View Full Version : My story so far...
Hello everyone,
I've posted a few times here, but I have noticed that most of the posters complain about the current issues and later don't come back, so it's not clear if they issues where anxiety related or not. So I'm planning to post all things I've experienced so far, both to help others with similar issues and also to have some kind of "log" for myself. I'm 32 years old, male.
First, a chronological list of what has happened to me:
- Around 2006, had a urinary infection and since then I had to urinate more often than before. Usually wake up once at night to urinate.
- Around 2010, started having some stomach issues...lots of gas, irregular bowel movement, sometimes diarrhea...still have some of them (mostly lots of gas)
- May 2011, had kidney stones and urinary infection again. (started worrying about kidney failure)
- June 2011, after a heavy drinking night, woke up with some chest tightness and a feeling of breathlessness. A few days later, woke up in the middle of night with palpitations, sweating, shortness of breath...though I was having a heart attack. (started worrying about heart attack)
- July 2011, started having tingling in my left forearm always in the same place. Also my left arm felt weaker.
- September 2011, urinary infection again.
- October 2011, started having regularly sweating, palpitations and shortness of breath in the middle of the night or when waking up in the morning.
- October 2011, had a pyelography to check the kidneys and urinary system. Everything was normal.
- February 2012, more issues coming on...lots of time feeling like fainting. Lost appetite. Started loosing weight. Tingling alsmost everywhere. Was sure something very bad was happening. (Started worrying about liver cancer/failure)
- April 2012, things got really bad...couldn't sleep properly, lots of fatigue. (Was sure I had something bad with my heart and probably diabetes or some other thing)
- End of April 2012, had a full check-up (blood, urine, heart echo, ECG, abdominal echo, Chest X-ray). Couldn't believe that everything came back normal.
- May 2012, issues with heart, feeling of fainting, weak legs, etc continued. Continued loosing weight. Also my vision didn't seem normal.
- June 2012, had an anxiety attack and my left leg felt very weak. I though it would not hold me. Also if felt like the leg wasn't mine.
- June 2012, diagnosed with anxiety, started meds (Escitalopram and Xanax)
- July 2012, things started to improve...no more heart issues, appetite was back to normal, mood was much better. Weakness of my left leg improved, but still there.
- August 2012, had heart holter monitor and tension holter monitor. Heart was back fine. Tension was OK (average 116/76, slightly high...was recommended physical activity). Also had another abdominal echo (mostly to check the adrenal glands)
- Currently my biggest issue is the weak feeling on my left leg (also left arm). It gets better with anti-anxiety meds, but doesn't disappear completely.
Now an overview of what I have been worried and what has come out until now:
- Kidney failure. All tests have come back normal including urine, blood, a few echos, pyelography. After the last echo, the doc told my the kidneys (and abdomen in general) are perfect.
- Heart failure. All tests have come back normal (heart echo, ECK, holter monitor).
- Liver failure. All test have come back normal (blood, echo)
- Diabetes. Fasting glucose came back normal (although in the high range). Have bought a glucose test kit and will do some tests myself to check for glucose tolerance. I suspect I may be pre-diabetic.
- Stomach or colon. Haven't done any specific tests yet. Strangely I'm not so worried about it. Probably it's IBS.
- Neurological issues. Right now I'm convinced something is wrong (because weakness in my left side, bladder issues). My self diagnosis is: 90% PPMS, 9% BT, 0.9% ALS, 0.1% something benign.
I'll try and keep this post updated as new tests are performed or new symptoms appear.
If the tests are coming back normal, then the great probability is that physically you are now normal, and any symptoms are psychological in origin.
You did have urinary infections and kidney stones in the past, so it's something you need to monitor. Problems in this area are often painful, so you will get good warning, and treatment is available.
If you've had a heart echo done and the doctors say it's healthy, then don't worry about a heart attack. The symptoms are very likely anxiety.
I should have added that after the test I'm not worried anymore about heart, kidneys and liver (this is why they're green). I'm slightly worried about diabetes and stomach/colon issues, but I'm very worried about neurological disease (although I have learned that MS is not as scary as it seems)
My guess is that there is an extremely high chance that you are 100% physically healthy, and are suffering from anxiety.
Focus your health concerns on maintaining a healthy lifestyle - don't smoke, drink in moderation, keep your weight in check, exercise, monitor your blood pressure, don't let yourself get over-stressed - and twenty years from now, when people your age start succumbing to lifestyle-related illnesses, you will be robustly healthy and preparing to run your next marathon.
Thank you for the kind words. I had some hope that it would be only anxiety, but after never completely disappearing in more than 2 months it seems very unlikely. I have read lots of posts here about people with anxiety feeling weak in legs/arms, but they last for hours or days...and they come and go. NO ONE (at least from what I have read in the forums) had the weakness last for so long...In my case it's always there, although sometimes much better than others and anti-anxiety meds make it better.
On the other hand it you add the tingling I had (don't have it anymore) and the bladder issues they point to MS and most probably PPMS. Anyway I'm planning to do some vacations and in September do some tests for diabetes and after that tackle the neuro issues.
---------- Post added at 18:38 ---------- Previous post was at 18:36 ----------
As for the lifestyle I'm trying to improve things....I don't smoke, I'm drinking only one cup of coffee, being careful with alcohol, etc. However I have to get better with exercise and to get up earlier in the morning...
i had weak right arm and pins and needles lots in my left hand. had a few deep tissue massages and lots better now - alng with anti depressants. I think it came from all the tension in my neck and upper back brough on by my anxiety stress etc. How about giving deep tissue massages and relaxation a try to see if that helps?
A little simple pinched nerve can cause a lot of those symptoms.
Massage sounds like a good idea. Can you see a masseur, physiotherapist or chiropractor where you are?
A little simple pinched nerve can cause a lot of those symptoms.
I really wish it to be a pinched nerve...but seems so unlikely :(
---------- Post added at 10:36 ---------- Previous post was at 10:35 ----------
Massage sounds like a good idea. Can you see a masseur, physiotherapist or chiropractor where you are?
Yes I can find physiotherapist here...but I have to do some neruo tests first...if somehow they'll come back normal, I'll look for a physiotherapist or massuer
---------- Post added at 10:37 ---------- Previous post was at 10:36 ----------
i had weak right arm and pins and needles lots in my left hand. had a few deep tissue massages and lots better now - alng with anti depressants. I think it came from all the tension in my neck and upper back brough on by my anxiety stress etc. How about giving deep tissue massages and relaxation a try to see if that helps?
did you had the weak right arm for months?
yes! one of th reasons that i felt i needed anti depressants again was that i had weak arm abd tingling, i don't recognise that i am as streesed and tense as I am. Had x-rays and blood tests the first time and was convinced that I had MS/als or other degenerative thing. Massage on my upper back and neck really helped. I had 3 before I felt much better.:)
yes! one of th reasons that i felt i needed anti depressants again was that i had weak arm abd tingling, i don't recognise that i am as streesed and tense as I am. Had x-rays and blood tests the first time and was convinced that I had MS/als or other degenerative thing. Massage on my upper back and neck really helped. I had 3 before I felt much better.:)
Thanx for the answer. Just to make sure...it lasted for months and it was always there? Never going away completely? Because in my case although sometimes feels better, never goes away completely.
I work all the time in front of a computer and my posture is not good, so issues with the spine are likely...however my HA is screaming MS :(
Is your leg or arm constantly on your mind?
Chances of you having ppms is not 90 id say prob 10% if that not to say you dont but judging by the amount of tests you have already had you wont believe until you have been tested then will probably not believe the tests and keep searching.
A little weakness and bladder problems does not really scream MS to me and from previous posts your weakness is more physchological rather then a real weakness.
Just relax go on holiday dont bother yourself with internet for a while and see how you feel then you can go get as many tests as you want but just believe the doctors and stop searching
Thanx for the answer...for the first few weeks it was all the time in my mind...couldn't stop thinking of it. For the last month or so, I've been doing better, not actively thinking over it all the time, but still it's always in the back of my mind...
while it is still there in the back of your mind and you are talking about it then u will always feel it there that is your first call you can do MRI etc but i really think the Holiday will be a good time for you just to relax and chill out take some days away from anything dont use technology just have a good time and see how things go.
You can search all day long get tests but sometimes you just need to stop take a break and it can often be the medicine u have needed
I know that you're right...but it's so damn difficult not to think about it. Regarding the holidays I was waiting for them...but today woke up feeling low and anxiety kicked in. Now the holidays are making me anxious...thinking of "bad scenarios" while in holiday :(
Trust me i do know the feeling i know its all anxiety due to the way things happen but i still cant shake it off its like sometimes i do it on purpose who knows why as it all came on so quick but when i was away i was free happy no issues.
Its a long hard struggle but the more u believe its anxiety the more u can go about healing yourself as it is such a difficult horrible thing.
Trust me go on that holida
Thanx for the support...I have no problem trusting the doctors and after the checks for heart, kidneys and liver I don't worry about them. However with this neurological issues I have a hard time accepting it as anxiety. One reason is that I haven't done any specific neuro tests. Bug IF IF somehow neuro tests will come back normal, it would be a really HUGE HUGE relief.
Well i hope you get that relief soon.
Anxiety so closely mimics neuro issues that it is the 1 that can always stick around. I pray you get that relief soon
Thanx a lot for all your support. It's highly appreciated.
I've kind of lost hope that neuro checks will come back normal...but on the other hand before my full checkup I was 100% sure something bad will show up...and nothing did. This gives me a ray of hope...
hi Matrix. Was all the time and sometimes worse or better. After my first massage I was really conscious that I was always sitting in a really bad postition with my shoulders constantly hunched and tense. Trying to be more aware of my body tension now and doing pilates which has been great too.
Thanx sunshine...it's the same with me...it's all the time, but sometimes much better than others.
Regarding the sitting I know that mine it's not good, but don't know if that's the reason for the left side weakness...
Just a quick update...today got the test for catecholamines and everything was OK. Next in the list are:
1. Thyroid hormones (TSH, T3, T4)
2. Basic metabolic panel (perfshin Sodium, Potassium, Chloride, Bicarbonate, Blood urea nitrogen, Creatinine, Glucose, Calcium)
3. Magnesium
4. Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D
There is no need to worry this much about MS , You are still able to live to your full age and have a good quality of life, you may need crutches to walk but i wouldn't lose sleep over the thought :)
I've learned a lot lately about MS and it's not as scary as I thought...in most cases you can work normally for 15-20 years after onset and later on probably end up in a wheel chair. Of course there are lot's of issues when you have MS like pain, incontinence, etc...but it's not the worst thing either.
However with HA you jump up to worst case scenarios and I'm starting to worry about ALS. I read today that the chance to get ALS before the age of 40 is about 1 in 15 million or in other words only about 400 people in the World get ALS before 40, but still I cannot get the though out of my head...
Got some more test results:
- Thyroids OK (TSH a bit low due to stress/anxiety)
- Electrolytes OK
- Magnesium OK
- Vitamin B12 OK
Now waiting on results for vitamin D and next in list is glucose tolerance test.
After them the "scary" part begins...with neuro appointements and possibly MRI.
Keep us updated on the results :)
Vitamin D came back normal also. Now time to test glucose tolerance...
Hello everyone after relatively a long time. I have been feeling better and haven't been much here. However since I promised to keep this post updated, I will do so :)
Even though I've been better in general, I still have ongoing issues and probably will continue to do so in the near future. However let's start with the good stuff:
Since starting more than 1 year ago I've reduced the Escitalopram dosage from 20 mg/day to 5 mg/day
At the same time I've reduced Xanax from 1mg/day to 0.125 mg/day (to me Xanax has been a huge help)
Now I have a normal life and able to enjoy it most of the time.
Thinking rationally, it's more than 1 year and no symptom has gone noticeably worse, which makes me think that nothing very nasty is going on.
On the minus side:
Some symptoms are persisting and include weak feeling mostly on the left leg, IBS symptoms, lightheadedness, etc
On the background I still think that something is wrong, but I'm not actively thinking about it
It seems that my peripheral vision on the right side is not good. I cannot measure it, but combined with the headaches I get mostly on the right side, I'm afraid of something nasty.
Below I will try to asses myself again for the things I listed initially.
- Kidney failure. All tests have come back normal including urine, blood, a few echos, pyelography. After the last echo, the doc told my the kidneys (and abdomen in general) are perfect. Aug-12 update: Not worried too much, but still a bit afraid that Diabetes may do something bad
- Heart failure. All tests have come back normal (heart echo, ECK, holter monitor).Aug-12 update: Sometimes my blood pressure it's high (130-140 with 100-90) so kind of afraid that Diabetes may harm it
- Liver failure. All test have come back normal (blood, echo)Aug-12 update: Not worried anymore
- Diabetes. Fasting glucose came back normal (although in the high range). Have bought a glucose test kit and will do some tests myself to check for glucose tolerance. I suspect I may be pre-diabetic.Aug-12 update: Haven't done the test yet, but I'm kind of convinced that my glucose it's high. It may still be pre-diabetic and I should REALLY check it (I hope to to it in september)
- Stomach or colon. Haven't done any specific tests yet. Strangely I'm not so worried about it. Probably it's IBS.Aug-12 update: Not really worried, I think it's IBS
- Neurological issues. Right now I'm convinced something is wrong (because weakness in my left side, bladder issues). My self diagnosis is: 90% PPMS, 9% BT, 0.9% ALS, 0.1% something benign.Aug-12 update: It's still the biggest concern, although not actively thinking about it. However the percentages now look like: 50% mild MS, 10% BT, 30% something benign, 10% just anxiety
Well fast forward 4 years since the original post and here it's an update after my latest checkup.
- Kidney failure. All tests have come back normal including urine, blood, a few echos, pyelography. After the last echo, the doc told my the kidneys (and abdomen in general) are perfect.
Aug-12 update: Not worried too much, but still a bit afraid that Diabetes may do something bad
Nov-16 update: Everything is fine with kidneys...only some crystals which is nothing to worry about.
- Heart failure. All tests have come back normal (heart echo, ECK, holter monitor).
Aug-12 update: Sometimes my blood pressure it's high (130-140 with 100-90) so kind of afraid that Diabetes may harm it.
Nov-16 update: Again, everything is normal. Blood pressure normal.
- Liver failure. All test have come back normal (blood, echo)
Aug-12 update: Not worried anymore.
Nov-16 update: All values normal.
- Diabetes. Fasting glucose came back normal (although in the high range). Have bought a glucose test kit and will do some tests myself to check for glucose tolerance. I suspect I may be pre-diabetic.
Aug-12 update: Haven't done the test yet, but I'm kind of convinced that my glucose it's high. It may still be pre-diabetic and I should REALLY check it (I hope to to it in september)
Nov-16: Definitely no diabetes. Last check was 91, pretty normal.
- Stomach or colon. Haven't done any specific tests yet. Strangely I'm not so worried about it. Probably it's IBS.Aug-12 update: Not really worried, I think it's IBS.
Nov-16 update: No specific check was done, but I don't think there's anything serious...just some IBS.
- Neurological issues. Right now I'm convinced something is wrong (because weakness in my left side, bladder issues). My self diagnosis is: 90% PPMS, 9% BT, 0.9% ALS, 0.1% something benign.Aug-12 update: It's still the biggest concern, although not actively thinking about it. However the percentages now look like: 50% mild MS, 10% BT, 30% something benign, 10% just anxiety
Nov-16 update: This is the last remaining worry...I haven't done any test, but after almost 5 years the chances should be low for MS or BT. If it's MS it must be very mild because I haven't had any worsening. If it's BT must me very slow growing and not spreading anywhere else. So even if there's something bad, it has has chance to be managed.
I hope this will serve other to see that even thought I was "sure" of a lot of things, I have been proven wrong....
BadCompany
21-12-21, 17:26
I know it's been years but any new updates....thanks
Everything is fine, although I'm not doing great with anxiety currently (no meds, got out 8-9 months ago).
- Kidney -> no issues
- Heart -> no issues
- Liver -> no issues
- Diabetes -> no issues
- Stomach/color -> probably IBS sometimes
- Neurological -> those are still lingering, but nothing is getting worse, so I don't think is anything bad
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