the8th
26-07-06, 23:18
It's been over 3 months now since I stopped my anti-depressants (Paxil). I did not have any major withdrawal and I was barely on them (I took it very erratically but I was on them for a VERY long time - 8 years).
Things got really bad 3 weeks after I stopped.
- I have constant anxiety feelings - jittery, restless, can't get mind to shut up, nervousness
- I seem to break out into tears pretty often
- I'm having a new obsessive fear every few days which seems to replace the last one or add on to others. I get a lot of intrusive thoughts that scare me and have a lot of thoughts that don't make any sense which also scare me.. I feel like I am losing my mind and I am analysing way too much what I am thinking and confusing myself at points. I feel depersonalised sometimes and am surprised by the sound of my voice and am surprised by the fact that I can carry on conversations and react to things normally because it feels like chaos in here.
- I get very tired half way into the day and my head feels like dead space but the OCD thoughts still pop in
- My boyfriend says I am quieter and more distant now.
- I try to keep busy by doing something, anything during the day to help.
I'm really quite scared. I am going to make an appointment with a therapist soon.. but I just wish I knew that this would end soon? I am just not used to feeling this messed up all the time. I am used to feeling kinda messed up but.. just not like this...
I'm taking a complex B vitamin in liquid. chewable multi-vitamins. omega 3 fish oil (the actual oil heh), some scull cap tea and valerian tincture, Rescue Remedy. I don't know if anything is actually helping or not. Apparently I don't snore anymore and I don't sleep very deeply either. I wake up with what feels like too many thoughts buzzing around in my head, not making sense and I feel my body is very tense.
on top of that there's the fact that I feel like my life is going nowhere and that I'm a huge failure. it seems like the only thing anti depressants did was numb me to the fact that my life was miserable an dI did nothing to change it. now it just feels like I can't.
:( am I going crazy?
Things got really bad 3 weeks after I stopped.
- I have constant anxiety feelings - jittery, restless, can't get mind to shut up, nervousness
- I seem to break out into tears pretty often
- I'm having a new obsessive fear every few days which seems to replace the last one or add on to others. I get a lot of intrusive thoughts that scare me and have a lot of thoughts that don't make any sense which also scare me.. I feel like I am losing my mind and I am analysing way too much what I am thinking and confusing myself at points. I feel depersonalised sometimes and am surprised by the sound of my voice and am surprised by the fact that I can carry on conversations and react to things normally because it feels like chaos in here.
- I get very tired half way into the day and my head feels like dead space but the OCD thoughts still pop in
- My boyfriend says I am quieter and more distant now.
- I try to keep busy by doing something, anything during the day to help.
I'm really quite scared. I am going to make an appointment with a therapist soon.. but I just wish I knew that this would end soon? I am just not used to feeling this messed up all the time. I am used to feeling kinda messed up but.. just not like this...
I'm taking a complex B vitamin in liquid. chewable multi-vitamins. omega 3 fish oil (the actual oil heh), some scull cap tea and valerian tincture, Rescue Remedy. I don't know if anything is actually helping or not. Apparently I don't snore anymore and I don't sleep very deeply either. I wake up with what feels like too many thoughts buzzing around in my head, not making sense and I feel my body is very tense.
on top of that there's the fact that I feel like my life is going nowhere and that I'm a huge failure. it seems like the only thing anti depressants did was numb me to the fact that my life was miserable an dI did nothing to change it. now it just feels like I can't.
:( am I going crazy?