lindajane1971
19-08-12, 23:56
Hi Everyone,
I am having problems......Ive went from having some health anxiety to it now starting to take over my whole day.
Just want to let you know before reading further, im writing down how my mum died so if your sensitive to that then please don't read anymore.
My mum died suddenly 4 years ago, aged 54 from a sudden heart attack out of the blue. She was a reasonably healthy person but did smoke. I was not present when it happened but i was at the hospital when they pronounced her dead, she was at a friends house and the story her friend told me was - my mum was helping her friend move stuff in her house when she said she felt unwell, she said she was dizzy and felt sick and then she went to the bathroom and was sick quite a bit, when she came out she was very pale and sweating really bad and could hardly walk so she got her to lie down on the couch where she started to moan and then said she had chest pain. Her friend went to my aunts house which was just round the corner and she went round and told them to call an ambulance. It came and took her to hospital (this is when i was then called and i went to the hospital straight away) I was called at 11pm and her time of death was just after midnight so there was not that much time between everything happening.
The doctors gave no explanation for her death, just kept saying as she smoked that was why it had happened, there was no autopsy which now i regret not insisting there was one, if only i had known then how bad this would have effected me, knowing for sure what happened would've given me the much needed closure i seek so badly now.
I was the eldest daughter so the organizing of her funeral and sorting out her house was down to me and i don't think her death really hit me until a few months later when i just broke down upon waking one morning and ever since then my health anxiety has slowly taken over my life.
I am now scared every day that i am going to drop down dead like my mum did, after all she was fine 3 hours earlier when i had been with her!!!
The only thing the doctors have said i have is that I have ectopic beats - a recent 24 hour holter picked up i had 608 of them in that 24 hour period - and of course every time i feel one, i panic thinking "Did mum have any of these before she died?" "Is this the start of a heart attack?"
I am overweight, in fact im obese, i hate it, im so disgusted with my body i just look at it and weep, i really really want to lose weight and i have been trying, but its so very slow, i have been losing only 1lb per week, i have lost 7lbs so far. I know that is a loss, but its a pathetic attempt really.
I know i could lose more, but i am scared to exercise!! If i break any sort of sweat, i panic, petrified that my mum was sweating a lot when she died so i automatically think that this is the start of a heart attack. How can i get round this?? I need to exercise to lose weight!!
It was really warm here today, 20dg - im in Scotland so that's roasting LOL. But instead of enjoying the nice day i was anxious as i was too warm and i kept thinking that as everyone else was not complaining about it, i was warmer than them so therefore that was not normal so it might have been the start of the sweating before the heart attack strikes!
My anxiety gives me lots of symptoms, but the most common ones are - lightheaded, nausea, sweaty and weakness and of course these are all things that my mum felt before she died and my brain is 100% convinced that when i get these feelings i am going to die like she did.
Now from the moment i open my eyes in the morning and before i have even sat up in bed i am anxious about if i will be alive by the end of the day. And when i go to bed i am scared to sleep, scared that i will not wake up, i cant sleep unless i watch something on the tv until i drift off, and when i wake up - thankful that i have survived the night - the cycle starts again!!!
I just cant get off this never ending anxiety roundabout
:weep:
sorry for the long post.
I am having problems......Ive went from having some health anxiety to it now starting to take over my whole day.
Just want to let you know before reading further, im writing down how my mum died so if your sensitive to that then please don't read anymore.
My mum died suddenly 4 years ago, aged 54 from a sudden heart attack out of the blue. She was a reasonably healthy person but did smoke. I was not present when it happened but i was at the hospital when they pronounced her dead, she was at a friends house and the story her friend told me was - my mum was helping her friend move stuff in her house when she said she felt unwell, she said she was dizzy and felt sick and then she went to the bathroom and was sick quite a bit, when she came out she was very pale and sweating really bad and could hardly walk so she got her to lie down on the couch where she started to moan and then said she had chest pain. Her friend went to my aunts house which was just round the corner and she went round and told them to call an ambulance. It came and took her to hospital (this is when i was then called and i went to the hospital straight away) I was called at 11pm and her time of death was just after midnight so there was not that much time between everything happening.
The doctors gave no explanation for her death, just kept saying as she smoked that was why it had happened, there was no autopsy which now i regret not insisting there was one, if only i had known then how bad this would have effected me, knowing for sure what happened would've given me the much needed closure i seek so badly now.
I was the eldest daughter so the organizing of her funeral and sorting out her house was down to me and i don't think her death really hit me until a few months later when i just broke down upon waking one morning and ever since then my health anxiety has slowly taken over my life.
I am now scared every day that i am going to drop down dead like my mum did, after all she was fine 3 hours earlier when i had been with her!!!
The only thing the doctors have said i have is that I have ectopic beats - a recent 24 hour holter picked up i had 608 of them in that 24 hour period - and of course every time i feel one, i panic thinking "Did mum have any of these before she died?" "Is this the start of a heart attack?"
I am overweight, in fact im obese, i hate it, im so disgusted with my body i just look at it and weep, i really really want to lose weight and i have been trying, but its so very slow, i have been losing only 1lb per week, i have lost 7lbs so far. I know that is a loss, but its a pathetic attempt really.
I know i could lose more, but i am scared to exercise!! If i break any sort of sweat, i panic, petrified that my mum was sweating a lot when she died so i automatically think that this is the start of a heart attack. How can i get round this?? I need to exercise to lose weight!!
It was really warm here today, 20dg - im in Scotland so that's roasting LOL. But instead of enjoying the nice day i was anxious as i was too warm and i kept thinking that as everyone else was not complaining about it, i was warmer than them so therefore that was not normal so it might have been the start of the sweating before the heart attack strikes!
My anxiety gives me lots of symptoms, but the most common ones are - lightheaded, nausea, sweaty and weakness and of course these are all things that my mum felt before she died and my brain is 100% convinced that when i get these feelings i am going to die like she did.
Now from the moment i open my eyes in the morning and before i have even sat up in bed i am anxious about if i will be alive by the end of the day. And when i go to bed i am scared to sleep, scared that i will not wake up, i cant sleep unless i watch something on the tv until i drift off, and when i wake up - thankful that i have survived the night - the cycle starts again!!!
I just cant get off this never ending anxiety roundabout
:weep:
sorry for the long post.