Feeling so exhausted/high's & lows.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi

was talking to my cbt therapist, she told me to write it all down and work through it. the next time I see my cbt therapist I have the info ready to go onto 3 mind maps. She knew something was wrong when I spoke to her on the phone. she could tell. here goes.

am suppose to recognize when going from a high to a low and being in-between. for some reason, I didn't notice. to have a look at what happened what may have caused it. and anything else that causing me problems.


right now I feel alright, after resting for couple of days again.

can get so weak, exhausted. don't know what part of it is bi-polar or not. (not sure).


I got all muddled, then started to go down the spirally slop, felt so tired, was not refreshed when waking up. was more tired when woke up.

Felt so exhausted, so burnt out, my whole body was in agony, the pain was terrible. (any time in the past of being burnt out, dont get the pain with it).

I couldn't understand it what was causing me to feel so exhausted. I kept pushing myself to do my voluntary work.

but had to in the end take time off. to get well again. pushed myself to the limits. when started to climb out of the pit, well that's what I think it was a depression pit, started to feel better, however left with sore aching joints at my elbows and shoulders and whole arms are sore. when the pain covers the whole arms its so draining.

now that part I don't think is bi-polar.

the first part is, the muddled, going into a depression pit, but I didn't feel depressed. (could have been depressed, that's what cbt therapist says)

I've been exhausted before, burnt out, but not left with sore arms. gee my arms are weak as it is, don't need this on top of it. (was born with a form of weakness in my arms and legs). this on top of it, not right.

there something I can no longer do, though I still make my arm do it, just so darn sore to do so. its disabling.

I was the one that suggested to cbt therapist we do 3 mind maps, this helps to see what could have happened. I like to write it down before going to cbt therapy, then when I've got it mind mapped can take it to the drs, cause I'll have a clear picture of what I want to tell my gp.

---------- Post added at 19:41 ---------- Previous post was at 19:30 ----------

Now that I've written down what how I felt, and still feel at times exhausted. now to work out what caused it to start.

I know that I took on something more than I can cope with. just need to find out what that was. I thought it was one thing, until I thought about something else. gee, seems I took on more than I thought I took on. just need to work out what it was. which caused me to get muddled etc...

[BobbyDog]

So sorry Yvonne, I do hope you start to feel better soon.:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

So sorry Yvonne, I do hope you start to feel better soon.:bighug1:

Thank you Bobbydog, for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

my wee light bulb just went on, to see it finally written down, I know what caused me to go down the slipper slop. I went from rwa which was once a month to doing serving at lunch club once a week for reaching out to older adults. I felt weak while working there. gosh. with all the other things I added on top of that, didn't help. now I know that type of career not for me. over and above my credit union which is twice a week.

[BobbyDog]

Thank you Bobbydog, for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

my wee light bulb just went on, to see it finally written down, I know what caused me to go down the slipper slop. I went from rwa which was once a month to doing serving at lunch club once a week for reaching out to older adults. I felt weak while working there. gosh. with all the other things I added on top of that, didn't help. now I know that type of career not for me. over and above my credit union which is twice a week.

I think you need to slow down a little, let your body and brain catch up with you.

take care of yourself.:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Bobbydog,

Thanks for your kind words, maybe your right. though, part of the day feel alright, then all of a sudden feel so exhausted and drained which is so painful. need to make the appointment with my gp.

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Yvonne are you on mood stabilisers for your bipolar? These drugs can definitely slow you down? I am on lithium and this slows me down sometimes. There isn't much you can do about this but try to eat healthily and sleep. EJ

[yvonne_uk_98]

ElizabethJane,

yes on flupentixol, it only helps with keeping my mood stable, the part were I go to the extremes, my libido, helps to keeps that low at times.

with this exhausting feeling and the pain is horrible. never had pain with being exhausted before. usually get the drained feeling, no pain with it. this is a nightmare.

---------- Post added at 22:17 ---------- Previous post was at 20:17 ----------

went for asleep, woke up with the phone ringing, it was my sister, she home from work. wanted to know did I get up on time this morning, no slept in, and still made it to my friends to pick up my soap powder for 180 washes. my sister asked when did I leave hers, round about 10am. had to be in Renfrew for 9am, was so tired. when got to Renfrew at my friends, she wanted me to go in to her house, oh no couldn't, didn't have the energy to do so. all wanted to do was go home and rest.

got home then rested for a while. then had to go and get my shopping. when got home, was so tired out.

feel bit better than earlier. though still sore and drained. going to phone gp tomorrow, hopefully I'll get up in time to phone. I better not sleep in tomorrow, my son goes back to school, got credit union. hopefully no sleep in.

[yvonne_uk_98]

my son woke me up an hour early to make sure I would be up, bless him for that. I was extremely tired this morning took me whole hour and half to waken up, would usually take an hour for me to wake up. felt so drained this morning, now feel little better. still drained, didn't manage to phone drs, as we left the house before 8.30am, the gp I would like to see is on Mon,wed & thurs, phone then.

started my mind mapping, so far done 2, maybe only need 2. need to talk to cbt therapist. going to give her a call.

[yvonne_uk_98]

My cbt therapy appointment been brought forward for tomorrow at 3pm, thank goodness for that.

started to make a list of what I'm going to drop of what I took on last. going to go back to rwa, not as a committee member, this way not to take on too much, going to ask If I can continue to keep the website up to date and check the emails, as I do all this from home. it much easier.

that's what am into. part of my interests.

my name is on the waiting list to helping people move on in their life's, its something I'm good at.

I love helping people.

[Serenitie]

Be kind to yourself and look after yourself as well as you take care of others :hugs: I hope that your CBT appointment goes well tomorrow :)

[yvonne_uk_98]

Be kind to yourself and look after yourself as well as you take care of others :hugs: I hope that your CBT appointment goes well tomorrow :)

Hi Serenitie,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

I hope my appointment goes well too, I forgot to take my printed sheet with me, going to take some notes now. at credit union. I hope I don't forget to go, and not go into automated pilot.



feel a little better today, I was talking to someone who managed to help me take my mind off the pain and exhausting feeling. it really helped a lot.

my friend asked me some questions last night, I was able to tell him, that been having racing thoughts, my at first I couldn't even remember what it was called, took me a while to explain what i meant, when he says your having racing thoughts. gosh I forgot that was what you called it. so exhausted that I couldn't think straight. what a difference he made and with his help and support, I started to feel a bit better. another thing to put on my list.

---------- Post added at 13:13 ---------- Previous post was at 10:44 ----------

feeling not too good and so exhausted, wish I could feel a lot better. got my appointment this afternoon.

[blue moon]

Hello Yvonne
Hope your appointment goes well x,I think you need some time out slow down a little and rest,your health is important too.
Love Petra xx:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hello Yvonne
Hope your appointment goes well x,I think you need some time out slow down a little and rest,your health is important too.
Love Petra xx:hugs:

Hi Petra,

thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, my cbt appointment was good today. we talked about what went wrong, and what I could change and I asked to join the interview group, cause I can take time off from credit union to do the interview day, I was interested, when the email arrived. there were other training opportunity I've decided to not do them got enough on my plate. only going to do the interview day. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel little bit better, after Friday, was so exhausted, got all emotional, wanted to give up, just the way I felt. got my studies today, I thought I had slept in, got plenty of time until class starts. still so tired, could sleep. might sleep in for class need to stay awake. not getting to sleep at night, takes a while to get over, it dont matter how tired I feel.

---------- Post added at 11:49 ---------- Previous post was at 10:54 ----------

starting to feel so exhausted again. wish this would pass.

[Serenitie]

I'm glad to hear that your CBT appointment went well, Yvonne :) Why not try to do something nice for yourself today like a bubble bath to ease your tension and give your body some much needed pampering and relaxation? :hugs: x

[yvonne_uk_98]

I'm glad to hear that your CBT appointment went well, Yvonne :) Why not try to do something nice for yourself today like a bubble bath to ease your tension and give your body some much needed pampering and relaxation? :hugs: x

Thank you for your kind words Serenitie, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

going to have a shower, bath out of the question for me, too dangerous.

im taking it easy this evening, as I went from feeling bit better to feeling exhausted and had to cut my shopping trip short.

dont have any energy left for anything. after a little rest, hopefully have a shower before bed. need energy to have my shower.

[BobbyDog]

Take care Yvonne, I am thinking of you and looking forward to a little banter at the weekend, even if it is only a catch up.:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Take care Yvonne, I am thinking of you and looking forward to a little banter at the weekend, even if it is only a catch up.:bighug1:

Hi Bobbydog,

thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. feel bit better today, though bit sore. was exhausted after washing my hair this morning, took it easy before 9.30 am, then left for credit union, and there road works on the route that I would have came to credit union, I decided to go the way I would take my son to school, long way for a short cut. got there in time, that was important.

on of my bosses asked where you driving from, I say Linwood, he says my that's a fair bit to travel. maybe next time he wont complain or give me that look could kill look.:ohmy:

hope you have great week.

[yvonne_uk_98]

:ohmy: when I got home, was expecting to be home for the night, no, my son asked If I could drop him off at his friends, i asked what one? he says one in Kilbarchan, oh that one, sure. had to push myself, went and drove him to his friends, and I let him know that Im not feeling too great, I says if I get some energy later on, text me I'll let you know if I can come and pick ya up.

After resting for little while, I then went to pick up my son from his friends, on the way back I started to feel so drained and weak. glad now to be home, no one else is getting a lift this evening. I'm in for the night too tired and exhausted to do anything.

not got anything on tomorrow thank goodness, can take it easy and do my homework, i did some of it today. going to do the rest tomorrow. and rest once its done.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel a bit better today, seem to have picked up abit, though still feel exhausted, but not as bad as yesterday.

just finished my homework, that it ready for tonight's class.

going to play a game or two take my mind of things.

[Dave238]

skyrim is great for that, i've logged a lot of hours on it in the last few weeks!

[yvonne_uk_98]

skyrim is great for that, i've logged a lot of hours on it in the last few weeks!

Hi Dave,

checked out skyrim, not my kind of game. thanks very much appreciated thanks.

[yvonne_uk_98]

still feeling exhausted, though not as bad I felt on Tuesday and the rest of the weeks before. going to see my gp today. let you know how it goes.

plus upto now, been getting two days max were I feel bit better, than it would go back to being fully exhausted. here hoping I'm gonna get passed this horrible feeling, pain etc...

[yvonne_uk_98]

Been to see my gp, she let me know that im going to feel this way for another few weeks, then should start to pick up more by then. that i've to take it easy. thought to go and see her in two weeks time. to let her know how things are going. got a double appointment with her.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel bit better today, thankgoodness managed to get past that 2 days. on 3rd good day. seem to be on the mend.

was at my cbt therapy today, it was a good session, found out today that rwa are happy that I've change my mind about leaving. and I've got a meeting on tuesday 4pm to do the accounts now its a better system. plus on the interview panel on thursday, I'm looking forward to it. something different to do. plus women & children first women group start up before my group dose, going to go along for bit of support. the womens group going to be doing arts & crafts, another thing Im into. got 3 things to look forward too.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel a bit better today. so far things are going good. taking it easy. got busy week ahead of me. though got credit union tueday and wednesday morning, then thursday got the interviews. then back at my sisters for the weekend. let you know how each day goes. try not to over do it.

[anxiousannie21]

Good on you for being so motiviated!:yesyes: Try not too over think things and give your self a HUGE pat on the back! x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Good on you for being so motiviated!:yesyes: Try not too over think things and give your self a HUGE pat on the back! x

Anxiousannie21,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

---------- Post added at 12:54 ---------- Previous post was at 12:49 ----------

feel bit better today, got my studying to do today. now in week 11 of the academy of my hebrew learning, I've applied to do the course again, need more practice on the hebrew. plus give me more of an understanding of what i've learned so far.

looking forward to doing it all again. will be worth it. plus got an interview with one of the elders with my church. only get that after completing the academy. got one more week to go and it will be finished, plus the exam. i hope I pass the exam. need to pass the exam for the interview.

getting a cold, just as long as my nose dont get blocked, i'll be alright. need to be able to breath, just means canny take inhalers if nose gets blocked.

one thing after the other. other than that im alright.

[JT69]

Hi Yvonne,

Sorry you have been having a bit of a rough time of it lately...pleased that you sound to be coming out the other side!! We always do eventually but it can seem such a slog when going through it!!

Sending you hugs and hoping you recover real soon.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Take care of you.

Jo.x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Yvonne,

Sorry you have been having a bit of a rough time of it lately...pleased that you sound to be coming out the other side!! We always do eventually but it can seem such a slog when going through it!!

Sending you hugs and hoping you recover real soon.:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Take care of you.

Jo.x

Hi Jo,

thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.

How are you? hope your doing well. :hugs:

[JT69]

Hi Yvonne,

Yes am not too bad at the moment (though I hate saying that cos you never know)...I am just struggling with arthritis in my right knee and awaiting mri scan results which I get on 3rd Sept to see extent of damage and what can be done.

Hope you feel better soon hun.:)

Jo.x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Yvonne,

Yes am not too bad at the moment (though I hate saying that cos you never know)...I am just struggling with arthritis in my right knee and awaiting mri scan results which I get on 3rd Sept to see extent of damage and what can be done.

Hope you feel better soon hun.:)

Jo.x

Hi Jo,

Sorry to hear you have arthritis in your right knee. Keep me posted on what your results are. hope you dont have too much pain with your knee. :hugs:

Yvonne x

---------- Post added at 11:55 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------

feel a bit better again today, my asthma is causing me problems. which is draining after a little exercise. going home today, all those stairs to climb, my and that long corridor to walk along. oh well guess thats the way the cookie crumbles.

dont need this on top of trying to get better. I wonder if the landlord's got a house on the ground, wouldnt need to climb all thoses stairs. ya think I would be used to it by now.

guess better get ready to go home.

[blue moon]

:hugs:For you Yvonne xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Thank you Petra, very much appreciate thanks. :hugs:

back home now. my was so puffed out when I got in. had to rest and catch my breath. after rested I went put a washing on. had to go upstairs to get some stuff to put in washing machine. after that was so puffed. rest of clothes are at the foot of the washing machine. will do that load once the first load is done.

just been printing off my study notes, and downloading the video's that I can watch later.

got credit union tomorrow and a meeting tomorrow.

[BobbyDog]

Thank you Petra, very much appreciate thanks. :hugs:

back home now. my was so puffed out when I got in. had to rest and catch my breath. after rested I went put a washing on. had to go upstairs to get some stuff to put in washing machine. after that was so puffed. rest of clothes are at the foot of the washing machine. will do that load once the first load is done.

just been printing off my study notes, and downloading the video's that I can watch later.

got credit union tomorrow and a meeting tomorrow.

You make sure that you don't wear yourself out Yvonne, take some time out, sit down and relax.

take care
Sarah.:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Bobbydog,

I am resting, taking it easy. had to do a washing, had no clothes left. thanks for your kind words and encouragements, thanks. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

slept in this morning, no electricity, feel numb, easily puffed out. at credit union sitting here, just started my homework, and in-between serving customers. taking it easy. my teenagers no have electricity until after 6pm.

[yvonne_uk_98]

after credit union, i went home to give my children electricity, I was so exhausted after climbing the stairs. I could sit down, I had a meeting to go to, I went to the meeting, though had to park my car in the usual place long walk from the meeting. glad I got a lift to my car when meeting finished.

so exhausted now, sore to breath. no wonder with today so puffed out.

taking it easy now. got credit union tomorrow and going to my sisters. I'll rest for a while at my sisters before coming home.

so tired now. feel like going for a sleep. try and stay awake until bed time. wont be long.

[johnielov]

:ohmy: that was terrible, I hope you can cope up to all the things that your going through right now... I get exhausted too but not to the point something that you experience..I really pray that you'd be alright. :hugs:

[BobbyDog]

after credit union, i went home to give my children electricity, I was so exhausted after climbing the stairs. I could sit down, I had a meeting to go to, I went to the meeting, though had to park my car in the usual place long walk from the meeting. glad I got a lift to my car when meeting finished.

so exhausted now, sore to breath. no wonder with today so puffed out.

taking it easy now. got credit union tomorrow and going to my sisters. I'll rest for a while at my sisters before coming home.

so tired now. feel like going for a sleep. try and stay awake until bed time. wont be long.

Is it possible that you may have a virus Yvonne?:hugs:

[Magic]

Yvonne,
I honestly don't know how you manage.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

:ohmy: that was terrible, I hope you can cope up to all the things that your going through right now... I get exhausted too but not to the point something that you experience..I really pray that you'd be alright. :hugs:

Johnielov,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs: I'm recovering from being totally exhausted, I know im on the mend from that, that exhausting was part of my bi-polar. this is my asthma being affected by the weather.


Is it possible that you may have a virus Yvonne?:hugs:

Bobbydog,

this time may have picked up a virus plus due to the weather being muggie that's when my asthma gets bad. :hugs:



Yvonne,
I honestly don't know how you manage.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Magic,

I manage by resting in between all that going on. at credit union, i'm at the front desk, as cashier, im sitting. at my meetings we sit and talk. and discuss what the next few months plans are and who will take on what is required. if I can use what I know, use my book keeping skills, secretary skills etc... and keep a website upto date from home, then its all manageable. the meetings are only once a month. credit union is 2 days a week 8 hours in total for credit union. once a month meeting which is 2 hours. i'm not allowed to go above that. as I know I dont cope with more than that. except when my highs go out of control, then I take on more than I can cope with.

thats what happened when I became so exhausted. im back to my 10 hours in total that including 2 hours meetings once a month.

plus my womens group I go to on a friday and my cbt therapy on a friday. I keep my appointments like drs, etc..

when my high went out of control, I didnt notice it. and its been a long time since that has happened. I had been doing really well until then.

thank you for your hugs, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

---------- Post added at 13:45 ---------- Previous post was at 13:40 ----------

went to credit union this morning, met new trainee, I was training the trainee up on up dating members account books. showing her what to do,then allowing her to try it for herself. I went to my sisters this morning, now at home. going to take it easy the rest of today. got the interview panel tomorrow looking forward to it. let ya know how it goes tomorrow.

[yvonne_uk_98]

the interviewing day was so good, even though I couldnt go far for lunch, so they got someone to go and get lunch and bring back to the office. it was really good, each candidate gave good presentation. I gave my feelings and understanding of each candidate. I think I know who will get offered the job. the panel was asked to go back the next time they are interviewing again.

it was a good day. once we were finished, I had to walk to same parking place, and had to stop and start serveral times.

so puffed. so tired.

going to have an early night.

[yvonne_uk_98]

need to go to see my gp before thursday. getting worse, now taken 10 puffs of inhaler. now relaxing until I have to move like going to bed or ladiesroom. nightmare.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to cbt therapy, we talked about yesterday how it went, then we talked about my highs and lows and remembered what we talked about last week. then we talked about avoiding things, avoiding people's reaction etc... something to work on, she gave me homework to do, need to phone her and ask her what was it again, I've to do. I've forgotten what she says.

then went for lunch at my friends house, then went to see dr king, he asked me how things were, I let him know, i'm in a high, and he says your gonna take a nose dive, gosh, just climbed out of one. cant win.

[Magic]

I know sending you hugs won't help Yvonne:hugs::hugs::hugs:, but sending them anyway,:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

hi Magic,

thank you for your hugs, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

was in my high, then one of my teenagers says something, next thing I knew was feeling so low. today I've been feeling so crap, wish dr king didnt remind me what came after my highs. got to climb out of this feeling. someone says something, all i want to do is cry, so awful.

anything can start me off, so horrible. trying to lift my mood, don't like this feeling.

need to fight this and climb out of it, hope I can climb to a normalish feeling. somewhere in-between a high and low, would be good to feel somewhat alright.

even though still puffed out.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had to miss some of bible class today, thank goodness its recorded so I can catch up with what I missed. got an upset tummy today. one thing after another. :lac:

[Anxious_gal]

Wow you do sound very busy. I don't know how you manage it all!
I get mild asthma in winter/cold air. It gives me coughing fits and it's hard to catch my breath,makes my chest very tight too.
I'm not sure what regular asthma is like, but it must be horriable to feel out of breath.
I know if you're very bad, that nebuliser machine can help.

What's a bible class? Is it like a group thing you have at your church?

Anyways I hope you get a good nights sleep at least.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Wow you do sound very busy. I don't know how you manage it all!
I get mild asthma in winter/cold air. It gives me coughing fits and it's hard to catch my breath,makes my chest very tight too.
I'm not sure what regular asthma is like, but it must be horriable to feel out of breath.
I know if you're very bad, that nebuliser machine can help.

What's a bible class? Is it like a group thing you have at your church?

Anyways I hope you get a good nights sleep at least.

Hi anxious_gal,

thank you for your kind words, my asthma comes in muggie weather, and cold weather, and can get very bad, sometimes so server its horrible. just had an attack coming up the stairs.

my bible class is in a church group online. and its to do with bible history and hebrew language.

i've only got that spacer for my asthma and my inhalers, if so bad, then its the hospital.

so far though puffed and exhausted, taking my inhalers helps just wish was not so exhausted.

plus I too get the coughing fits, I dont like them.
:hugs:

---------- Post added at 19:11 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------

been taking it easy, then went shopping became exhausted, drained feeling sick. then my asthma started, with coughing fits and finding it hard to breath. then had asthma attack coming up the stairs carrying the shopping and my neighbour helped me up the stairs.

[yvonne_uk_98]

oh my computer would not work this morning, had to go back to time before, now it working. at credit union, brought my homework with me, no questions to be answered, need to wait until they send the questions. feel kind of silly now brought it with me. though can read and study as need to know it all for next week. I hope its an open book.

my asthma not so bad so far. here hoping will be good today.

[yvonne_uk_98]

woke up during the night was burning up, then fell back to sleep woke up early this morning. took my son to school then went for long drive. manage to go long drive, it was good, gave me such a boost. think am on the mend. still have asthma problems, not as bad as they were. I can get up the first flight of stairs without being breathless, that good and can go all the way down the stairs without being breathless that's an improvement. thank goodness for that.


now got a leak in the house, phoned landlord this morning, he is on holiday, be back this evening, so need to wait until tomorrow, lets hope the leak don't get worse.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had good night sleep, best sleep in ages. felt refreshed. drove my son to school. then had to go home and wait on my landlord, however he thought it was my daughter, then realized it was for myself. I aint got nobody above me, no wonder I didn't get why did he think he could go up the stairs, when its my bedrooms that are up the stairs. quite funny.

still get out of breath, improving a little at a time.

getting there slowly.

now to wait on landlord coming after 4pm, landlord says it cause of shower getting put in, council have not sealed the bath properly.

now in credit union, then going to see my gp today. let you know how it goes at gp.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to see my gp, she was bit concerned about me today. and wants me to make another appointment to see my cbt thearpist. will do on Monday, as cbt therapist not availble tomorrow. I did something out of character. part of by bi-polar.

[yvonne_uk_98]

my landlord coming this morning to fix the leak. thankgoodness can have a shower after its fixed. the council didnt seal the bath properly. which is causing the leak. terrible. have to wait until the seal is alright and ready for having a shower.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel bit better today. got my exam for my bible study class go until wednesday to submit it. looking forward to doing it, and its an open book and 100 questions to answer. let you know how it goes.

still get out of breath, taking my inhalers. going to start my studying this evening no class that give me extra time on studying.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel bit breathless this morning, and going home, had good weekend. need to get some shopping in, before go home, go to asda and get some shopping.

[yvonne_uk_98]

starting to feel exhausted again, got exam this evening. will take my time and get through it. as I don't have the time to do it tomorrow. got to have it in by Wednesday.

[yvonne_uk_98]

didn't do my exam last night was too tired, was falling asleep. going to do it after credit union today as this be when I'll get peace to do it.

hopefully be home before 3pm start exam, its for 3 hours, I know most of the answers and some i'll have to check my notes for.

feel bit better today.

[yvonne_uk_98]

just completed my exam, fingers crossed, hope I pass. hope I've done well. some answers I knew without looking up, and some had to check, thank goodness it was an open book. now need to wait.

[sunshine1]

good luck Yvonne! Hope you can get a rest now.
x

[yvonne_uk_98]

good luck Yvonne! Hope you can get a rest now.
x

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:

got my results, I got 78 percent out of 100, really good, would have got more if only I had not got mixed up last night on what line I was on, in the questions. put my answer in the wrong box. there's always next time round. :D

I'm pleased with my score. the last lot of questions I guessed and got them all correct. cause time was running out. and knew some of them.

it was good, got my certificate this morning. and my booklet. my name is in the class for advance lessons which starts in a couple of weeks. looking forward to it.

can rest for couple of weeks.

feel bit better today, and receiving my results has lifted my mood.

going to go to asda, need new shower curtain, never seen those hooks on the curtains before, dont know how to get them off the old curtain, never mind put them on the new one.

need to get a bulb for bathroom, better check to see what kind of bulb I'll need, wish the whole house could be the bulb through out.

[BobbyDog]

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:

got my results, I got 78 percent out of 100, really good, would have got more if only I had not got mixed up last night on what line I was on, in the questions. put my answer in the wrong box. there's always next time round. :D

I'm pleased with my score. the last lot of questions I guessed and got them all correct. cause time was running out. and knew some of them.

it was good, got my certificate this morning. and my booklet. my name is in the class for advance lessons which starts in a couple of weeks. looking forward to it.

can rest for couple of weeks.

feel bit better today, and receiving my results has lifted my mood.

going to go to asda, need new shower curtain, never seen those hooks on the curtains before, dont know how to get them off the old curtain, never mind put them on the new one.

need to get a bulb for bathroom, better check to see what kind of bulb I'll need, wish the whole house could be the bulb through out.

Very well done Yvonne, I had faith in you.
A little time to chill out now.:yesyes:

[yvonne_uk_98]

thank you Bobbydog for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks.

yapath= beautiful. once I find out what other hebrew word I'll use, i'll change my user name.

been to asda, as soon as I step into asda, ended up with earache, feeling so sick, just managed to get what I went in for. now feel so exhausted, going to go for a lye down once I catch my breath back.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel bit better today. at credit union until 12 noon, then got meeting at 1pm to 3pm, then got another meeting at 3pm. then make an appointment with my cbt thearpist, she is taking two weeks annual leave, so wont see her for about 3 weeks that includes this week.

my cbt therapist says when after the meetings she will set up dates of 6 weeks appointments so that I'll have them in my diary.

got busy day.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel puffed today, going to my new womens group, were be doing arts & crafts. start at 9.30 am.

let you know how it goes.

[yvonne_uk_98]

my arts & craft group was really good. looking forward to going to it in two weeks time. as next week is school holiday. got a picture to finish. it was good learning.

going away for the weekend. going to take it easy.

[yvonne_uk_98]

woke up this morning, feeling so low and crap, felt so sick. wish was at home, felt very low on energy. though sabbath class was really good. glad I listened to elder on the radio, to really get what today's class was about. learned alot.

going to bed, still dont feel too great.

[yvonne_uk_98]

at home, feel little bit better today. going out with my women's group, going to see, will let ya know when I know. ya think I would have remembered what my group booked.

going to let my group know that I wont be coming to the group no more, as I joined new women's group, the art & craft group.

[yvonne_uk_98]

just back, we went to see sister act, we were at the top, in the balcony. my to me it was not worth that climb of all thoses stairs, I felt was not going to make it to the top. was so puffed and exhausted, plus took my inhalers, just felt they didnt help one bit. I didnt enjoy the evening at all. though glad to be at home.

though was at the back and the top of the theatre, I didnt make out what they were singing at all, all manage to see was them moving about the stage.

at least enjoyed first part of the evening, we had a good meal. good chat. not all of my evening was not bad. so blessed to have good friends.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to credit union today, at first couldnt sign in, then I remembered if problems to go through my computer to get to sign in. managed that. then had a good day at credit union, then went done my shopping, when I got home, no one was in, i had to take a few bags up the stairs, each time i had to stop and rest, got so puffed and exhausted. on my last round of bags, my youngest son came home from school he helped me up the stairs with the last load of shopping bags.

i was so exhausted and puffed out from going up and down the stairs to and fro to the car with shopping bags.

was hoping for a bit of a long lie in tomorrow, nope my daughter wants me to take her to the dentist. then to work. guess I'll get that long lie another day.

hope i dont get out of breath tomorrow. its so horrible. getting to the stage feel that my inhaler dont work.

[HypnosWisher]

Keep on trucking yvonne. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Keep on trucking yvonne. :hugs:

Mike,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:


feel bit better, was not out of breath as was yesterday. taking it easy today. waiting on my son coming home from college to take him to breahead shops, I might look in evans to see if I can get a coat or jacket, really need one. dont have one.

plus need to remember where park the car. so huge breahead shoppping centre. :ohmy:

[yvonne_uk_98]

slept in this morning, dropped twin number 1 off at drs, dropped youngest son off at school and just made it in time for credit union.

going to my sisters after credit union, but need to go home first and get my laptop. gee, if I had got up early would have it all done.

this computer went down, here hoping it will last the day. and not go down anymore.

so tired, went to breahead yesterday to Evans, to get a coat, couldnt they have put zips in the duffle coats, usually just buttons. my have they made them small. gosh. had to come home and look online for a duffle coat. found one, now to wait on it coming through the post.

wish they would still make the duffle coats without zips. never knew a duffle coat to have zips in it. really terrible, now got to wait another few days for my new duffle coat to come through the post. hope it don't get any colder and my cardigan will just have to do for bit longer.

---------- Post added at 11:00 ---------- Previous post was at 10:59 ----------

sometimes I call my twins by number 1 or 2, cause sometimes its easier. to say. I know who they are, Frank & Charlene.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel little better today, though my asthma causing me problems. still to read the info I got on esa. guess I'll need to stay in next week and wait for phone call from dss. to be at home all week, hope I manage to get through the week being at home. I dont know when they are going to phone. though will make an appointment to see my gp. cant stand it being in the house. need to phone the shop of alterations to see if my sons shirt is ready, I keep forgetting to phone.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had a flash back from my past, my grandad abused me, when I was 2 years old, my flash back is of a time when I was 5 to 7 years old and about 10 to 12 years old. When I was 5 to 7 years old, I remember going to the drs because it was so sore to go to the toilet to do number 1. it hurt so much. the dr did tests and could not find any reason for such painful hurt. I remember what happened and explains why my grandad was up at our place so much. not going into detail. though I did get used to the pain, was not as painful as it was.

When I was about 10 to 12 years old, I remember asking my granddad about his private part wanted to know why he didnt do what he did in the bedroom in the living room in front of my parents, my granddad told me that it was not allowed to happen. oh my, gosh, I had forgotten all about this, I knew of the pain that it caused, I didn't remember saying or asking him. guess I've only remembered this part due to the worry of the esa.

sorry for ranting.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so low and crap, my anxiety is way to pot right now, causing me to feel sick with it. worrying about the change over to esa, and to apply for child tax credits. plus got some flash backs. which is so horrible. plus right now, had a partner he was not very supportive, he thought I didnt care, just cause I got to wait in on phone call coming from dwp about esa, I dont know what day they are phoning.

he cut me off last night. I think he was being insensitive. all because I say I'd pick him up after I get the phone call and not before it. he was suppose to be coming through to me. we both agreed due to his health he could come through today, but he changed his mind and asked me to pick him up, then says Im not there for him in his hour off need. I suggest he phone 24nhs, and first crisis. no he didnt want to. not a lot I can do when he not willing to help himself.

rant over about him. now to wait on letter from samaratins, as I emailed them last night, as I was worried too much. couldnt sleep. I've answered the email, wont get an answer until tomorrow.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so low today, my partner emailed with an apology. I phoned dwp, they say got to wait on phone call, and could take up to 3 weeks to get the call. and not to worry, that's easier says than done. not them that their benefit changing.

im going out, feel so sick with it all. I know we all go through this change over, I dont cope well with changes.

I didnt expect them to do it when no longer getting for my daughter. thats a double thing to me it is.

rant over.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had problems with my internet, was going slow, this snap.do kept appearing on my browser, kepts slowing my computer down. I never downloaded it. found out it was a virus, had to get help to remove it, as stopped me from downloading class videos which I need with learning.

got a tool to remove snap.do. cause manually removing it was a nightmare.

hopefully this is it. finally removed.

feel so numb.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so exhausted, I thought this exhausting feeling was gone, been so exhausted, asthma causing me problems, then this worry about changing over to esa, plus flash backs.

the samaratians have been very supportive in allowing me to talk about the memory its very painful one. each day I remember more, now got an appointment to see one of the counselors at women & children 1st.

no wonder I dont like being at home, I'm out every day. I now know why I dont like being at home. its so horrible, to think that what happened long time ago, affects how I think today. now I know why I still blamed myself for it. I knew my grand dad came up a awful lot, I couldnt remember why he came up an awful lot, I was talking to my sister about it. she says that explains why grand dad came up an awful lot. she always wondered why. now she knows. she was so shocked. sorry feel so low. need to do something else. to take my mind of it.

---------- Post added at 12:52 ---------- Previous post was at 10:57 ----------

find it hard to concentrate, need my concentration, as at credit union. soon be home time, got walk round to car, will be out of breath when I get there. wish could walk round there not get out of breath.

[Serenitie]

Yvonne, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. Have you had counselling to work through these difficult memories and experiences and your feelings surrounding them? EMDR therapy is often used now to desensitise such memories. I would also recommend Louise L Hay audio meditations and affirmations.

You are not alone in these painful experiences. People you trusted have hurt you enough. Try to let go of this pain in whatever ways help you and do not let these experiences and memories crush your spirit.

You are a strong, brave, caring woman who gives so much to others. Give something back to yourself. Find the peace that you deserve and be kind to yourself.

Much love and huge hugs to you :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Thank you Serenitie, for your kind & encouraging words, very much appreciated, thanks.:hugs:

got my appointment for counseling this thursday. got my womens group this friday. something to look forward too.

feel so low. wish I could climb out of this low.

[Serenitie]

Great things to look forward to, Yvonne. Counselling and your women's group will help. You will get out of this low...you are doing all of the right things to move forward. Wishing only the best of everything comes your way. I look forward to hearing your progress :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Great things to look forward to, Yvonne. Counselling and your women's group will help. You will get out of this low...you are doing all of the right things to move forward. Wishing only the best of everything comes your way. I look forward to hearing your progress :hugs:


Serenitie,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

was suppose to fast and pray this eveing until tomorrow evening, got to be in the right frame of mind to do so, guess, i'll just fast, use it as a practice run, cause im not in the right frame of mind to fast and pray.

next holy day, i'll hopefully be in a better place to do it.

---------- Post added at 22:53 ---------- Previous post was at 20:56 ----------

loosing my concentration, cannot focus long enough. wish I could feel bit better. going to make an appointment with my gp, and ask her if she call dr king to bring my appointment forward. not coping with all this. sorry.

[Serenitie]

I have lit a candle for you this evening Yvonne. Keep asking for the help and support you need to get through this difficult time. You will get through this. You are in my thoughts :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

I have lit a candle for you this evening Yvonne. Keep asking for the help and support you need to get through this difficult time. You will get through this. You are in my thoughts :hugs:

Serenitie,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated, and lighting a candle for me, that so lovely, thank you.

got an appointment with my gp for monday at 9am. I slept in this morning to phone. glad the receptionist didnt make me phone again tomorrow morning. my mood lifted a little last night.

now I can make a list of things I need to tell her. and write it down.

got some homework to do, hope I can stay focused long enough to complete it, I left it until today to do. I should have started it on sunday evening, I would have just finished it by today.

need to go and get some drench, get it from B & m's, as they sell it much cheaper.

I feel so numb, not looking forward to going to the shop, to get out of breath, wonder if its all worth it.

its really weird, the way I felt so low, and yet went into a high last night, I didnt want the high, its not like me, I usually enjoy my highs.

[yvonne_uk_98]

received two emails from samartians they have been great support, they says the will continue to support me through this rough time. got my appointment with counselor tomorrow, my asthma really bad, dont know how I'm gonna get there with being so breathless. and the pain just too much. feel so numb right now. having nightmares. just dont know how much more I can take of this.

trying to fight this battle of horrible thoughts, they are to me, and these flash backs. my emotions are all over the place, one minute im alright, the next I'm feeling so low.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feeling numb, phone drs got an appointment today, a double appointment for 4.30pm, had to move my counselling appoint to 12 noon today. my asthma is bad, everything is so crap. so exhausted. at credit union on here for 1 hour and 1/2. hopefully I feel bit better after counseling.

[JT69]

Hi Yvonne

Sorry to hear you are going through such a horrible time....sending you hugs and positive thoughts for better times ahead...keep going girl...you will come through.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Jo.xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Yvonne

Sorry to hear you are going through such a horrible time....sending you hugs and positive thoughts for better times ahead...keep going girl...you will come through.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Jo.xx

Hi Jo,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated, thanks.:hugs:

How are you? hope you have good day today.


my counseling session went well, got some advice, to phone advice works for some support with the change in benefits. was able to talk about my flash backs, what to do, to get me through to next week. some of the advice given is the advice I give to help people on here.

you kind of forget when it comes to yourself. the advice you give out can be of use to yourself too.

though I do, do some of it already.

just feel like everything is up in the aire, just got the drs this afternoon. let you know how that goes.

[kittikat]

Hi Yvonne,

Sorry to hear how you have been feeling hun. I hope that you get thruogh this low period and can move forward to a better place.

You are always so kind and giving to others, time to think of yourself for a change.

Sending you big hugs :bighug1: and lots of love & positive thoughts, Kitti :flowers:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi Yvonne,

Sorry to hear how you have been feeling hun. I hope that you get thruogh this low period and can move forward to a better place.

You are always so kind and giving to others, time to think of yourself for a change.

Sending you big hugs :bighug1: and lots of love & positive thoughts, Kitti :flowers:


Hi kitti,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:


went to see counselor today, it went well, was able to talk about my past, though felt so emotional, still feel its my fault, and I know its not.

it was like the jigsaw was nearly complete, there is still bits missing. that Ive not remembered. I thought I had dealt with all the horrible painful parts of my past, guess not.

feel so numb this evening.

seen my gp today, she gave me another inhaler with spacer for my asthma, which helped a lot. got a viral infection. plus she gave me the first crisis number again, to let them know. to help me keep myself safe.

as finding this very stressful with the change of benefits, and the flash backs. my gp not happy with the government, she tried to put my mind at ease. she also going to phone dr king to bring my appointment forward.

I hope I can climb out of this low. beinging to feel that I dont care, and part of me still cares. its horrible. dont want to be like this. this is so stressful.

sorry.

[Serenitie]

Hi Yvonne,

It is good to hear that you are being so proactive in seeking support and working through your issues at such a difficult and distressing time for you. What strength of character you are showing! I have every faith that you will come through this period much stronger and with the peace of mind that you deserve.

This jigsaw may have missing pieces that never will or need to be found. The mind has an amazing ability to 'lose' or 'forget' things that are too painful to remember. Your mind does this to protect you. You are working with what you do remember which is important for your recovery. Try not to be distracted by missing 'pieces' or 'details'.

I notice that you often apologise at the end of your posts. NEVER apologise for expressing your feelings. You have a voice and feelings and just as much right to express yourself and be heard as anyone else.

You are in my thoughts. Be kind to yourself and keep up the great work you are doing :hugs: xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Serenitie,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks.

I have a habit of saying sorry at the end when Im feeling so low, as I feel so bad for feeling so low, feel im to blame. sorry.

[sunshine1]

oh Yvonne, so sorry to hear that you are having such a rotten time. I am going to pray for you. Get plenty of rest. You must feel so frustrated with all this. Perhaps the viral infection has been having an impact on how yu are feeling - not just physically. look after yourself. x
:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

oh Yvonne, so sorry to hear that you are having such a rotten time. I am going to pray for you. Get plenty of rest. You must feel so frustrated with all this. Perhaps the viral infection has been having an impact on how yu are feeling - not just physically. look after yourself. x
:bighug1:

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind & encouraging words, very much aprpeciated, thanks. :hugs:

today has been an emotional day today, this morning I slept in, took my son to school late, whent to my womens group, and let them know that I've got enough on my plate right now, going to go to the arts & craft group where there is no pressure. I let them know I just feel so pressured at group. getting to the stage go out of my road to avoid going. my group were supportive and says the door will always be open. and that they dont want to loose touch, they want me to go out with them for next night out, I says I'll go.

two of the women were away on holiday, one gave me a guardian angel with a love heart on it. and the other women gave me a bracelet, was nice to get some gifts. after group took my son to the opticians, then we had to go back later.

just feel so low. going to phone first crisis, as im going to my sisters this weekend. but got a lot to take with me, my bible, study book note book and weekend bag.

so tired, I could just go to sleep. got to try and keep myself safe.

sorry.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

had a good sabbath, though still feel so low, learned a lot from sabbath class. answered some of my prayers.

would be good to feel good again. managed to put my flash back to the side for a little bit. and prayed about the change over of benefits.

---------- Post added at 20:19 ---------- Previous post was at 19:58 ----------

losing interest, not got enough concentration, though enjoyed class today, my mind kept wondering. at least can download it and watch later.

my anxiety is going, feel sick.

[sunshine1]

Glad today was a little better, well done for getting out and about. Hope tomorrow is better again. x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind & couraging words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

---------- Post added at 03:26 ---------- Previous post was at 00:25 ----------

just found something else out this evening, why do things have to get worse and add to my problems. how on earth am I gonna lift my mood. how much worse can things get. what a nightmare. feel sick about it. :mad:

[fozzy is crying]

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind & couraging words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

---------- Post added at 03:26 ---------- Previous post was at 00:25 ----------

just found something else out this evening, why do things have to get worse and add to my problems. how on earth am I gonna lift my mood. how much worse can things get. what a nightmare. feel sick about it. :mad:


Awe :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

PM this silly stupid old sod of a bear any time for a very good listener and helper I hope

[yvonne_uk_98]

Awe :bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

PM this silly stupid old sod of a bear any time for a very good listener and
helper I hope

Fozzy,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

you have helped to cheer me up this evening. thank you.

[fozzy is crying]

Fozzy,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

you have helped to cheer me up this evening. thank you.

No need to ever thank me. But do it again and you might have a new problem lol

Gordon [aka the Bear]

[yvonne_uk_98]

No need to ever thank me. But do it again and you might have a new problem lol

Gordon [aka the Bear]

Oh dear a problem on my hands, need to see about that...lol

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel numb today, still manage to keep my flash backs to one side.

phoned first crisis, cause I feel bit better, first crisis and I agreed to phone them if in need again. i've still got samartiians giveing me support. first crisis says that I have nothing to worry about with my benefits. thats easier says than done, the dss at this end have a bad habit of cutting you off with no benefits when they do change overs. no matter how easy its suppose to be. I dont trust them one bit. they have done it to me serveral times in the past and without fail. it a worry.

(and especially when you got to fill in a form. suppose to have a some time to fill form in and get it back and they stop your benefit the next day, after saying one thing in letter and do the complete opposite of stopping benefits. )
thats a nigthmare.

woke up with coughing again. hopefully will not cough too much today.

got bible class in an hour going to get signed in and ready for class.

hope my mood lifts. I probably feel bit better after I know that there is money to put food on the table. tomorrow, need to wait and see.

---------- Post added at 13:13 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------

was feeling very low yesterday, and felt like doing something silly, now got to answer the questions for samaratians, gosh, though my mood lifted a little, reading that does not make me feel good about it. feel so bad to think that way, it gets overwhelming. its a constant battle. though Fozzy helped to lift my mood last night, I appreciate that. best I better answer the questions about, not going to say, I dont want to pull anyone else down. sorry.

---------- Post added at 13:30 ---------- Previous post was at 13:13 ----------

sent my email off, feel emotional. need to try and focus on class, only got 30 minutes before class. going to try and lift my mood.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had good lesson at class today. now in feast of tabernacles,not got anything prepared for it. still learning. right now not in the mood. going to try even though feel crap.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so low this morning, now home. got some downloading to do. need to check to see what I need to print. still waiting on phone call from dss/dwp. feel so tired, was so puffed when I got to the top of those stairs, when I got in, I started coughing again.

need to phone gp, and cancel this mornings appointment got one on thursday. got meeting on wednesday and cbt thearpy appointment.

need to arrange an time to go and up date the accounts for rwa.

life dont seem worth it. sorry.

---------- Post added at 11:11 ---------- Previous post was at 08:28 ----------

received phone call from dss/dwp, now to wait on form coming through, got upto 2 weeks to wait and was told got upto 4 weeks to fill the form in. I hope they dont do what they normally do here when they send me a form. I dont trust them.

[yvonne_uk_98]

just been food shopping, had to stop cause of my asthma got real bad. had to get my son to finish the shopping. then we went home, my son took most of the bags up the stairs. so exhausted & tired.

[yvonne_uk_98]

at credit union, feeling alright, every time go through to back office, get little out of breath. taking it easy. that's lunch time, having a break. got an email to answer. managed to play some games last night I was so determined to play them no matter how crap I feel. I played the very boring game, that I used to play long time ago, right now I can not focus long enough to play a more adventurousness game. I usually play a more challenging game. right now dont feel that way to play. got to be a basic game right now.


feel so exhausted, I'll let dr know about it. see my gp on Thursday after credit union.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to my cbt therapist today, we talked about my flash back, so emotional, still am, we are going to work through this for the next few weeks. I want to be able to get over it. plus we talked about my benefit changing. if I need help and support she can transfer me to another worker who deals with that side of things.

after my appointment, I didn't want to come home to climb those stairs and walk along that long corridor, be out of breath, was bad enough today just going four steps at a time and being so out of breath and using my inhaler right now feel all shaky side affect of inhaler. go to see my gp tomorrow.

[sunshine1]

sorry that you are still feeling rotten, Yvonne. Can't really think of anything helpful to say. Big Hugs. x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sunshine1,

Thank your for your hugs, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

not feeling too great, my asthma keeps getting worse. feels as its went into my chest. see my gp today. so exhausted. at credit union got gp after. then go home, think I'll stay at home this weekend. was going to my sisters. at least only need to climb those stairs tonight and tomorrow too. need to get a disability badge.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going into hospital, I can not take this anymore, its all too much. the asthma, flash back and the whole benefit change. im so exhausted. sorry

[sunshine1]

oh Yvonne, am really sorry. you must be feeling terrible. Big hugs hope you feel better soon. xxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sunshine1,

thank you for your kind words and hugs, very much appreciated.

drs sent me home to my sisters, says this will keep me safe, im going home tomorrow to get my laptop but if I need to go through this again, I can do again tomorrow.

[kittikat]

Thinking of you Yvonne and sending you lots of love and big hugs. I really hope you feel better soon :hugs:

Kitti :flowers: :bighug1: xxxxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi kitti,

Thank you for your kind words and hugs. very much appreciated thanks.

feeling exhausted after being out, as had to go to the council to apply for the blue badge. I phone the shop mobility place and they met me in the two, got a scooter for a couple of hours. it was good to get around a bit faster.

now back at my sisters and going to rest this evening and staying here the whole weekend.

taking it easy this weekend. my emotions are all over the place. wish I could be better again. I dont like this so sore to walk, so sore to breath. its horrible.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so exhausted, been resting today, every time I move I get out of breath, and so exhausted. it hurts to breath. wish I could be better. its awful this horrible feeling of in pain when ever I move, and can hardly breath. its a nightmare. now know how my dad felt. horrible.

hope everyone having a good weekend. I've decided to stay with my sister until I can manage the stairs. until then, here at my sisters. its bad enough going up stairs for the toilet, never mind going up 3 flight of stairs just to get home. too exhausting and painful.

with this dont have time to worry about my mood. with my highs & lows, i'm too exhausted.

---------- Post added 07-10-12 at 00:31 ---------- Previous post was 06-10-12 at 22:05 ----------

going to go to the hospital to go and get checked, my peak flow is so close to 320. thats worrying me. I propably get kept in. as I can not walk far.

---------- Post added at 02:39 ---------- Previous post was at 00:31 ----------

back at my sisters, dr gave me antibiotics, i have a chest infection. gosh that explains why im so sore, canny walk far.

[yvonne_uk_98]

first crisis phone to check how im doing, let them know I'm feel so crap with my asthma not helping any. I dread going up stairs to the toilet. at least its only one flight of stairs to climb. its a nightmare. want to get better. wish it was like yesterday. it will take time.

[yvonne_uk_98]

need to go and see my gp tomorrow, I still think need to go in to hospital, or just be an outpatient, I need more support than this. this is horrible. just got worse again. what a night mare.

[Anxious_gal]

Sorry to hear about your asthma, I have very mild asthma and the cold weather makes it worse, so I do get a bit scared if I am outside too long as it's harder to breathe.

I hate when my chest feels tight, I notice the difference between asthma or chest infection tightness versus just chest tightness from anxiety.

I don't really have any advice to offer, but do go back to the hospital if you need to.
Sorry you aren't getting as much support as you need, it can be very frustrating.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sorry to hear about your asthma, I have very mild asthma and the cold weather makes it worse, so I do get a bit scared if I am outside too long as it's harder to breathe.

I hate when my chest feels tight, I notice the difference between asthma or chest infection tightness versus just chest tightness from anxiety.

I don't really have any advice to offer, but do go back to the hospital if you need to.
Sorry you aren't getting as much support as you need, it can be very frustrating.

Anxious_gal,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks.:hugs:

Im waiting on the dr giving me a call, as I need a referral to the hospital, I go through the referral, I got to the part that deals with blood clots and asthma. my inhalers are not working. I've got more worse.

I'm not feeling too great at all. my mental health is not good either, and the normal hospital dont care about your mental health. feel so low and crap. this is not helping any.

if I get to go into hospital, I can not get to this website through my mobile.

all I can do from my mobile is emails.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to see my gp, she gave me another stronger inhaler, and let me know that I dont have a blood clot, its just my severe asthma and chest infection.

so fed up with hardly able to breath. its so sore.

got my appointment tomorrow to get my esa form filled in, and what time I'm available for medical appointment. dont know how gonna get to it. as I'm so exhausted just walking a couple of steps. my asthma has got worse.

[yvonne_uk_98]

my new inhaler seems to have started to work, and the antibotics have started to kick in and work. this morning when I woke up at 4am, I was still so exhausted, and cried so much fell asleep again.

when I woke up at 8.45am this morning took me all my time to get up, had to climb the stairs to the toilet i was so puffed and exhausted, when coming back down the stairs I notice though out of breath, was not as bad as before. guess the antibiotics have kicked in, and my new inhaler is working.

feel little better this morning. hope it wont be long to feeling totally better. what a change, a difference. though my mood is still low. first work on getting better with my asthma, then I'll work on my mental health.

[kittikat]

Aww, good to hear the antibiotics are kicking in Yvonne, this will help a lot. I hope your new inhaler does the job too.

I'm sure your overall mood will improve once you start to feel better.

Thinking of you and sending you big hugs and lots of positive thoughts :bighug1: Kitti xx :flowers: :hugs: :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Aww, good to hear the antibiotics are kicking in Yvonne, this will help a lot. I hope your new inhaler does the job too.

I'm sure your overall mood will improve once you start to feel better.

Thinking of you and sending you big hugs and lots of positive thoughts :bighug1: Kitti xx :flowers: :hugs: :hugs:

Kittikat,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, its good to be able to sit and not feel breathless. thanks for the hugs. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel exhausted, just have to wait and get better, going to take time. just need to find things that will lift my mood.

i've been excersing my arms and legs even though I can not move far without being in such pain to breath.

taking it easy. miss being out of the house. so tired, cant win, I'm grateful for my sister, she has been a wonderful sister.

my teenagers keep asking how long is this gonna take for me to get better. that is something I can not put a time limit on. I have no idea when I'll be better and back home.

just keep in contact with my teenage children over the phone or text them.

so tired not getting a great sleep at night, cried myself to sleep again early this morning. I phoned 24nhs about my right leg swelling again. they says to wait and see my own gp just to get pain killers.

all I want is to go and get check to make sure there's no blood clot.

going to go for a sleep, so tired and exhausted. right now feel theres no point in all of this. just the way am feeling right now. sorry.

[Magic]

Yvonne,
So sorry you are feeling so poorly. I hope the visit to the drs puts your mind at rest
about your leg:hugs::hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Magic,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:my gp was not on today, I could have took another dr, I prefer the one I know, saves me telling the whole story all over again. best seeing the one you know. going to get up early tomorrow and phone to see my gp.

[sunshine1]

aw sorry you are not feeling any better. :( xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

aw sorry you are not feeling any better. :( xxx

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

I didnt manage to make my appointment this morning. I noticed a little of improvement this morning, while going up the stairs to toilet, I was still out of breath, but was not so bad. my right leg was a bit better, as I was able to walk down the stairs bit better this morning. I'm still out of breath walking short distance and very painful still. its a small improvement. this tells me im on the mend,, Im getting better, very slowly.

I'm going to go to my womens group tomorrow, to get out of the house for a short while, I will take my time, as it will be so sore to walk with the pain of being breathless.

ive been resting all week. my new inhaler & antibiotics are working. thank goodness for that. I'm just gonna leave the drs, as now know I'm getting better slowly. dr hallem did say this will take a long while to get better.

its still an effort to climb the stairs, im getting there.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went for a shower what an effort it was, was so puffed, took my time. now I know what my dad meant that shower causing you to get out of breath. my he was so right too. I believed my dad. just didnt know how much. now squeeky clean. back down the stairs catching my breath back. just so exhausted. wish I could stop coughing.

had a bad headache earlier, went for a sleep, which helped.

going to go to my group tomorrow, a change from being stuck in. felt like I got worse this afternoon. suppose that's the way its gonna be, get better a little, get worse, get better a little. I will get there just gonna take some time.

cried myself to sleep earlier.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to my womens group this morning, it was so tiring walking and getting out of breath. then went to see dr king, he says that I've to put his name down on my form and dr corfields name down too. I never heard him swear like that, those ****** that run the government. dr king has increased my meds and to see him in 4 weeks time.

I feel so exhausted, I couldn't park so close to the door this time, had to park further away. it was so tiring and exhausting. glad to be back at my sisters

back to taking it easy.

[yvonne_uk_98]

taking it easy today, just got up to turn the light on, I fell, hurt my right leg, now more sore, and im so puffed. wish I could stop coughing. ya walk to turn light on, get out of breath and wheezy, then coughing starts its a night mare. hurts to breath. wish I could get better. need my peak flow to improve past 350. cant seem to go past 350 and that is with using of inhalers. they are suppose to help improve yer peak flow, mines not moved up any. my very best peak flow is 500. 350 is not far from 320. not good at all.

going to make that appointment to see my gp on monday. see If I can get something that will work and open my airways.

guess just have to be puffed the rest of the weekend.

feel so exhausted and out of breath. If I get worse, not phone 24nhs, will go straight to the a & e department.

[yvonne_uk_98]

slept in today, just made it in time for bible study class. on a break thought come and up date here.

feel so tired and exhausted, and breathless. it was a struggle to get up the stairs to the bathroom. still find the stairs a struggle, at least that is only one flight of stairs. not 3. still at my sisters.

my peak flow is improving is small steps its a start, my goal is to 400, dont like being in the 300 zone. feels like you only got a limit of air to breath. took me ages to get to sleep last night.

got an appointment on Wednesday, i phoned and asked if I can park on the disabled space as I dont have a blue badge. and can not walk far, I need to park in the disabled space so that I have less to walk. I am allowed due to ill health. praise most high for that.

[yvonne_uk_98]

not feeling great this evening. going to my bed. hope I get up tomorrow in time to make an appointment with my gp.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going to try again and get up on time to make an appointment with my gp tomorrow.

feel so exhausted and tired.

[yvonne_uk_98]

got an appointment with my gp today was at 3ish. I asked dr about a nebuliser, she says to make an appointment with the nurse to be assessed for nebuliser and then make another appointment with her, then she will write an report to be sent to the asthma clinic at the hospital and it there that I'll go through another assessment for an nubuliser. if they think I need one, then I get one.

got an appointment for the nurse on the 5 November. dr suggested that I start looking for another place to live on the ground floor. I not got the energy to start packing. need to get housing applications forms all over again. wish I had kept my name on the list.

with my leg, there no clot and that too gonna take time to get better. I got a lovely home, and now need to go look else where. think I look for something closer to paisley. what a nightmare. I just got a new shower too. why now.

asked my son to look out my walking stick, as I really need it. will pick up my walking stick tomorrow.

[BobbyDog]

got an appointment with my gp today was at 3ish. I asked dr about a nebuliser, she says to make an appointment with the nurse to be assessed for nebuliser and then make another appointment with her, then she will write an report to be sent to the asthma clinic at the hospital and it there that I'll go through another assessment for an nubuliser. if they think I need one, then I get one.

got an appointment for the nurse on the 5 November. dr suggested that I start looking for another place to live on the ground floor. I not got the energy to start packing. need to get housing applications forms all over again. wish I had kept my name on the list.

with my leg, there no clot and that too gonna take time to get better. I got a lovely home, and now need to go look else where. think I look for something closer to paisley. what a nightmare. I just got a new shower too. why now.

asked my son to look out my walking stick, as I really need it. will pick up my walking stick tomorrow.

I am thinking of you Yvonne and really hope things start to pick up very soon, you are a fighter and you will get through this.xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Thank you bobbydog for your kind words very much appreciated, thanks.

I went out today, picked up my son and took him to pick up his shirt. then went to meet my friends we went for a meal, then had a good laugh. after that, I drove my son home, then I went back to my sisters. I had to park right at the gate of my sisters house. much better, no need to climb the hill and be totally puffed out.

dont always get that space at her drive way. usually the neighbours have it.

so tired and exhausted. I did take it easy when I was out and about, plus I had my walking stick with me, which helped a lot. went to b & m's and a shop assistant helped me to the car, he carried my shopping bags.

[yvonne_uk_98]

canceled my appointment for help with writing my health statement, started to not feel too good today. a while later, I still went out to pick up my boys and take them for lunch to hamishes hoose, they had a great time. though my son frank was a bit annoyed that am not well. he says that I shouldnt have asked the dr for nebuliser. that would be the last thing that he ever wants to be on. what else is there that will open my airways to help me breath better.

he says it my fault for being this way. I never picked this illness, it runs in the family. what is he expecting of me to just keep pushing myself.

I was pushing myself. i had to rest, why cant he understand that. there comes a time when you just have to rest. i dont think he want me to get worse. he started to say that i'm like this all the time.

really, i reminded him, if I was like this all the time, we wouldnt have been able to go shopping together and do the whole shopping. sorry just feel need to rant today.

[Harley]

Hi Yvonne, sorry that you are not feeling too good today, I know how exhausted anxiety can make you feel. You dont say how old your children are. Sometimes I think it is because they find it hard to accept that their mum is not well. None of my children understood and at times could be very unkind to me. This hurt as no matter how awful I felt I would still take them where they wanted to go and do everything for them. Only people who have suffered anxiety can know just how hard the most simple, every day, things in life are to do They were totally against me taking any sort of drugs. They did not like me contacting helplines or asking friends for help. But despite everything, the whole experience has made them stronger as people. They have since apologised to me for, in their words, "being so harsh on me". Two of my daughters suffer from anxiety themselves, and my daughters' husband has been through periods in his life when he has had to rely on antidepressents. Try not to worry too much. I am sure it is because they find it hard to accept you like this. You are their Mum, and mums are not supposed to ever be ill.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Harley,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks.

my son Frank is 19 years old. my youngest son Adrian is 15, he is more understanding than his older brother. he has only seen two people use nebulisers and they both have passed away. I let my son know that his grand dad passed away because of cancer nothing to do with the nebuliser. and with the elderly lady, was due to her illness nothing to do with the nebuliser. I tried to explain that every one gets out of breath going up and down stairs, but not like that, not like being so exhausted and puffed out due to asthma. that I have been put on a stronger inhaler. Something has to get me past 350 in my peak flow. 350 is so close to 320, I dont like being in the 300's zone in the peak flow. I try not to worry about it. its a worry when it gets so close to 320. my good days of peak flow are 500. i've not to let it get below 320. here hoping tonight my peak flow will be above 350.

plus trying to keep in control of my mood too. I hope I get some sleep tonight.

[yvonne_uk_98]

felt little better today. though my peak flow still low. I hope by this feeling a little better, though I still get out of breath. have good days, guess this is a good day today. hope I continue to get better.

still got the cough, hopefully the cough will go, I can get to go back home.

[BobbyDog]

felt little better today. though my peak flow still low. I hope by this feeling a little better, though I still get out of breath. have good days, guess this is a good day today. hope I continue to get better.

still got the cough, hopefully the cough will go, I can get to go back home.



You are in my thoughts Yvonne.:hugs:

[Magic]

Yvonne
You are such a kind considerate person. I have said this before--:hugs: I honestly
don't know how you cope!!!!
Harley is quite right about our children. The same thing happened in our family.
I guess as they get older they will realise, and understand--they may have children
of there own one day then they will understand--- oh heck I keep repeating myself
sorry,
Take Care x

[yvonne_uk_98]

You are in my thoughts Yvonne.:hugs:

Bobbydog,

thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated,thanks.:hugs:


Yvonne
You are such a kind considerate person. I have said this before--:hugs: I honestly
don't know how you cope!!!!
Harley is quite right about our children. The same thing happened in our family.
I guess as they get older they will realise, and understand--they may have children
of there own one day then they will understand--- oh heck I keep repeating myself
sorry,
Take Care x

Magic,

Thank you for your kind & encouraging words very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:

Harley,

I meant to agree with you, cause you are right about our children. at the particular time I wrote, was still annoyed at my son. teenagers think they know it. yes one day they will understand.

as for me.

yesterday I though I didn't need the nebuliser, until before going to bed, I was so shocked at my peak flow were it got to below 320. I was relieved when after inhalers it had moved to 350, never thought it would get that low. I couldn't get enough puff to blow the needle to 350, never mind 320. thank goodness its starting to get near to 400.

right now I dont feel too good, feel so sick. my nose is beginning to get stuffed up, canny have that a stuffed up nose, means canny take inhalers. today I feel like as if I have been walking and the pain going through my body. I'm not going anywhere, and sitting here for bible class. I'm in agony.

it hurts to breath. what a nightmare.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going to get my esa form filled in today, I feel so sick, guess my anxiety is away to pot right now. so close to the appointment. need to go and get ready to go and meet the advice works person. got my health statement too. let you know how it goes.

[sunshine1]

Yvonne, sorry that you are still feeling rotten. Maybe your anxiety will be bit better when the ESA stuff is out the way? x

[yvonne_uk_98]

Yvonne, sorry that you are still feeling rotten. Maybe your anxiety will be bit better when the ESA stuff is out the way? x

sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

the advice worker was very nice, she asked the questions and explained the ones that I didnt quite understand. I asked if I could ask for her next time and she says, yes I can. that makes it a bit easier, plus my cbt therapist was there too, thank goodness she was there. help really did.

got all geared up for my appointment. the advice worker is going to send the form away. that something less to worry about.

now its the waiting on what will happen next.

got a rough idea.

right now not feeling too great. probably my anxiety, need to take my mind of things.

[sunshine1]

Play some games on here. Try to get plenty of rest too. You must be exhauseted.
x

[yvonne_uk_98]

thats what I've been doing playing games on here, yes so exhausted.

thanks for your kind words sunshine1, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

[Zingything]

Yvonne :bighug1:

I'm sorry you're not so good. Try and get some sleep, you might feel a bit better in the morning. Sending you a big hug.
Zings xxxxxxxxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Thank you Zingy, for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

went to see my cbt therapist, and we were talking about Agoraphobia, I had no idea what I was talking about had a label.

we talked about one time I got off the bus and all of a sudden I felt everything was closing in on me. I was outside wide open space. all I could do was go into the nearest shop, felt much worse, I stayed in the shop until it passed.

plus also had problems going on a bus, if the bus is crowded, I would avoid going on. then one day had no choice but to get on a crowded bus, had to get off again at the next stop. one of my friends suggested that I could phone them, if it helped to get me from a to b. over a few months I would phone my friend and talk to her all the way through my journey until I got to where I was going.

and sometimes I would let her know can not take it anymore had to get off the bus. I managed through her help to overcome that fear.

I still have problems at times getting out the front door, once out, I'm alright. plus I dont go to new places without having someone with me. I wont venture out.

only got to places where I know to go.

I have over come some of the issues. I know where it all stems from. certain things in my past. and some of them i'm still working on overcoming.

thats what my session today was about.

right now I dont feel too good, and feel exhausted.

feel so sick. wish I could get rid of this feeling.

[Zingything]

Poor Yvonne, it's no wonder you're feeling so exhausted having to take in so much. It's mentally draining I know. Can you go and watch a bit of television to take your mind off it for now?
Haven't you got a good friend who chats to you while you are on the bus. What a good idea. Did you manage to get to where you were going that day?
Keep going Yvonne, you're doing really well.
Love Zings xxx

[BobbyDog]

Thank you Zingy, for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

went to see my cbt therapist, and we were talking about Agoraphobia, I had no idea what I was talking about had a label.

we talked about one time I got off the bus and all of a sudden I felt everything was closing in on me. I was outside wide open space. all I could do was go into the nearest shop, felt much worse, I stayed in the shop until it passed.

plus also had problems going on a bus, if the bus is crowded, I would avoid going on. then one day had no choice but to get on a crowded bus, had to get off again at the next stop. one of my friends suggested that I could phone them, if it helped to get me from a to b. over a few months I would phone my friend and talk to her all the way through my journey until I got to where I was going.

and sometimes I would let her know can not take it anymore had to get off the bus. I managed through her help to overcome that fear.

I still have problems at times getting out the front door, once out, I'm alright. plus I dont go to new places without having someone with me. I wont venture out.

only got to places where I know to go.

I have over come some of the issues. I know where it all stems from. certain things in my past. and some of them i'm still working on overcoming.

thats what my session today was about.

right now I dont feel too good, and feel exhausted.

feel so sick. wish I could get rid of this feeling.

Hi Yvonne,
Talking about the things that cause our anxiety/panic brings all those negative feelings to the surface and heightens our anxiety, speaking from personal experience. Hopefully after a good nights sleep you will feel a little less tense. I know your asthma will only exacerbate your anxiety, but you are a tough lady Yvonne and will pull through.

Sarah.xxxx:bighug1:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Poor Yvonne, it's no wonder you're feeling so exhausted having to take in so much. It's mentally draining I know. Can you go and watch a bit of television to take your mind off it for now?
Haven't you got a good friend who chats to you while you are on the bus. What a good idea. Did you manage to get to where you were going that day?
Keep going Yvonne, you're doing really well.
Love Zings xxx

Zingy,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

no television. did go and play some games. yes she was a good friend. she still is a good friend, she dont live here in scotland anymore. yes I did manage to get to where I was going that day. had to do it over 2 buses, as I ended up getting off the bus in panic and took a while to calm down, then go on the next bus. when it only takes one bus to get there.

now these days I can get on a bus and if its crowded, I know nothing going to happen. its amazing how something from the past can have such an affect on ya to the present day. I'm still working on some issues to do with crowds of people. I'm getting there.




Hi Yvonne,
Talking about the things that cause our anxiety/panic brings all those negative feelings to the surface and heightens our anxiety, speaking from personal experience. Hopefully after a good nights sleep you will feel a little less tense. I know your asthma will only exacerbate your anxiety, but you are a tough lady Yvonne and will pull through.

Sarah.xxxx:bighug1:

Sarah,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

my cbt therapist and I started to talk on something else, ended up talking about certain things, it was something she says, triggered my memory of being outside and feeling closed in. that was when she told me it was agoraphobia. I had no idea it had a name. cause when I seen the psychologist at the time, he never once says it was that.

because its stems from my past. some of my past I have managed to over come. still working on past issues too.

going to continue to work on past issues for next few weeks, then we will work on my anxiety. I have done in the past, a refresher is always good to redo some work on anxiety.

right now my anxiety is out of control I constantly feel sick. physically sick. part of it will be anxiety part of it will be asthma. just horrible.


going to help my sister go shopping, I'm driving her there. I go round the shop too, go in the shop scooter.

[sunshine1]

Yvonne, you sound a bit more chipper. it is good thaqt you have a name for some of the things you are feeling. Bobbydog is right when she says you are a tough lady! I think you are amazing and sure that you will start to feel bettter soon. If your asthma was a bit better I think that would make a difference for you in lots of ways.

It's nice you and your sister are close. Hope th shops were good. I wouldn't mind a shot in one of those scooters!Are you like the Irn Bru advert? xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

What iron bru advert? sorry I dont watch tv. maybe you can tell me about the advert.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Last night before going to bed, I was going to the ladies-room, while started to climb the stairs, I started to feel very unwell, I started to puff and out of breath, I took my time going up the stairs, when I got to the top of the stair, I manged to get into the ladies-room and sit down. my chest started to get all tight and so sore.

I asked my sister to get me my inhaler. and she did, as soon as I got my breath back, I managed to leave the ladies-room, I had to sit on the floor, I no longer could stand, I got so weak, no energy, I couldn't even come down the stairs. I had to ask my sister to phone for an ambulance, the ambulance arrived very quickly by this time I had managed to bum myself down the stairs.

the ambulance men helped me into the living room to get oxygen and nebuliser, which helped very much. was then taken to the hospital. the dr sent me for x-ray, results no infection which was good.

my peak flow was in the 300 zone, drs are looking for peak flow to be in the 200 zone. dr gave me steroids, and told me to make an appointment with practice nurse for nebulsier, I let him know i've already done that. I asked questions and dr answered them. I've to make an appointment with my gp for asap. which I have done this morning for Wednesday. to check my peak flow over the next few days.

plus to stay with my sister for a while longer. not to push myself to go home.

to take the steroids if I need them. right now I find it tiring and exhausting writing this. I just wanted to up date this. to let you know what has happened.


off to do two steps at a time, to the ladies-room. then going for a sleep. so tired and exhausted.

[yvonne_uk_98]

dont feel too good today, my sister is at work, im under a quilt, no heating, dont know how to turn my sisters heating on. its so cold, feel so horrible inside.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so exhausted, the steriods help a little, going to try and not take any steroids, only to take them if i really need them. I will know more how I feel this late afternoon.

its so horrible this exhausting feeling, plus now got a cold on top of it all. got a head cold, i've taken some pain killers, to help lift the edge of the pain.

need to make myself my garlic drink. will do after class. wish I had the energy to do things. this gets me down feeling like this, as I can not get out and about.

I appreciate when I can get around, dont like feeling like this. once Im feeling bit better, i've to start looking for ground floor flat to live in. dr's orders. you dont think your going to have to move again.

still trying to complete the blue badge form, have to put in minutes how long in total did it take you to get to were you have to be.

in my form its from my sisters front door to the car, had to time myself to see how long it took to take 4 steps. at the time of filling the form in, I could take 4 steps before I have to stop and take my inhaler, now its every step I take.

its so painful to walk, exhausting and tiring I'm so puffed out. go to see the nurse on 5 november, I hope its not long after that , I get referred to the asthma clinic at the hospital.

going to see my gp on Wednesday at 3.30pm.

thought class was on, it is on, just kind of throws ya when they turn the clocks back. got my alarm set for bible class starting, dont want to miss it. I'm just listening and taking notes.

I could go to sleep. its not long now until class.

at least class is recorded, means I can watch it later. but i like to be there, in case got to ask any questions, can get them answered there and then.

---------- Post added at 12:32 ---------- Previous post was at 12:27 ----------

my nephew and I watched a dvd movie the muppets show. it was good and funny we had a laugh. needed something to help lift my mood.

[yvonne_uk_98]

life sucks right now, right now dont see the point in it all. sorry.

---------- Post added 29-10-12 at 00:45 ---------- Previous post was 28-10-12 at 22:54 ----------

feeling sick inside, not feeling too great. hope I feel better tomorrow. would be good to feel a bit better. wish I could. going shopping tomorrow at home time. my son is coming to my sisters and we both going food shopping. My second oldest son will be at home after 5 pm. maybe go to the cafe in asda and have a rest before doing the rest of the shopping. so to give my son time to be at home after college.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so exhausted,, i managed to do my shopping with the help of my youngest son and my nephew. I got the scooter to go round the shop.

back at my sisters and so exhausted, feel so drained. going to stay in tomorrow. just phone my cbt therapist.

im puffed, I have taken my inhalers. still puffed.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel so exhausted, and so sad, just found out my friend went to work this morning and collapsed, heart attack, and she is not doing too good, drs dont think she will last the night. I cant get there to be with her at this time. its so sad.

[BobbyDog]

feel so exhausted, and so sad, just found out my friend went to work this morning and collapsed, heart attack, and she is not doing too good, drs dont think she will last the night. I cant get there to be with her at this time. its so sad.

Sorry things are not improving for you Yvonne, I am always thinking about you.:weep: Have you heard anything about the Nebuliser yet?
xxxx:hugs:

[sunshine1]

yvonne really sorry about your friend. Still praying for you. xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sorry things are not improving for you Yvonne, I am always thinking about you.:weep: Have you heard anything about the Nebuliser yet?
xxxx:hugs:

Bobbydog,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

got my appointment for the nurse on 5 november to try nebuliser, then to make an appointment with the doctor then be referred to asthma clinic. takes time. plus being reffered for some test, meter test. to see how my lungs are doing. dr gave me more steroids.

dr says I've to try and learn to accept that im really ill and can not walk far. I'll wont be doing anything, just sitting around. plus I've been hyperventilating, I've got a good few paper bags to use to blow into to bring my breathing to slow breathing. just a nightmare




yvonne really sorry about your friend. Still praying for you. xxx

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words & prayers very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

My friend Irene passed away today at lunch time. I not long found out, cause I was out at my gp's. so sad. I wont be able to go to the funeral. because I'm not well enough.

[BobbyDog]

What about getting a mobility scooter? so you can still get out.

You are doing really well coping with all the problems you have at the moment Yvonne, rest as much as you can. The hyperventilating isn't pleasant I get it most days, but I don't have the asthma to deal with like you. Hopefully you will get that under control soon with the help of your doctor, then you can start to rebuild.

:bighug1:

[kittikat]

feel so exhausted, and so sad, just found out my friend went to work this morning and collapsed, heart attack, and she is not doing too good, drs dont think she will last the night. I cant get there to be with her at this time. its so sad.

Yvonne, I am so sorry you are having such an awful time right now. You are in my thoughts :hugs: Stay strong. I am really sorry to hear your friend passed away.
You don't deserve this, I am sending lots of positive thoughts your way. :bighug1::flowers: Kitti xxxx :bighug1::flowers:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Kitti,

Thank you for your kind & encouraging words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Since being at the drs yesterday, finding out that I've been hyperventilating, I have not hyperventilated, I had a better sleep last night. my anxiety was not as bad. I did not have the pain go down my left arm and leg, still got a long way to go to getting better. its a small start.

my confidence is low, as soon as I gain more confidence, my anxiety will get lesser, and less panic attacks.

going to ask credit union if I can help them do something from home to keep my mind occuppied. my gp says I can ask credit union. will ask today.

since I have to take it easy and sit around, I've to keep myself occupied.

Im puffed, and have had my inhalers. I've to take my spacer & inhaler before I climb the stairs, have a shower or when I go out for an appointment.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to my friends Suzi, this morning, had lunch there, my friend was shock at how breathless I got. she was worried. then I fell asleep there. I had apologiesed for falling asleep, and my friend says it was alright.

then I came back to my sisters house, phoned the dss to see if they got my form, i was told that the team dealing with my claim will phone me back in 5 working hours. that will mean they will phone me on Monday.

I feel so exhausted and emotional. miss my friend irene, she was a good laugh, loving and caring.

feel so tired, could go to sleep, got to make sure my nephew does his homework. got to nag him to do it. tried boosting his confidence, doing it the good and nice way, didnt work. got to give him some tough love to get him to do his homework.

[yvonne_uk_98]

looked up to see if there was another way to help my nephew to do his homework and yes I found away for him. going to type it up and print it off. and the homework is up to him to do. with the rules that go with doing homework.

been taking it easy, had good sabbath, and good sabbath class.

got appointments next week.

going to see the nurse on monday for nebuliser trial. then go see my gp on wednesday or is it thursday. need to check my diary.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had an appointment with the nurse for my asthma to get a nebuliser trial, I was not too well this morning, phone the taxis to get a taxi, but was told the system had crashed and can take up to 20 minutes to get a taxi. I had to think, time taxi would arrive, I would be late for my appointment. I canceled taxi and phoned drs to rearrange my appointment with the nurse. got an appointment for Wednesday 14 November at 1.30pm.

I went for a nap, my I slept, must have needed it. feel little better. but still the same for breathing problems.

I received phone call from dwp, to let me know that they have recieved my esa and everything will carry on as normal. it was a message into my answer machine.

I would have asked what does that mean. need to phone advice works and let her know too.

will do tomorrow. I was too late when I woke up to phone and let the advice worker know.

[yvonne_uk_98]

not had a good night, had asthma attack, this time I did my best not to panic, feel so ill and exhausted, feel like went back 10 steps again. looks like gonna be here for much longer much more longer I mean. going to phone my gp I would like reassurance.

---------- Post added at 09:08 ---------- Previous post was at 08:46 ----------

got an appointment for 3 pm, the receptionist says I sounded pretty breathless, she asking the dr to call me back this morning sometime, incase he wants me to go in.

---------- Post added at 12:01 ---------- Previous post was at 09:08 ----------

going to the hospital. drs gave me a letter to go. let you know what happens.

[sunshine1]

oh Yvonne, what a hard time you are having. Hope hospital goes ok. xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks.

As for me im in the hospital. Ive got blood clot in my lungs. On oxygen, feel a little better, still feel breathless.

Still have problems moving around. Drs says she try and get me home as soon as possible, going to take and enjoy the rest. ,

[sunshine1]

sent you hugs on Bottle blonde's post. i had a possible clot during my second pregnancy - still don't know if i have or have not had one. I am sure that the oxygenis helping you to feel much better. No wonder you have been feeling so rotten!

Well, I hope the catering at the hospital is better than the last time I was in one. If you are in Paisley, probably RAH?

Rest up well! :bighug1:xxxx

[BobbyDog]

I am so pleased that you are getting all the help you need, after struggling for weeks on end with your asthma and the blood clot, hopefully now you will get the nebuliser you so obviously need.
Thinking of you.
Sarah.xxxx

[Anxious_gal]

Oh no so sorry to hear you're in hospital : (. But it's good as you will be safe there and you will get better and be home soon
What will they do to fix the blood clot?
I hope they get your asthma under control soon too.
I know how stressful being in hospital can be, but it's one of those things where you just get through it the best you can.
Get well soon :hugs:

[JT69]

Yvonne,

So sorry to hear about your friend...very sad news. Its awful that you are having such a bad time of it hun...I hope you turn a corner very soon.

Lots of hugs and love
Jo.xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Oh no so sorry to hear you're in hospital : (. But it's good as you will be safe there and you will get better and be home soon
What will they do to fix the blood clot?
I hope they get your asthma under control soon too.
I know how stressful being in hospital can be, but it's one of those things where you just get through it the best you can.
Get well soon :hugs:

Anxious_gal,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

all they can do is thin the blood, hopefully through time the clots will disolve.


Yvonne,

So sorry to hear about your friend...very sad news. Its awful that you are having such a bad time of it hun...I hope you turn a corner very soon.

Lots of hugs and love
Jo.xx

Jo,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated. thanks. :hugs:


I'm going to see the nurse today getting nebuliser trial. let you know how that goes, then got an appointment at southern general hospital for my first appointment since coming out of hospital. then will be at a local clinic, to get my blood checked, for my inr to see what does I take until my next appointment.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to the nurse today, tried the nebuliser, it didnt make any difference, plus I shook a lot more, I didnt like the feeling of shaking so much. not going for the nebuliser, just going to go to asthma clinic at my gps. had another asthma attack today.

my inr was too high, no warfarin tomorrow, then 5mg upto saturday then 4mg to Monday.

my get a day off taking warfarin, yipeeee.

[yvonne_uk_98]

feel a little better today, though still get breathless.

went to my appointment today, then came home and went to class online. got another class on sabbath, got 2 now. really good. need to get a mic that does not pick up back ground noise.

[yvonne_uk_98]

caught the cold, feel it going into my chest and an irritable cough, its one thing after another.

other than that feel bit better. wont really know until I go out, got an appointment with dr King today, to ask for cpn. as i need a bit of more support at the present.

[yvonne_uk_98]

seen dr king yesterday, he is going to referr me for a cpn. need bit more support right now. plus im getting used to these asthma attacks. I dont panick so much now.

feel so tired and exhausted. and resting. got my art group on Monday, my sivivor group on Tuesday and my appointments on monday, thursday, hopefully this Friday coming i'll remember I've got womens group to go to. plus got a few other things to do with my bible studying.

busy week. wont be able to go to credit union for a while yet.

[yvonne_uk_98]

had a terrible night, my couging, every time I lay down for the night, I started to cough, I had to sit up. I kept trying to lay down, no joy, I didnt get to sleep until 6am this morning. took me a while to get comfortable without coughing. now got sore muscles in my tummy, sore chest. its awful still coughing on and off, now im sitting up.

going to phone my gp tomorrow hopefully get something for this.

other than that I'm alright. as long as I dont go anywhere. wont get puffed.

[ElizabethJane]

hi Yvonne I certainly know how you must be feeling as I am at home recovering from a chest infection. It has left me feeling exhausted. My peak flow reading was 200 and if it had been 100 then the doctor would have started me on oral steroids which would interfere with the lithium. I cannot take antibiotics either so my body has mostly been fighting the infection itself. I'm sorry and I know that you must take extra care as you have been recently discharged from hospital. EJ

[yvonne_uk_98]

hi Yvonne I certainly know how you must be feeling as I am at home recovering from a chest infection. It has left me feeling exhausted. My peak flow reading was 200 and if it had been 100 then the doctor would have started me on oral steroids which would interfere with the lithium. I cannot take antibiotics either so my body has mostly been fighting the infection itself. I'm sorry and I know that you must take extra care as you have been recently discharged from hospital. EJ

ElizabethJane,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

so sorry your going through such a rough time too. hope you feel better soon. :hugs: its awful to go through a chest infection and not get anything or have anything that works.

have you ever tried Violet leaf, that helps and its an herb, alternative to using antibiotics. I need to get some more. not got any right now.


you can also use garlic a natural antibiotic which will not affect your lithium.

hope you feel better soon.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to the vampire clinic, my inr was good, just to keep on the dose im on. I forgot to take my parcel with me, had to go back to pick my parcel up and went to the post office.

on the way back to the car was so puffed, felt like was not going to make it to the car, I eventually did.

when I got back to my sisters, my back started to hurt, then when I was bending over to the bin, my back went. not good can not go anywhere get out of breath but to stay still with sore back, that gonna get worse, I need to move about. to help my back get better.

other than that Im alright.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going to see gp today about my chest infection and my cough. plus going to housing department to put my name down. no better yet. going to go into town and phone shopmobility for scooter. going home later to get some stuff to take to my sisters. my son will be in, get him to come down to the car to help me get some stuff that I need.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going to hospital in an ambulace, became very very heavily tired today, this is the second time this week and Im worried about it. because I canny do anything, all I can do is sleep. become very drained. let you know how things goo.

[BobbyDog]

going to hospital in an ambulace, became very very heavily tired today, this is the second time this week and Im worried about it. because I canny do anything, all I can do is sleep. become very drained. let you know how things goo.

Missing you and thinking of you.:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Missing you and thinking of you.:hugs:

BobbyDog,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:

back at my sisters, the doctor explained it all, now I got the bigger picture.

dr was shocked that no one explained to me about my illness.

the multiple blood clots that I got in both lungs is so serious and serve, and may have damaged my heart. he explained that while still having problems with my asthma which knocks ya for 6, and having multiple clots knocks ya for 6. and one clot takes up to 6 months to dissolve, with me having multiple gonna take a long time to dissolve.

plus I have been complaining of not being able to walk far, this is it, I'm not gonna get back to walking from one end of town to the next end. this is permanent. my breathless ness will get better will take up to 6 months to get better. I wont be fully better. now I know why they want me to have a cpn, as this has a big knock on affect on my mental health.

[Anxious_gal]

I don't know if you can take codeine, but it stops you from coughing.
I found out when I took some painkillers for my chest infection.
You can get it too in a cough syrup but I think they keep it behind the counter and it might be prescription only.
When ever I get a bad cough, my muscles hurt from the force of coughing.
My tummy hurts like I did a 100 sit-ups and after that every cough is painful as it pulls on all my sore mucles.
Very frustrating.

Oh no : ( it seems your immune system is low, between the asthma and the getting sick.
Well done for getting ambulance! You deserve to be treated properly!!
Wow, I'm glad that doctor explains things to you.

I know it can be depressing when you feel unwell.
It's not easy feeling so bad all the time.
It's hard to explain to people too and often people aren't as supportive as they should be.

I assume there's some sort of treatment plan?

[Serenitie]

Thinking of you, Yvonne. Wishing you a peaceful recovery. I have a candle lit for you. Sending you lots of love and big hugs :bighug1:

Cat xxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

I don't know if you can take codeine, but it stops you from coughing.
I found out when I took some painkillers for my chest infection.
You can get it too in a cough syrup but I think they keep it behind the counter and it might be prescription only.
When ever I get a bad cough, my muscles hurt from the force of coughing.
My tummy hurts like I did a 100 sit-ups and after that every cough is painful as it pulls on all my sore mucles.
Very frustrating.

Oh no : ( it seems your immune system is low, between the asthma and the getting sick.
Well done for getting ambulance! You deserve to be treated properly!!
Wow, I'm glad that doctor explains things to you.

I know it can be depressing when you feel unwell.
It's not easy feeling so bad all the time.
It's hard to explain to people too and often people aren't as supportive as they should be.

I assume there's some sort of treatment plan?

Anious_gal,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:
it was only the dr in A & E who took time to explain, he was shocked that they only kept me in for few days. and that no one explained it to me. guess I didn't ask the right questions. now I know.

only treatment plan there is that's the warfarin.

plus my asthma my inhalers. just to go and see the nurse about my asthma. keep going to the vampire clinic that's about it.

i've to chase up getting tested for further investigation.







Thinking of you, Yvonne. Wishing you a peaceful recovery. I have a candle lit for you. Sending you lots of love and big hugs :bighug1:

Cat xxx

Serenitie,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

feel little better today, now tired going to my bed.

[sunshine1]

Gosh that is serious Yvonne, no wonder you have been feeling so unwell.My friend had clots on her lungs and I know that the damage there causes her some pain too. it must be a big knock to your confidence etc too and it is not good that nobody explained the consequences of what has happened. It will take you a while to feel better mentally and physically, but i am sure that you will get there. Big hugs x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Yvonne I thought that they might have kept you in . Sending more hugs. EJ xx

[ammiemum]

dear Yvonne, so sorry you have been and are not well . i have only just read all that you have been through- it has obviously been very difficult for you. i hope you are soon feeling much better x Remember to be kind to yourself! you are always there when someone needs your help but i don't think you give yourself as much love and kindness as you give to us. i pray you will soon be yourself again .go careful :hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

dear Yvonne, so sorry you have been and are not well . i have only just read all that you have been through- it has obviously been very difficult for you. i hope you are soon feeling much better x Remember to be kind to yourself! you are always there when someone needs your help but i don't think you give yourself as much love and kindness as you give to us. i pray you will soon be yourself again .go careful :hugs:

ammiemum,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

I feel little bit better today, for the first time in ages, I was able to walk a little bit further without getting out of breath, that made my day.

a small improvement. I now know im on the mend, just gonna take time to get better.

going to my yearly conference tomorrow, looking forward to it.

Im working on boosting my confidence back up. the more confident I get, which will be good for my health to help me get better.

doing things slowly and take it easy.

[yvonne_uk_98]

I was at my gp's today, I've to be sent for more tests to investigate what is going on in my lungs and heart. to go for a breathing test to find out what my lungs are doing. and to get Echo scan to check for heart failure.

hope there's no heart failure. . right now my mood has dropped, just feel canny be bothered with things.

[ammiemum]

:hugs:

[Thumbelina]

Hi Yvonne,
You will iber ome thos feelings over the time - you will see...

[yvonne_uk_98]

:hugs:

ammiemum,

thank you for your hugs, very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:


Hi Yvonne,
You will iber ome thos feelings over the time - you will see...
Thumbalina,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

[BobbyDog]

I was at my gp's today, I've to be sent for more tests to investigate what is going on in my lungs and heart. to go for a breathing test to find out what my lungs are doing. and to get Echo scan to check for heart failure.

hope there's no heart failure. . right now my mood has dropped, just feel canny be bothered with things.

You are still in my thoughts Yvonne, keeping my fingers crossed that it is good news.
xxxx

[sunshine1]

Hang in there! Lots of love x

[Magic]

Thinking of you Yvonne. Hope all goes well:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

bobbydog, sunshine1 and magic,

Thank you for your kind words, as soon as I know when I've to go for the tests, i'll let you know.

just found out this morning that I've to goto the homeless unit on Monday as I canny manage the stairs. what a night mare this is. I dont know how much more I can take.. thank goodness I've got some support to help me. let ya know how things go.

[yvonne_uk_98]

my teenage children, are finding it hard to accept that they will not have a roof over their heads. I can understand how they feel about this. but wishful thinking, they would say that we are going through this together, no, I've been told from two of my teenagers that they will go and stay with their brother and sister and mum you can go there yourself. i'll let the homeless unit officer know i have 3 teenagers still living with me. its just a nightmare right now.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to my appointment at 11 am, at the homeless unit, and they says that cause I still have accommodation, I am not homeless and dont have to go homeless to get a new place. they says I should get my name on the waiting list asap. and fill in a mobility form for an assessment. and when the housing officer that comes out to do the assessment. then I will be put on a top priority list in the housing queue. for temporary I can still stay at my sisters until I feel bit better to try and manage the stairs at home.


When I went to the asthma clinic, my peak flow has improved more, the nurse says that I will get better but very slowly. will have good days and bad days.

im so exhausted and so tired. plus got a busy morning tomorrow.

[yvonne_uk_98]

going to my group tomorrow, and got the car to deice, not looking forward to that, as this tires me out.

Plus I'll be going home on 26 December 2012, I'm looking forward to it.

however not looking forward to climbing the 3 flights of stairs. I have been home twice last week. and found out after climbing the stairs taking it one step at a time and resting on every second step. its tiring me out, I m so tired for two days after it. I sleep most of the time. One of my friends has ended their friendship with me, as they think Im making this up. I don't know why they think this. they too are not well, I know they are not making it up.

I would love to be able to walk without getting breathless. I would love to be able to breath without getting breathless. guess we lose some friends through life. guess this is just at that particular time.

I will miss them and their support. it was good while it lasted.

going to phone to find out if Im on the cpn waiting list. do that tomorrow. after my group.

its cold tonight. going to my bed, got to get up in the morning, think I'll start de-icing the car about 9.15am. hopefully Im done before 9.45am.

need to phone women & children 1st for a disabled parking space.

[sunshine1]

we missed you yvonne. That's sad about your friend. I think friendships are sometimes made stronger or broken through hard times. I also think some poeple come into our lives just for a time.

I am not surprised you are tired after everything you have been through recently. You must be physically and emothionally exhausted. Hope your housing problem gets sorted soon. Have a good day. xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

we missed you yvonne. That's sad about your friend. I think friendships are sometimes made stronger or broken through hard times. I also think some poeple come into our lives just for a time.

I am not surprised you are tired after everything you have been through recently. You must be physically and emothionally exhausted. Hope your housing problem gets sorted soon. Have a good day. xx

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:

I've missed everyone here too. that's true people do come and go, only in our lifes for a time.

this morning's group was good, we touch on more stuff that hit home, got my counseling session on thursday I can go over what was covered today. plus I'll get my appointment with my support worker who couldnt manage today. I'll see my support worker before my counseling session.

need to make an appointment with my gp. I'll do that for tomorrow. defo will have to de-ice the car tomorrow, I got a taxi today, I couldnt be bothered with getting cold hands, being puffed out.

[yvonne_uk_98]

been to hospital this evening, with weak and tingling left arm, drs are putting it down to mini stroke, I've to attend the mini stroke clinic. due to all my health history issuses. and can not put me on aspirin cause on Wafarin. now to rest and take it easy. its one thing after another.

[kittikat]

I am thinking of you Yvonne, I hope you can get through this difficult time :hugs:

You are a positive and thoughtful lady, look after number 1 for a change...rest & relaxation is the best thing for you right now.

Take care, catch up soon.

Lots of love & big hugs coming your way :bighug1: Kitti :flowers: xxxx

[Magic]

Dear Yvonne,
I cannot believe what you are going through!!! You must be a very strong, brave lady.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

I am thinking of you Yvonne, I hope you can get through this difficult time :hugs:

You are a positive and thoughtful lady, look after number 1 for a change...rest & relaxation is the best thing for you right now.

Take care, catch up soon.

Lots of love & big hugs coming your way :bighug1: Kitti :flowers: xxxx

Kittikat,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:


Dear Yvonne,
I cannot believe what you are going through!!! You must be a very strong, brave lady.:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Magic,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated, thanks.:hugs:

---------- Post added at 19:40 ---------- Previous post was at 19:37 ----------

canceled my appointments today, took it easy, went for a nap, feel little better. need to see my gp. hopefully will get an appointment to see my gp tomorrow.

[BobbyDog]

been to hospital this evening, with weak and tingling left arm, drs are putting it down to mini stroke, I've to attend the mini stroke clinic. due to all my health history issuses. and can not put me on aspirin cause on Wafarin. now to rest and take it easy. its one thing after another.

I am so sorry to hear your latest news Yvonne, you are one tough cookie and will pull through this, we all miss you.xxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

I am so sorry to hear your latest news Yvonne, you are one tough cookie and will pull through this, we all miss you.xxxx

bobbydog,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated, thanks.:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

yesterday i went to my appointments, after my day of appointments I was so tired and exhausted, that i went to my bed when I got in, and slept right through to this morning, woke up at 5.00 am.

been feeling little tired and drained. hopefully now that no more appointments except for filling in forms for housing applications and support worker. I can rest, and get better.

[yvonne_uk_98]

I was at the stroke clinic this morning, I was given good news. dr says that my blood resluts were good and my brain scan was clear. she also says that I didnt have a mini stroke last week or this week. she was so pleased. then she explained to me why Im getting so much pain and discomfort.

she says that everyone breaths in and out and has no pain. but I am having pain and discomfort breathing in and out. its due to my lungs having multiply blood clots. she says that my muscles are inflammed. and the lung muscles are rubbing against my ribs and this is what caused me all the discomfort and pain. will take time to heal.

now I know what's going on. I've to rest and take it easy. I'm really glad that i didnt have a stroke.

[BobbyDog]

I was at the stroke clinic this morning, I was given good news. dr says that my blood resluts were good and my brain scan was clear. she also says that I didnt have a mini stroke last week or this week. she was so pleased. then she explained to me why Im getting so much pain and discomfort.

she says that everyone breaths in and out and has no pain. but I am having pain and discomfort breathing in and out. its due to my lungs having multiply blood clots. she says that my muscles are inflammed. and the lung muscles are rubbing against my ribs and this is what caused me all the discomfort and pain. will take time to heal.

now I know what's going on. I've to rest and take it easy. I'm really glad that i didnt have a stroke.

Really pleased Yvonne, some good news at last and you had a very detailed description of what is going on with your lungs.
I hope you have a good Christmas with your family and may all your wishes for the coming year come true.xxxx

[ElizabethJane]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:love to Yvonne xxxx EJ

[yvonne_uk_98]

Bobbydog,

Thank you for your kind words, hope you 2 have good holiday.

ElizabethJane,

thank you for your hugs. very much appreciated thanks.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[sunshine1]

That is good news! xx

[yvonne_uk_98]

sunshine1,

Yes it is good news.

got appointments today. my appointments are not until later on this afternoon. going to get more forms filled in for housing applications.

feel tired right now, might have a nap then get ready for this afternoon.

[yvonne_uk_98]

been to the movies with my sister and her son, it was good we went to see hobbit 3d. my nephew cant wait until the follow up to the movie. cause he was sad the way it ended, as he says what, were's the ending.

[yvonne_uk_98]

got some good news:

I woke up this morning in pain, it was like i was taking big deep breaths in and was not. it was like waves of breathing pain across my chest. i waited until this was over and says to myself maybe this is it going away.

i went back to sleep after it. when i woke up i was able to breath without pain. i still got a little pain, nothing like the way it was.

I climbed my sisters stairs and I was expecting to be all puffed out and I was not, I was able to breath. when I came back down the stairs, I was not out of breath, though was a little out of breath, not in the way I have been.

[BobbyDog]

got some good news:

I woke up this morning in pain, it was like i was taking big deep breaths in and was not. it was like waves of breathing pain across my chest. i waited until this was over and says to myself maybe this is it going away.

i went back to sleep after it. when i woke up i was able to breath without pain. i still got a little pain, nothing like the way it was.

I climbed my sisters stairs and I was expecting to be all puffed out and I was not, I was able to breath. when I came back down the stairs, I was not out of breath, though was a little out of breath, not in the way I have been.

Merry Christmas Yvonne, lets hope this is the start of some respite for you, I really do hope so.xxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Bobbydog,

Thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:



Yesterday was a good day for my breathing. now I know Im on the mend. I hope I have many more good breathing days without pain.

my pain came back last night. I appreciated not having any pain and not being so much out of breath it was so good.

going to be packing my bags and getting ready to go home tomorrow.

[Magic]

ALL THE BEST YVONNE. Hope you are alright when you get home:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Magic,

Thank you very much for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks. :hugs:


i was just checking over the months, to when I came to my sisters to stay with her. it was in October, I remember paying my neighbor who does the stairs and puts my bins out for £2.00 a week. I pay (£10.00 am month) I remember paying him double for two months. I only need to pay him for December, Jan and Feb. I best pay up to Feb. as my dla comes in a month in advance. they have mucked up my payments the dla.

[yvonne_uk_98]

Im going home today, my daughter phoned me, to let me know she is there too, she and my two sons will help me up the stairs with my stuff to the house, I'll drive my daughter home after that as she has stuff to take home. Im looking forward to going home.

I want to be home before quiz class starts this evening. dont want to miss it. want to see if I got it correct. though I have missed out a question. I need my old notes for that.

done 3 trips to the car, just to pack my laptop, lift my water filter and my bag of stuff, then I can go home.

just resting right now.

[yvonne_uk_98]

I'm at home, sitting in my chair, and its cold going to go upstairs get my fleece blanket. to keep myself warm.

got quiz class this evening. going to that. need to get my note book out with my answers for the quiz.

[yvonne_uk_98]

I was too tired last night to go to the quiz class. got bible class tomorrow morning. looking forward to it.

been to asda to get 2 more casserole dishes for my broccoli and cauliflower cheese bake. will take my time cooking it, as I get out of breath and exhausted just moving around the kitchen.

[sunshine1]

Sounds like you are doing a bit better Yvonne, don't wear yourself out with all the cooking!! Sounds nice.x:yesyes:

[yvonne_uk_98]

Sounds like you are doing a bit better Yvonne, don't wear yourself out with all the cooking!! Sounds nice.x:yesyes:

Sunshine1,

Thank you for your kind words very much appreciated thanks. :hugs:

my broccoli and cauliflower cheese bake turned out good, I was all worried in case my teenagers didnt like it. after they had their dinner I asked them how it was, they all says it was lovely, when I went into the kitchen, I noticed the all had extra. only left a small portion of it. it was the first time I made it. now they want to know how to make it.

not cooking this evening, cooking tomorrow, got a steak pie and will make potatoes, my daughter coming up tomorrow evening. going to have a bit of time together. we are going to play the monopoly game. now that's fun, when my teenagers play they start to not want to part with their money. its so funny.

going to look out my soup recipes and make homemade soup one of the days.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to the vampire clinic today, alls good, on the same dose, thank goodness for that, nurse asked me was I sticking to the dose mon to friday and changing it at the weekend, I says not, I just stick to the same dose all week, cause I forget to change it to a lower does. she says well just stick to what your doing.

then I picked up my sons, took one and dropped him off at the gym, then with my youngest son we went to Asda to get him some cold remedies, I seen my daughter was at asda too, I suggested I give her a lift home cause that is where my youngest son was going after he got his stuff. after all that, now home.

I'm exhausted after climbing the stairs. going to have an early night.

need to go and pick my son up tomorrow, as there will be no buses on.

hope its not too early. going to have a long lie in.

[yvonne_uk_98]

been taking it easy, i've over done it a little, need to take it easy. woke up with a tight chest this morning, could hardly breath. I took it slowly coming down the stairs this morning.

taking it easy today.

taking it easy tomorrow. though my sons are going out, they will get the bus, instead of asking me to take them. so that i can rest.

[sunshine1]

Too much partying at hogmany? Rest up well. i think it is tempting when feeling a bit better to overdo things. I think a bit of daytime telly is called for.

XXXX

[yvonne_uk_98]

Too much partying at hogmany? Rest up well. i think it is tempting when feeling a bit better to overdo things. I think a bit of daytime telly is called for.

XXXX

Sunshine1,

thank you for your kind words, very much appreciated, thanks.

I dont celebrate New year, I was out picking up my teenagers, I was coming up the stairs one at a time resting on every second step. I tried to avoid going up them twice or more. I dont like staying in. as for tv, I dont watch tv. dont miss it. i'm resting and on my laptop. got some homework to do. I'll finish of that, need it done before later on this evening. got quiz class of bible studies.

going to phone my sister, she wont be out of bed yet, need to wait until late afternoon.

feel bit better today. will rest today, and go out tomorrow. hopefully i'lll only need to climb those stairs once.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went out for a meal with my boys on Friday evening, it was round about then when I remembered what day i was on and it was sabbath, felt bad for going out on sabbath.

going out this thursday with my girls. looking forward to that, and my group starts back this tuesday. looking forward to it.

planning in going back to credit union, at least this will get me out of the house for few hours.

I will be phoning manageress of credit union and talking about going back on a thrusday for 2 hours to start with for the first few weeks, then build up to 4 hours. then see how things go, then gradually add in the Tuesday too.

still taking it easy.

would be good to get up at a decent time in the morning, not tooo early.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went did my shopping today, found it tiring when I got home. today felt exhausted and took it easy today. my group is on tomorrow, looking forward to going to my group, need to get up early.

[yvonne_uk_98]

went to my women's group this morning and it was quiet emotional. then later on today went and did the rest of my shopping and my car broke down. Rac guy say it could cost up to £700.00. I hope not. wont know until tomorrow when I phone the garage. was so upset this evening. feel little bit better.

[kittikat]

Aww Yvonne....poor you, it's one thing after another hun. I hope the car is OK and not too expensive to repair, I know it's a lifeline for you....we'll have to have a whip round and sort you out :winks: Stay positive xx

Big hugs & lots of love :bighug1: xxxxx

[yvonne_uk_98]

Aww Yvonne....poor you, it's one thing after another hun. I hope the car is OK and not too expensive to repair, I know it's a lifeline for you....we'll have to have a whip round and sort you out :winks: Stay positive xx

Big hugs & lots of love :bighug1: xxxxx

Thank you Kittikat, for your kind words, very much appreciated thanks.:hugs:

[yvonne_uk_98]

phoned the garage today to find out about my car, it was the timeing belt, it jump and caused a lot of damage to the engine. because the car is so old, it was not worth paying a lot of money to get it fixed. cause it might not last long. my car went to the scrap yard.

now searching for a second hand car.

[Magic]

Yvonne,
Sorry to hear about your car. So much going on all at once. cannot be easy looking
for a replacement car. I hope you get it sorted, with your health situations you really do need a car.
Take care xxxxx