Has any one ever come of anti-d's and felt better

[karenp]

Ok, so in March time I realised my marriage was over as I began having panic attacks each time my Hubby was due to have a day off as I couldn't face spending any more time with him. I was totally fine on the days he was at work and was put on Lorazepam/Ativan which helped calm me down but each time a weekend arose, the panic just reared it's ugly head again, so my GP said I needed to go on an anti-d as they weren't addictive like benzos. I'd been poorly in the past and put on Citalopram but went through sheer hell on it during the start up period so refused it. Mirtazapine was suggested to me as it has a built in sedative apparently and the first week it worked a treat, I slept brilliantly and didn't have an anxious bone in my body but after a couple of weeks I started waking up feeling incredibly depressed and I'd cry buckets. By about the 4th week, I was waking up at 4am and felt like I was dying my mood was so low doubled by terrible anxiety, as soon as it was daylight, I'd have to go out walking. I finally walked out on my husband on May 19th and thought I'd be better but my new Gp told me to up the Mirt to the full doseage and 5 months later, though my mood isn't really terrible every day now, most days it's fine, the panic and anxiety has never left me and I am now on diazepam and Zopiclone because some nights I only sleep till 1am. I know I have gone through a break up (we were together 14 years) and my Husband has made the divorce absolutley terrible (it's just nasty) but I am still convinced Mirtazapine has made me miles worse instead of better. I finally persuaded my Gp to take me off it last week and am now on Trazodone, I know it's too early to rate it and I am weaning off the mirt so still have it in my blood stream but because I suffer with anxiety not exactly depression I wonder if anti-d's just over stimulate my brain and hype me up as there's not one I've ever been on where I've not become even more anxious, though I did eventually settle on Citalopram after many many months! It's just that my
sister in law recently had a baby and got pnd and was put on Prozac and she never gets anxiety as part of her depression but she said she took 3 days worth of pills and suddenly had panic attacks for the first time ever, chucked the pills and now she is fully recovered all on her own and never had another anxiety attack. I just often ask myself that if I'd never gone on an ant-d would I still be this anxious 5 months down the line or is my panic and anxiety really just down to my divorce??? Any one? :shrug:

[Tufty]

Hi Karen
It sounds like you've been going through an awful time, I do feel for you.

No easy answer to that question. I suffer with anxiety but antid's increase my anxiety - as often documented on this site but also make me depressed which I believe is caused by the medication. However, I have found that without medication I am still anxious if I have lots going on and I can imagine divorce is very anxiety provoking.
I have compromised and found that taking a very low dose SSRI (6mg Prozac daily), manage my stress levels :roflmao: and using distraction I can manage my anxiety.
Panic and anxiety are learnt feelings and thoughts, until your in a better place emotionally with your divorce those feelings will be difficult to manage and face without medication, although you will never know if you'd be better without them that's a choice only you can make.

Take Care
Love Sam x

[casswhite]

Hi karen, sorry to hear what your going through :-(. i hope things work out for you :-). After reading your post i had to mention that only today i saw my C.B.T therapist and he said because ive got type A personality ( always on the go, hyper, need to get things done) and because of this my stilulants are high so things like caffiene, nicotine dont help. He said with a'd is a huge stimulant thats why they arnt the best thing for me and made me a hole lot worse!!.

Take care, cass :-) x

[karenp]

Thanks so much for your replies, I think I am maybe going to try and come off the ant-d's and see if I am less anxious and I can always go back on them if I am still hyper. I've only been on Trazodone 2 weeks and I am still having to take Mirtazapine so I don't get withdrawel from it (now down to 15mg) but I really do believe Mirt's made me miles worse.

[nicola1980]

Hi mirtazapine made me 100 times worse to the point i was suicidal :ohmy: i suffer anxiety not depression but on the mirt i was a mess and even asked my hubby to hide all my pills from me as i was so scared id do something silly i felt that bad, i was quickly taken off it and put on venlafaxine and i now feel im finally making improvements xx

[karenp]

Oh noooo Nicola, honeslty I have said all along it's those pills that have made me miles worse but not one doctor would listen to me until I got the Crisis team in my area involved and then my doctors finally agreed to take me off the mirtazapine...I'm cutting down to 7.5mg tonight for 2 weeks, then half again and then I'm off them TG! So glad you are feeling miles better now. :D

[nicola1980]

Good luck and let us know how you get on med free, i was very tempted myself a few weeks ago but things seem to have settled down for me now xx

[karenp]

What was start up like on Venlafaxine Nicola? I've had a real crappy day going down another dose of Mirtazapine. I feel zonked and anxious and this morning I was shivering cold, plus I've felt like bursting into tears all day long, I never had any probs going from 45, to 30 to 15 either, it's very much like I felt when I first went on Mirtazapine in reverse. I never had probs coming off Citalopram, I never experienced one side effect but maybe that's because I was better and I am far from it at the mo so I may mention Venlafaxine when I see my doctor on Monday as maybe I do need something or perhaps this will just all pass in a few days time. :weep:

[Goldfinch]

Hi Karen,

Like you I have been through an absolutely horrible divorce, which I got through by taking Cipralex. Two months after we finally sold the house and I moved into a new place with the children I decided I could cope just fine without antidepressants and came off them slowly. I wasn't expecting panic attacks and anxiety to return, but within a few months they did, and I had to go through the first awful weeks on Cipralex all over again! I am now feeling on an even keel again and able to cope with the stresses and challenges of life. I don't see this as a lifetime thing, but I think we can underestimate how long the stress of divorce can last. My marriage was about the same length as yours but the divorce dragged on for some years as, like yours, my husband was really nasty. I still get flashbacks to some of the things that happened, so I'm sure my subconscious mind is still trying to deal with it. What I'm trying to say is that you may well cope better with some antidepressant for a while, if you can find one that suits you. I wish you all the best.

[karenp]

I was on Citlopram last time I was ill and was scared of how horrible it made me feel but wish I had gone back on it now, I really do. My divorce hasn't moved on at all much in 5 months, he won't even agree to it as he wants to keep hold of the house and was even going to take my little boy off me to hang onto it, he's stopped my child tax credit and everything and closed all my accounts down just to hurt me and is having to get contact rights now via a proper contact order which is all taking time and I'm dead soft and him not being able to see William (even though it's his own fault and we'd be on the street if not for my Parents taking us in) I always wanted it to be amicable as we'd mainly just grown apart but he is very obsessed by money!
I'm really struggling coming off the Mirtazapine at the mo and I've only been taking Trazodone 3 weeks so it's probs not working one tiny bit.

---------- Post added at 09:45 ---------- Previous post was at 09:45 ----------

thanks by the way (: