50 pages)
- medhelp "heart arrythmias"
- google "vibrating chest"
- google "cardiac arrythmias"
- google "twinge in chest"
- by this point, I started crying, so I had to google "can't stop crying" to see i have no idea what?!:blush:
- then read about the Olympics for a while
- no more panic symptoms pages

Thursday:
- "can our brain fake symptoms"
- "best psychiatrist London"
- "best cbt therapist London"
- "cbt success rates"
- "serotonin and anxiety/depression"
- "ssri's side effects"
- "bbc radio 4 all in the brain"
- "stress test results" i was probably hoping that google will reveal my results before I took the test :ohmy:
- no more panic heart related searches

Today (very light)
- "radio frequency catheterisation"
- "death intrusive thoughts"
- no more panic health anxiety

And this is 9-5 only. I come home and guess what do I do?! But that's a different device.

I am utterly pathetic, that's all I can think of at the moment.

---------- Post added at 23:14 ---------- Previous post was at 23:12 ----------

I now realise, probably would have posted this under OCD

[uk23]

I wouldn't put that under ocd at all, fits nicely with ha - I'm the same!

[Anxious lu]

Thank you so much.. I was at work this morning, webt out ahopping with my sister went for dinner at a restaurant etc..

Just checked my history for today.. Counted 60 sites before I gave up wasn't even half way through.. Where do we find the time to do this to ourselves!?! No wonder we all think we are dying everything online is so negative excluding these forums. We only accept the worst aswell.. When Will we learn that google is not a doctor?

I am ashamed x

[Zolofted]

This is so frustrating. God, I really need to take control over myself.
And it is embarrassing, I mean I literally have to hide to read all these things. Plus, I should be working. But I can't, it's all I think about:((((

---------- Post added at 23:40 ---------- Previous post was at 23:36 ----------

I am very embarrassed and ashamed,you are right.
I am letting myself down, but also people that trust me and rely on me. Colleagues, family.
I haven't cooked a meal IN WEEKS, haven't done any housework, I'm too busy googling symptoms and crap.

[SheilaH921]

I am new to this site. I really want to get help. I am so sick of having a constant worry that I am going to get cancer or that every small symptom I have must mean I have a serious illness. It is so draining and I know its totally irrational. I really dont want to be like this any longer :weep:

[Anxious lu]

Its so hard for people to understand. I just informed my sister on this fact and she was shocked she tries to make me look at it like an addiction
Which is exactly what it is. Don't you find yourself focusing on things that would never bother you I stared at and probed a spot on my leg for like an hour today lol in case it became a rash..

I feel for you.. I do! I have no family that rely on me luckily but my boyfriend which I live with is finding this really hard, I don't know how long he will be able to put up with me.. Although I have started to get help so fingers crossed :-)

It's crazy that we fear illness and disease yet we are making ourselves unwell.

[SheilaH921]

i have two kids and I am the same if they get a symptom. I hate it so much. I HATE when people say ' if you worry so much youl give urself cancer' ughhhhh!!! That makes me feel a million times worse and just makes me think well then i must have cancer then!!
I know that no one understands, they think its simple to stop being like this but its not. What help are you getting? Have you been giving any meds? Ive been put on beta blockers. I havent asked to be referred for help but I think I will as I seriously cant cope being like this any longer. Sometimes I feel like im crazy, or the doctors must see me coming....

[Anxious lu]

I can't imagine what it must be like to worry for three people it's like three times the stress!! My niece is two and I started googling a face rash she had even though the doctor said when she was little she may have eczema..

Wow yeah I suppose it's like if anyone is going to get cancer from stress it's us anxiety bunch lol. How are the beta blockers working? I went to the doctor about it and he advised me to try talking to a councillor first. I spoke to him yesterday over the phone and he already made me think.. He has signed me up to stress management and relaxation technique classes and we will see how things go in future..

Doctors deffo see it coming I had a swollen throat feeling after having gerd the doctor didn't even touch my throat just said oh it's your anxiety I though wwwhhhaaatt if it's not? Might go again if it doesn't change.

[SheilaH921]

I have gerd symptoms aswell, this inturn gives me chest pains which freak me out. I take omeprazole now and it keeps the pains away. Ive only been on the beta blockers a week now. I had a headache that lasted 2 weeks and i seriously had myself in a mess that I must have a brain tumour. Thats when she gave me the beta blockers and said its tension headaches. I am def going to go and see can I get referred, id do anything to not be like this. I know at the time im being irrational but I just cant help it. Its the most frustrating thing and none of my friends understand :weep:

[Anxious lu]

Is acid reflux a common problem in those who suffer anxiety then? I am on those pills too .. I was lucky as my chest was not so bad it's was more my throat sensation and now it's just the lump on throat.. I got so worked up I stuck my finer in my throat and can feel large lumps near my gag reflex on my tongue.. Must be throat cancer?!? Aren't we silly I feel fine now talking and joking about it but tomorrow will be a separate issue all together :-(

Yeah it's hard for non sufferers to get it I'm just told by my bf to ignore it.. Lol wish it was so easy :-)

[loonerj]

Its not silly, I suffer with this too and it completely rules my life. I am constantly living in fear and I have 2 children as well and I am the same with them.

I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy its a horrible illness to have. I suffer with the swollen throat feeling, lump in throat, swollen tongue. Tv snow vision, stomach pains, headaches, dizzy but not dizzy more like fuzzy head, joint pain, muscle tenderness, palpitations and panic! and there are probably more symptoms I suffer with but I will be here all night.

I am the same on the internet, I think I heard someone talking about brain anneurysms so off I went on the internet and typed "what causes brain annerysms" then I am typing in "dizzy head" blah blah blah, and it always brings up the worse thing ever!! I am up the doctors all the time but always feel they but everything down to anxiety. but I am like "well how do you know, U havent done any tests apart from blood tests, what if your wrong" well I have been sayin this for the past 7 yrs now and I am still here.

I really hope you find a cure if you do let me know what it is. Your not alone here to chat always.

[Matt King]

Is acid reflux a common problem in those who suffer anxiety then?

I went to my GP yesterday about acid reflux to get prescribed something and got to see a training GP instead who explained it. I can't remember exactly but yes, anxiety sufferers do have GERD more often. Partly because of stress and shallow breathing. He said you can reduce it through breathing exercises as when you breath shallow two (let's just say) pipes cross over which allows the acid in your stomach to rise up.

It could probably be explained a lot better, or i might be wrong. But long story short, anxiety can increase it. Take a deep breath, stay away from search engines and relax :)

[SheilaH921]

Im the same, i can joke about it and look back at how irrational i have been but at the time its awful. What age are you? Im 26. Do u know what caused you be like this? My mum got breast cancer 6 years ago and thats caused my constant worry and fear of cancer.

---------- Post added at 10:49 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------

Hey loonerj, google is def my biggest problem. Im hoping instead of using google il come on this site. Easier said than done when you have a symptom. Have any of yous a fear of dying? Thats my biggest fear and im wonder if thats whats feeding my constant worry.
Also are any of yous morbid, like do bad thoughts keep coming in to your head? Like i just cant help it. Just say my son has a symptom, il google it for hours, il get myself in a state and convince myself it could be cancer, then il be thinking what if he dies, how will i cope, what about his funeral etc etc.
I just dont think it can be normal the way i always think these morbid thoughts. Is anyone else like this?