Annie-pannie
29-08-12, 13:56
I cannot believe that I finally came across this site. I have been doing so much research on how I feel.
I fear losing my children. I fear it so badly that I cannot breathe sometimes. I wish that I could be like other people and live a happy life but I worry all the time. I even do rituals in case something goes wrong - like I have to kiss goodbye, I never scold my children in case it is my last day with them.
To some degree the fear is a good thing because it makes me more cautious but I constantly have this pit in my stomache that makes me feel ill at times.
I first thought I obsessed about this fear because I was trying to prepare myself for the feeling I would have in case I lost them. Then I thought I was obsessed because a higher power was trying to tell me to prepare myself. I finally realised its just anxiety !!! major anxiety that gives me all imaginings of all different scenarios of how my children could die.
I even gone to the extent of googling grieving mother sites to try and establish if they manage to live with their grief in case I become one of them. It is so morbid and yet I'm obsessed with it.
I hope that being part of this site would be like a support group and hopefully help me to live with this anxiety more easily...
I fear losing my children. I fear it so badly that I cannot breathe sometimes. I wish that I could be like other people and live a happy life but I worry all the time. I even do rituals in case something goes wrong - like I have to kiss goodbye, I never scold my children in case it is my last day with them.
To some degree the fear is a good thing because it makes me more cautious but I constantly have this pit in my stomache that makes me feel ill at times.
I first thought I obsessed about this fear because I was trying to prepare myself for the feeling I would have in case I lost them. Then I thought I was obsessed because a higher power was trying to tell me to prepare myself. I finally realised its just anxiety !!! major anxiety that gives me all imaginings of all different scenarios of how my children could die.
I even gone to the extent of googling grieving mother sites to try and establish if they manage to live with their grief in case I become one of them. It is so morbid and yet I'm obsessed with it.
I hope that being part of this site would be like a support group and hopefully help me to live with this anxiety more easily...