View Full Version : Cancelled holiday - feel a failure
Hubby and I were meant to be going on holiday two weeks today, but this morning I've had to call and cancel it as I just don't feel up to going :sad: We booked it in January, before I started having these panic attacks, but right now I really believe it would be a mistake to go. I'm getting there, with the help of CBT4Panic, but I think a week away would be too big a step at the moment. I'm hopeful of a refund because they're sending me a form to have signed by my Dr (who I saw about the panic attacks recently) as they cover illness as a reason for refundable cancellations, so I think maybe we'll spend the week (and the refund money) making day-trips instead so I can practice my CBT in smaller chunks.
Hubby is being his usual supportive self (god only knows what I did to deserve him!), but I do feel that I've let him down, and that I'm a disappointment and a coward, and I daren't tell my parents/sister yet because I know they will disapprove - only because they're disappointed for me, of course, but it still makes me feel an awful failure to see their reactions :sad:
what a shame hun where were u supposed to be going. i suffer from panic attaks and in july i thought take the bull by the horns i went to canary islands all my myself i had a few panic attaks over there but i just went back to my room and read my kindle or listened to music i was so proud of myself when i came home my panic attaks have now gone less. i hope u get a full refund hun and that u can start to recover and have a brill hols next year.
It was only to Shrewsbury, but at the moment some days I can't even contemplate going into my local city, and just yesterday I felt a panic attack starting in my local pub. I know that you shouldn't adopt avoidance behaviours, but at the same time I know that CBT4Panic recommends breaking things down into manageable chunks to 'practice' with, and I just don't feel like a week away from home is manageable at the moment. Hopefully some days out will be, and then maybe a weekend away after that, to build up to a full week.
my hubby lives and works in shrewsbury. i hope u can get on the road to recovery hun all the best xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:bighug1:
That's ashame but if you don't feel confident enough to go then there's no point. You would only feel more anxious, panic, make it worse and fear ever going away again. You are definitely not a failure.
Best to get yourself to a point where you feel you can hack longer periods of time away from home. Days out are a great way to challenge yourself but book a holiday for next year and use it as a goal.
I'm going to Tunisia in 2 weeks and although I'm not dreading it I do worry about how I'm going to cope if I have symptoms. My symptoms appear out of the blue even when I'm not feeling anxious and they make me feel like crap. I'm hoping that I'll be so excited and distracted that they'll bypass me for 2 weeks... but it doesn't always work that way. Hope you feel better soon. xx
Anxious_gal
24-08-12, 13:57
I find once you're on holidays you cope pretty good.
It's the getting there that's hard :p
Maybe do something fun, go out for a nice meal or have a take away at home and rent a good movie, get dressed up and share a bottle of wine ;)
so sorry to hear u cancelled your holiday cos u think u wont cope i.m sure u will get a refund if u up to it do the day trips but i.m going away in sep i.m scared i wont be able to cope but i.m going weather i like it or not it the only way to get better to push my self to do this next time u book a hol do it as u never know u might enjoy it
Hubby and I were meant to be going on holiday two weeks today, but this morning I've had to call and cancel it as I just don't feel up to going :sad: We booked it in January, before I started having these panic attacks, but right now I really believe it would be a mistake to go. I'm getting there, with the help of CBT4Panic, but I think a week away would be too big a step at the moment. I'm hopeful of a refund because they're sending me a form to have signed by my Dr (who I saw about the panic attacks recently) as they cover illness as a reason for refundable cancellations, so I think maybe we'll spend the week (and the refund money) making day-trips instead so I can practice my CBT in smaller chunks.
Hubby is being his usual supportive self (god only knows what I did to deserve him!), but I do feel that I've let him down, and that I'm a disappointment and a coward, and I daren't tell my parents/sister yet because I know they will disapprove - only because they're disappointed for me, of course, but it still makes me feel an awful failure to see their reactions :sad:
It's a brave step you've made Elle-Kay, you've shown guts, try not to beat yourself up about it. Yes, in an ideal world you'd go on holiday and have a great time but we don't live in that world and you currently have anxiety that would make going on holiday unenjoyable - please don't think of yourself as a coward. Anybody would rather go on holiday and enjoy it than cancel it, if others disapprove its because they don't understand the pure terror of panic, try not to worry about them - concentrate on getting you better.
I've planned holidays and gone through with them but counted every day, sometimes every hour and minute until I get home again yet other times I've relaxed and enjoyed them immensely. Holidays when you're not feeling well can be a real struggle, I think you'll know when you're up to it and will enjoy holidays once more.
Your plan of making smaller trips sounds good, hope you enjoy your week.
Love Sam
A shame, but as you say not all lost. It sounds to me that you are punishing yourself now for cancelling? I don't know what is worse feeling this guilt or feeling panic. I also think you have to define small chunks for the future. Is a week away a small chunk when compared to a life of controlling anxiety? This would have been a great opportunity to try your new skills and meet your demons head on only to find that they are not so scary after all. May be to make you feel less guilt you should set yourself a number of smaller challenges now so you feel you are making progress and not stepping backwards on your road to recovery?
Mee
I totally feel for you Elle. I managed a day trip to the sea side last week and couldn't even eat lunch I was so anxious being away from home. I am glad I did go though as though I can't say I really enjoyed it and clock watched all day long, I wanted to do it to try and fight this anxiety thing but it was horrible ): My Parents are arranging another day trip now to Blackpool illuminataions and I am already dreading it but will probs try and go through with it again but I know I could never face a whole week either at this present time as the one time I did, years ago when I first started with panic and anxiety soon after my little boy was born, we hired a caravan for a week and I ended up at the hospital. It's amazing how stressful something that would normally be so great can be isn't it but don't feel a failure as you aren't, you are just ill darl and there's loads of people here who defo understand exactly how you feel and how much you'd love that magic wand and be able to go on that holiday (:
little.miss.worry
29-08-12, 19:05
I understand where you are coming from! If you don't feel up to it, then it's for the best :) because I just got back from Florida and my anxiety totally ruined it for me! I still have the symptoms from it now and it's been 3 weeks since it started and it's proper getting me down...about the trips that is the safest option for you at the moment..when these panic attacks go re-book another holiday and see how you feel! :)
Scrumptious
01-09-12, 17:59
[QUOTE=karenp;1031933]I totally feel for you Elle. I managed a day trip to the sea side last week and couldn't even eat lunch I was so anxious being away from home. I am glad I did go though as though I can't say I really enjoyed it and clock watched all day long, I wanted to do it to try and fight this anxiety thing but it was horrible ): My Parents are arranging another day trip now to Blackpool illuminataions and I am already dreading it but will probs try and go through with it again but I know I could never face a whole week either at this present time as the one time I did, years ago when I first started with panic and anxiety soon after my little boy was born, we hired a caravan for a week and I ended up at the hospital. It's amazing how stressful something that would normally be so great can be isn't it but don't feel a failure as you aren't, you are just ill darl and there's loads of people here who defo understand exactly how you feel and how much you'd love that magic wand and be able to go on that holiday (:[/QUOTE
Reading your words made me feel as if I'm not the only person in the world who is going through this terrible ordeal, that I shouldn't feel I'm stupid or selfish. My days out/holidays are just the same. I count down until I go home. I look at others who are relaxed & laughing thinking why carnt I be like that!
Elle
Don't beat yourself up about cancelling your holiday, be proud you made a decision based on the fact you weren't ready for it yet. You will get there, but one step at a time
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---------- Post added at 17:59 ---------- Previous post was at 17:56 ----------
[QUOTE=Scrumptious;1033145][QUOTE=karenp;1031933]I totally feel for you Elle. I managed a day trip to the sea side last week and couldn't even eat lunch I was so anxious being away from home. I am glad I did go though as though I can't say I really enjoyed it and clock watched all day long, I wanted to do it to try and fight this anxiety thing but it was horrible ): My Parents are arranging another day trip now to Blackpool illuminataions and I am already dreading it but will probs try and go through with it again but I know I could never face a whole week either at this present time as the one time I did, years ago when I first started with panic and anxiety soon after my little boy was born, we hired a caravan for a week and I ended up at the hospital. It's amazing how stressful something that would normally be so great can be isn't it but don't feel a failure as you aren't, you are just ill darl and there's loads of people here who defo understand exactly how you feel and how much you'd love that magic wand and be able to go on that holiday (:[/QUOTE
Reading your words made me feel as if I'm not the only person in the world who is going through this terrible ordeal, that I shouldn't feel I'm stupid or selfish. My days out/holidays are just the same. I count down until I go home. I look at others who are relaxed & laughing thinking why carnt I be like that!
Elle
Don't beat yourself up about cancelling your holiday, be proud you made a decision based on the fact you weren't ready for it yet. You will get there, but one step at a time
Hello.
I went for a week to Cornwall a few weeks ago. The build up was horrendous , couldn't sleep or eat for the week before. The kids had to do my packing and literally put me in the car. Within a few days I settled down and sorta managed to enjoy myself...
Then found getting back home was unsettling ...
X
There was no point in pushing yourself if it was going to make you ill. Yes, you do have to face things to get better but only in steps and only with what you feel comfortable with. You wouldn't just wake up one morning and decide to run the London marathon that day, you would need to work up to it, it's the same with anxiety. I hope you get your full refund and have some great days out with your hubbie
Hubby and I were meant to be going on holiday two weeks today, but this morning I've had to call and cancel it as I just don't feel up to going :sad: We booked it in January, before I started having these panic attacks, but right now I really believe it would be a mistake to go. I'm getting there, with the help of CBT4Panic, but I think a week away would be too big a step at the moment. I'm hopeful of a refund because they're sending me a form to have signed by my Dr (who I saw about the panic attacks recently) as they cover illness as a reason for refundable cancellations, so I think maybe we'll spend the week (and the refund money) making day-trips instead so I can practice my CBT in smaller chunks.
Hubby is being his usual supportive self (god only knows what I did to deserve him!), but I do feel that I've let him down, and that I'm a disappointment and a coward, and I daren't tell my parents/sister yet because I know they will disapprove - only because they're disappointed for me, of course, but it still makes me feel an awful failure to see their reactions :sad:
I am really sorry you cancelled your holiday and unfortunately I know how you feel. We booked a holiday with friends and because of pressure from my husband I left it until three hours before we were going to fly. I have never got over letting them down and they never understood. Why do people close to you never understand what it is like to feel fear every day. Deep down we are strong people because we cope with our feelings day in day out. All I can say is that since then I have been on holiday several times with my husband or with other people. Its not always easy but I am now a stronger person able to cope with fear and panic.
Natalie1986
04-09-12, 22:27
I am meant to be going to Spain in mid October for 4 nights with some girlfriends. I'm.petrified of going and how I'm going to feel about flying and being away from home. Im thinking I may have to cancel my place :( I'm so mad with myself in 2008 I travelled around the world, I even flew the first leg to Australia on my own and I'm so disappointed!
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