Obssesed with cancer

[Harrison Chase]

I've just had to cut short a three day break ( after one day ) and come home.

My IBS symptoms flared up (pain only) , also tiredness , anxiety and being over-emotional.

I can't stop obssesing in my mind that I may have cancer and I am going to be parted from my loved ones.

My blood & stool samples came back fine , so my GP won't send me for any more tests. I've seen a few doctors and none of them seem concerned.

I have been sticking to a bland diet - which is adding to my misery. Even when I go for a 30 minute walk it seems to make it worse.

I think reassurance re my health would help my anxiety , I'm not worried about other areas of my life.

I need to get piece of mind and move on . How ? .

[sydno]

Hi there, I am sorry to hear you had to cut a break short but I do know how you feel, I obsess about cancer too, from colon to ovarian and everything in between. My tests and labs come back fine too but I can never be reassured, something else always comes up and then I focus on that symptom and my own "diagnosis". Have you tried CBT? I am working with someone right now and she is very helpful. When I am feeling especially anxious, distraction works for me, I lose myself in a great movie or a funny book even if I have seen or read it before. Are you taking anything for you anxiety/IBS? I am on day 10 of Lexapro and my symptoms both physically and emotionally seem to be lessening. I also don't worry over other aspects in my life, just health. I feel for you and hope you find some relief and reassurance soon!! take care and be well!!!!

[Harrison Chase]

Thanks for your reply. Yes , I am undergoing CBT therapy. I'm not sure if it's working at the moment because I'm still obsessing.
The distraction thing does work for me too , but only for a short while. Even when I'm watching TV or a movie , I still keep thinking about my health.
I'm not on anti depressants - they scare me to be honest . I have been taking 2mg of diazepam a day since a bad panic attack last week . To be honest , I'm getting sick of those , feeling a bit drugged.

I just want to be my old self , where I was a couple of months ago . I believe I have brought this on myself by worrying about silly things and OCD behaviour.

The Doctors don't seem too concerned but considering I feel so bad , I keep thinking 'It must be something more'.

[sydno]

it's the loop-symptom arises, we are hyper-sensitive to any pain, bump, bruise, mole etc.. assume worst case scenario and then cannot re direct our thoughts to anything but the perceived problem or in our case fatal disease, boy do I know what you are feeling. Distraction works for a short amount of time but I just keep finding things to keep me moving, the moment I am still with my own thoughts they turn to the "cancer" I am sure I have and that the dr's have missed or I think "this just doesn't feel right, maybe this time it's for real". I too was reluctant to get on meds but I felt the anxiety was just too overwhelming and taking over my life, couldn't think of anything else and couldn't enjoy the things I normally do, so here I am. I do find this site helpful and reassuring too. I think I have developed IBS because of this health anxiety (ironic) so now I am always thinking I have colon cancer because of all the crazy digestive symptoms. I teach and practice yoga and when I can motivate myself to do so (practice on my own) that helps too!! If you need to chat, I'm here anytime.

[Louise36]

The reason we don't worry about anything else in our lives is because we font ha e the time as so much time is spent on health anxiety... I too am cancer phobic and constantly think I have one type or another. I would be slightly reassured by blood tests and occult tests coming back clear as colon cancers oftenbleed so they would have found something there. I do understand how you feel as I've been through the colon cancer one many times. I ended up having to go private to have a colonoscopy bcos I was so worried about tiny changes to my stools. But now i'm not obsessing over colon I can now see that I blew it out of all proportion bcos of anxiety. Anxiety can do strange things to you including ins, tiredness, weakness, depression etc etc the list is endless. Take care. Louise.

[sydno]

louise, it seems that I forget about the HA and just convince myself that whatever physical symptom I am feeling couldn't possibly be because of the HA, that it has to be far more sinister. The last few days I have had a low rib into my belly on the left side that twinges and I constantly aware of a slight discomfort there along with some left side mid back pain and a change in my stools too so I am just going to schedule the colonoscopy but am terrified. my mom was diagnosed at 69 with colon cancer but is just fine and she is 70, no chemo just surgery and my dr thinks I should have one anyway because of her history so now I just can't think of anything else. oh and by the way-last month was breast and ovarian cancer-ugh.

[pringles]

Harrison
I suffer from Ibs as well. I had blood tests done and they were all clear. If the doctors were concerned they would be on the phone the next day arranging appointments for you to see specialists. Anxiety is awful and it plays so many games with your head. No one can say don't worry about it as its a very real thing. I suggest go to your doctors and tell him/her that you have this fear that you have bowel cancer and you want tests to rule it out once and for all as everyday you are going through this pain and anxiety. CBT helps for different types of people but the problem with this type of anxiety is that only tests can help us feel more positive about our particular health problem. good luck

[Harrison Chase]

I've already asked to go for more tests and he said he won't because I don't meet the criteria . I've pre-booked an appointment with my own GP , I'm hoping to get more sense out of him .

IBS makes more sense really , I've been on edge and anxious for about a year . I also have OCD which usually manifests itself around locking up in the morning . For the last six weeks or so it has changed to Health Anxiety.

I lost my Dad , who was 49 , nine years ago to Esophageal cancer . I think that this is playing on my mind a lot and is a factor too.

It's weird , I have so much going for me at the moment - I can't believe this has hit me now.

I have had so many symptoms of anxiety over the past couple of months , IBS-type stuff , Globus , panic attacks , back ache ,'adrenaline jolts' when falling asleep , dizziness , nausea.

I'm hoping that soon someone will give me the reassurance I need and it will 'sink in'. This is ruining my life at the moment . I need to find the strength to be more positive.

Thank you all for your replies xx

[pringles]

Harrison
Im with you completely on this. I never had any type of health anxiety until two years ago when after i got back from america I started getting cramps and loose bowels every morning. My gp said if i hadn't shred a load of weight or got any blood from that area then it was its and believe it or not my anxiety vanished straight away. It only came back in april when i had tests and they came back clear.
There are over a hundred different symptoms of anxiety ones you even think can't possibly be caused by anxiety. Its a vicious circle.
You have to be firm and say that at the end of the day its YOUR body and YOU are feeling this way. Not sure if you have an iPod but there are some motivational podcasts you can get to listen to when you are having a bad day. They are by Richard Nicholls
Hope this helps :)

[Louise36]

Yes I also go from one cancer to another, so far this yr I have thought I've had sinus c, mouth c, throat c, oesophagus c (which is still ongoing), lung c (don't even smoke) etc etc etc. It's so tiring. I also forget about the symptoms of anxiety when I'm in a panic, but can clearly see them when people post on here!!!
Harrison, I'm not surprised you are suffering with cancer anxiety- what with your dad passing away aged 49 and to my worst fear cancer... Be strong and don't let your head rule your body. Louise.

---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:41 ----------

Sydno, I've had twinges in bowel area,.. lower back, change to stools etc and had colonoscopy and nothing was found. I know these things really do flair up with ha. I suppose if your doc has said to have one maybe you should, but I bet nothing will be found. 69 is a far older age than u are and cancer does unfortunately happen to older people... If your docs were that concerned they would have already called you in to have a test.

[sydno]

Harrison, I am sorry to hear about your Father, that alone is so much for one to bear. I know how you feel, the HA just seems to take over; consuming thoughts and hard to concentrate on anything else but keep in mind that anxiety is a very powerful thing and can create very real physical symptoms in the body, things we don't even think of or would associate with anxiety but it happens, digestive issues are a big one everything from cramps to nausea and everything in between. Perhaps the appt with your GP with give you some peace of mind especially if you tell him/her exactly what you are feeling. I told my therapist the other day-"I forget how powerful our thoughts are in relation to the physical body, if I could only turn the thoughts around to positive ones", easier said than done, I know. I sure hope you are feeling better soon!!
@Louise36-thank you for your reassurance re: the ibs symptoms, I am just going to take action and get the colonoscopy done, at least I will be able to take that off my list.

[Harrison Chase]

Thanks for you're replies.

I am really struggling this morning. I have been awake since about 4.30 with my stomach churning.
I've notice if I lay on my left side in bed I get palpatations. Theres another worry.


My wife thinks this is all anxiety , I am not so sure.

I am unhappy with my treatment at my health centre . If I knew what my stomach illness was , maybe I'd calm down.