Problem with worrying

[Belle80]

Hi

I have never used a forum before and am not even sure I am in the right place! Perhaps if I tell you a bit more about my problem you can let me know!

Basicially, I worry a lot about something bad happening to my partner. I have looked online and see this is not uncommon but it is getting worse and really draining me and getting me down.

It is worse when my partner is going away for work. I spends weeks before worrying myslef sick about it thinking that something bad will happen - well that he will die/be in an accident. I feel phyically sick if he is travelling anywhere without me and I work myself into such a panic. He is going away for a week at the end of August abroad and I am terrified about whether he will be ok/safe. I can't relax until he has arrived safely.

I also worry if I text him and he does not reply for a little while. I know it is because he is busy with work stuff but I start to get heart palpatations and imagine awful things like he has been hurt of there has been a fire. Plus if he does not email as soon as he gets to work each day I think he has been involved in an accident and start searching the online news!

I an not really sure what to do about it. I think he would like to work in London but has held back as he knows I would be scared him catching the tube every day.

Does anyone else suffer from this and if you could give me any advice I would be so grateful as is is really getting me down.

Thanks
Belle80

[Annie0904]

Hi Yes I am the same and even worse with my children! My youngest son (now 21) went to France to meet a friend and parents who had a house in France when he was 16. It was his first time to fly on his own and I spent the week he was away in bed with anxiety. Even when they went on school trips I would cry. Now that they have left home they try not to tell me if they going anywhere until they have done it. My husband also works away and has to text me as soon as he gets there. I try to distance myself as much as I can now and do something to take my mind off it but it isn't easy. My daughter just cycled down the most dangerous road in the world in Bolivia..imagine how I felt then! I wasn't supposed to find out but someone told me. I wish I had an answer for you but I don't...at least you know you are not alone. I speak to my husband on skype on an evening when he away then at least I can see his safe and well. The chances of something happening are very low and can happen just as easy at home as they can away. I fell off a ladder 9 weeks ago when my husband was away and broke some bones so maybe he should be worrying about me more! My kids all joke about me worrying so much now and they have a point...we have to live our lives and do things with risks sometimes. You didn't say what job your husband does. Mine just does office work so I shouldn't really worry so much. :hugs:

[Belle80]

Thank you so much for replying - it means a lot and you have made me smile. My husband always says "Imagine what it will be like when we have children" and it sounds like you are going through all of that at the moment! My husband also does an office based job so he is not in any imminent danger either :D I know it is totally irrational as well and can laugh about it but just know it will get worse nearer the time he goes away! It may sound corny but I think it is because we are so happy I just worry something will go wrong! You are absolutely right about having to do things with risks in life and I would never want to hold him back so it looks like I am going to just have to find a way to keep myself busy while he is away!

[Annie0904]

I know someone whose husband does bomb disposal so we should think ourselves lucky that ours are only in an office! When my daughter was doing the death road trip I googled it thinking "it can't be that bad" I thought it would make me feel better but I was almost physically sick! How can anyone do that! But if it is what they want to do I can't let my fears hold them back. :) I can laugh at how silly I seem sometimes. My oldest son phoned my husband and said "I am going from Italy to England on a moped, DON'T tell Mum! I found out just before the ferry crossing back to England and still worried about the rest of the journey! :D x

[Belle80]

Morning Annie0904

Oh my goodness - bomb disposal - I'd be a nervous wreck all the time! I think I shall just do what I can to put it to the back of my mind as much as possible!

x