New here! Not new to anxiety, sadly. :(

[JohnnyTruant]

Hi! I'm Johnny, 24, and I've been struggling with anxiety for as long as I can remember. In my younger years it manifested as severe OCD, and then panic disorder, and generalized anxiety. I've gone through every possible health worry -- brain tumors, cancer, retinal detachment, asthma, renal failure, and now I'm stuck on heart disease (it's been one of my recurring worries). Hilariously enough, I'm afraid to masturbate because I'm afraid it'll trigger a heart attack. Had multiple ECGs, ER check-ups, seen a cardiologist once (but a handful of years ago, and you know how the comfort of a visit 'expires' in your mind!) and all ruled out heart problems, but I can't shake off the idea. I can walk up stairs with minimal inconvenience (tiny bit breathless, nothing significant, possibly the fact I sit on my butt a lot) and walk and carry my bags, but for some reason I've linked this fear to masturbation and freak out at the idea of sex itself. Sorry if this is TMI! I'm also constantly worrying about something, it's taxing and takes the joy of out my life. I've been diagnosed with gastritis and been put on Nexium now. The fear of sudden death stalks me, and I'm so sick of it that sometimes I want to just cry my eyes out. I'm sorry for unloading all of this here, but I wasn't sure how to introduce myself without, y'know, putting in a bit of a rant. This is the first messageboard I've ever joined, looking forward to getting to know all of you!

[spuder]

hi :welcome: to nmp

[nomorepanic]

Hi JohnnyTruant

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[mumx3boys]

Hi Johnny, goodness me , I am a 45yr old lady who has suffered anxiety since your age...too long! I guess I am on hear so that I may share some of my experiences with people suffering like you and I also still get the odd bit of therapy through particularly difficult times. I think at some stage through our life we become more in tune with our body's and listen to it more. For some people this starts early and others later in life. We start to listen to aches, pains, tingling, stabbing pains etc. those of us who are vulnerable to an overly active imagination will start as you and I did to think that pain in my head is obviously a brain tumor , that stabbing pain in my chest must be heart disease , that ache in my tummy must be stomach cancer. I have been through it all and come out the other side with knowledge and understanding. I have researched lots too. My best advice would be to find a really good cognitive hypnotherapist , someone you can talk to and completely get your worries and past etc off your chest. Please ask me about any of your concerns as it looks like you and I have had similar anxiety history.
Kindest Regards

Sarah