How to explain How I feel to BF

[MardyBum]

My bf of 6 years doesnt get PA or my Anx...

how they hell do I make him see i dont decide I dont want to go out that I would love to feel normal? That this fear grips me in a way I cant control..

Im scared this is going to break us up as he has no idea what to do to help, how im like this and that this isnt a choice?

[GunMetal]

I'm in the same boat as you hun. My boyfriend is great, he'll hold my hand and give me a cuddle when i get anxious. But he doesn't know how to talk to me about it and doesn't know how to reassure me. He just thinks that i've felt anxious before so therefore i shouldn't get anxious anymore as i know what it feels like. He doesn't get that there's an irrational side of my brain that refuses to listen!
Maybe instead of talking to him about the anxiety and trying to get him to understand (which i honestly think nobody who hasn't suffered it can ever really understand), maybe talk to him about your fear of it breaking you up and explain that it doesn't affect you wanting to be with him.

Hope this helps in any way

Jenni xx

[markiemark]

Hey mardybum

When I have a panic attack, my gf is the only person I want to be with as I feel that I cannot cope with one without her. She calms me down and stands by me for support. This Is because she is the only person I feel 'comfortable' with when having a PA as she knows how to react to calm me down.
Maybe you should tell your bf that you need him to calm you down and that it does help you but he needs to understand from your point of view. Tell him the fact that if it is breaking you up it will make you more stressed which you don't want.

Talk to him and tell him that you need him to be the most supportive one as you spend most time with him. He may find it difficult which you will have to understand, but hopefully if he cares for you then he should do anything to help and reassure.

Me and my gf were in the same boat as you are now. But once I explained that I needed her to reassure me more than anyone, she saw my views and has become my rock.

I also advise that your bf read up a little on Panic attacks and the symptoms and how to control them. There are scripts within this website which are for relatives of those who have panic attacks.

Hope this all helps and good luck with the relationship