Elle-Kay
16-08-12, 14:25
I'm quite pleased with myself today.
I had to go over to the supermarket to buy an extra pint of milk, and whilst there I decided that contrary to what my gut instinct told me, I was going to go and have a hot drink in the cafe before I went home. I had a little dialogue in my head about whether it was a good idea, but put my foot down with myself (:roflmao:) and went for it. I bought a hot chocolate, and made myself sit there until I'd finished it. Drinking a hot drink often sets of my anxiety, so I chose that specifically. I was anxious, and found myself 'stirring' that up towards a panic, so I was able to practice the stuff I've been learning from CBT4Panic - relaxing my stomach, my shoulders, feeling my feet on the ground etc. - which made the anxiety turn into a good thing, by giving me the chance to practice.
I had a bit of a wobble when I finished the last mouthful of the drink (which always reminds me that I've put something in my stomach, so I usually leave a mouthful or so of everything I eat/drink), and when I left had the urge to run home as quickly as I could, but I went back to practicing, and decided that I was going to walk the long way home - through the park and the orchard - rather than going straight home. I kept up the practice and as it turned out I actually enjoyed the walk through the park - smelling the grass, seeing what fruit was in the orchard, laughing at the groundsman lobbing fallen apples into the undergrowth... lol - and soon forgot that I had even been feeling anxious :yesyes:
I know it's only a baby step, but it's given me the incentive to go for another walk somewhere tomorrow to back it up :)
I had to go over to the supermarket to buy an extra pint of milk, and whilst there I decided that contrary to what my gut instinct told me, I was going to go and have a hot drink in the cafe before I went home. I had a little dialogue in my head about whether it was a good idea, but put my foot down with myself (:roflmao:) and went for it. I bought a hot chocolate, and made myself sit there until I'd finished it. Drinking a hot drink often sets of my anxiety, so I chose that specifically. I was anxious, and found myself 'stirring' that up towards a panic, so I was able to practice the stuff I've been learning from CBT4Panic - relaxing my stomach, my shoulders, feeling my feet on the ground etc. - which made the anxiety turn into a good thing, by giving me the chance to practice.
I had a bit of a wobble when I finished the last mouthful of the drink (which always reminds me that I've put something in my stomach, so I usually leave a mouthful or so of everything I eat/drink), and when I left had the urge to run home as quickly as I could, but I went back to practicing, and decided that I was going to walk the long way home - through the park and the orchard - rather than going straight home. I kept up the practice and as it turned out I actually enjoyed the walk through the park - smelling the grass, seeing what fruit was in the orchard, laughing at the groundsman lobbing fallen apples into the undergrowth... lol - and soon forgot that I had even been feeling anxious :yesyes:
I know it's only a baby step, but it's given me the incentive to go for another walk somewhere tomorrow to back it up :)