Dave238
11-08-12, 18:22
And am now psyching up for a shower. or just gonna stick my fingers in my ears and go lalallalalalalala while my body goes through the motions.
I'm suffering from depression and anxiety apparently. All I know is that life is ridiculously tough, even just brushing my teeth, or how the fact that i will always have to wash my dishes over and over again after each use makes me want to cry.
Or I wake up with a sense of dread which never dissipates for long. How the people thumping around like elephants in the house upstairs sends shocks through my chest, little adrenaline rushes, and i freeze in terror each time, sometimes multiple times in less than 5 minutes.
Done a lot of therapy over last 4 years, and now have those tools, examining thoughts to see if they are objectively real or based on faulty evidence, etc etc etc, but knowing and feeling are two different things.
For the last two been trying medications, now on 40mg of fluoxetine (Prozac baby!) in the morning, 100mg of trazadone in the evening, propranolol as needed, and all of this doesn't even touch the sides. I might as well be popping skittles.
Also a recovering alcoholic, been sober almost 4 years, no relapses thank ****. went to treatment 4 years ago, thats when the therapy started.
I just wanted to connect with others, try and dispel some of this isolation and reach out.
Gonna go have a shower now. its just a shower. 10min only. step in, hot water, feels good, shampoo, soap, then out, dry, and put on clothes. easy peasy. Yet i am scared. and tense. and anxious. and it feels like such an effort.
Not glad that I have this shit going on, but grateful there appears to be a place to come and share about it.
D
I'm suffering from depression and anxiety apparently. All I know is that life is ridiculously tough, even just brushing my teeth, or how the fact that i will always have to wash my dishes over and over again after each use makes me want to cry.
Or I wake up with a sense of dread which never dissipates for long. How the people thumping around like elephants in the house upstairs sends shocks through my chest, little adrenaline rushes, and i freeze in terror each time, sometimes multiple times in less than 5 minutes.
Done a lot of therapy over last 4 years, and now have those tools, examining thoughts to see if they are objectively real or based on faulty evidence, etc etc etc, but knowing and feeling are two different things.
For the last two been trying medications, now on 40mg of fluoxetine (Prozac baby!) in the morning, 100mg of trazadone in the evening, propranolol as needed, and all of this doesn't even touch the sides. I might as well be popping skittles.
Also a recovering alcoholic, been sober almost 4 years, no relapses thank ****. went to treatment 4 years ago, thats when the therapy started.
I just wanted to connect with others, try and dispel some of this isolation and reach out.
Gonna go have a shower now. its just a shower. 10min only. step in, hot water, feels good, shampoo, soap, then out, dry, and put on clothes. easy peasy. Yet i am scared. and tense. and anxious. and it feels like such an effort.
Not glad that I have this shit going on, but grateful there appears to be a place to come and share about it.
D