Chillyfree
31-08-12, 02:23
Hello everyone! :) I really want to share my experience about my anxiety this year and see if anyone can relate to my story and if anyone can give me guidance for the future that would be much obliged! I'm a 19 year old guy if anyone is wondering.
Ok, where to begin? let me think. Basically, my whole anxiety/panic attacks began in January shortly after having a virus that lasted about three months. (Freshers flu really got me). I remember it all happened randomly, I was sitting on my bed with my laptop and all of a sudden I started to feel 'weird'. I can recall feeling tingly all around my body at first and then all of a sudden my heart was going crazy and all I could do was pace to calm the feeling. This happened continuously over the next few days. So I went to see a doctor.
I was first told by the doctor that after having these continuous panic attacks, which I didn't know what they were at the time, that it was probably my body getting over the virus and that I should just drink water. So that's what I did and funnily enough it all went away. Then about a month later, it all happened out of nowhere the feeling in my body and my heart racing like I was going to die and again all I would do is pace.
I went back to the doctor and this time I was given diazepam to calm me. So one night after having the feeling of a panic attack coming on I took a pill. It made me feel even worse. Even less in control, it was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. After about a week again of having these panic attacks, which made my head feel cloudy and my body completely exhausted, they yet again all disappeared.
This time about 3 weeks of feeling "normal" again the panic attacks returned to probably the worst degree. I could not sleep at all as my body was panicky continuously. I was continuously shaking my right leg, which sometimes I didn't even realise till my friends picked up on it. I remember one night just pacing my room from about 12pm-7am and not being able to sleep as I was so panicky to the point I had to ring my mother to collect me from uni as I couldn't deal with this anymore. I went back to the doctors and this time I was taken for blood tests to rule out a few things and in particular my thyroid.
The tests came back clear apart from my thyroid. However, my doctor said something on the lines of "your thyroid isn't what it should be but it's not bad enough to be the problem". She recommended that I see a councillor and prescribed me a low dosage of propranolol. The anxiety and panic attacks went away about 2 weeks afterwards. The councillor I was seeing was really helpful in dealing with the attacks and teaching me how to calm myself but I couldn't help but think that she almost telling me she thought I might have something more medically wrong with me than anxiety itself as she recommended going back to the doctor repeatedly .
After a while, I developed this feeling that I was constantly 'dropping', that my balance would suddenly feel like it wasn't right and yet again nothing would really trigger this, it would be out of the blue. However it did happen a lot when I was in lectures. So maybe it would happen as I felt that I couldn't escape? After going through this cloudy head, dropping sensation phase which lasted a few weeks, my anxiety stopped. I would still get the odd panic here and there, but I could deal with it and I felt my life was coming back together and this good period lasted a few months.
Then the panic attacks came back again, and I was having pains everywhere especially my shoulders and chest. However, this time I was dealing with it much better and the attacks wouldn't make my head feel cloudy for days like they used to. I went back to the doctor again and was told that I have 'health anxiety' and possibly CFS.
Again the panic attacks would go, but this time my thoughts were going crazy. I literally thought I was losing my mind as some of the stuff I was thinking was ridiculous, though it didn't seem it at the time. Speaking with my councillor did seem to improve these thoughts and stop me getting so stressed and panicky.
My anxiety left again for a few months till recently about a month ago where I had the worst panic attack of my life. I thought I was going to die at one point. I felt I couldn't move and I was exhausted afterwards. My head was cloudy for a week and I felt I wasn't breathing right. I went to a different doctor this time as I'm now living back home for the summer and I have been prescribed 'citalopram'.
I'm now suffering from another problem. I'm petrified of taking these drugs. I have tried to take them but every time I put a pill to my lips I feel like a panic attack is going to happen. Does anyone else suffer from this?
I know this post is crazily long but I have carried this on my chest for so long and need to talk to people who may suffer like I do. I know these pills might help me but something just stops me every time. Does anyone experience periods of anxiety coming and going? I don't know why I feel anxious about anything really, I'm really happy with life. Thank you. :D
Ok, where to begin? let me think. Basically, my whole anxiety/panic attacks began in January shortly after having a virus that lasted about three months. (Freshers flu really got me). I remember it all happened randomly, I was sitting on my bed with my laptop and all of a sudden I started to feel 'weird'. I can recall feeling tingly all around my body at first and then all of a sudden my heart was going crazy and all I could do was pace to calm the feeling. This happened continuously over the next few days. So I went to see a doctor.
I was first told by the doctor that after having these continuous panic attacks, which I didn't know what they were at the time, that it was probably my body getting over the virus and that I should just drink water. So that's what I did and funnily enough it all went away. Then about a month later, it all happened out of nowhere the feeling in my body and my heart racing like I was going to die and again all I would do is pace.
I went back to the doctor and this time I was given diazepam to calm me. So one night after having the feeling of a panic attack coming on I took a pill. It made me feel even worse. Even less in control, it was definitely one of the worst experiences of my life. After about a week again of having these panic attacks, which made my head feel cloudy and my body completely exhausted, they yet again all disappeared.
This time about 3 weeks of feeling "normal" again the panic attacks returned to probably the worst degree. I could not sleep at all as my body was panicky continuously. I was continuously shaking my right leg, which sometimes I didn't even realise till my friends picked up on it. I remember one night just pacing my room from about 12pm-7am and not being able to sleep as I was so panicky to the point I had to ring my mother to collect me from uni as I couldn't deal with this anymore. I went back to the doctors and this time I was taken for blood tests to rule out a few things and in particular my thyroid.
The tests came back clear apart from my thyroid. However, my doctor said something on the lines of "your thyroid isn't what it should be but it's not bad enough to be the problem". She recommended that I see a councillor and prescribed me a low dosage of propranolol. The anxiety and panic attacks went away about 2 weeks afterwards. The councillor I was seeing was really helpful in dealing with the attacks and teaching me how to calm myself but I couldn't help but think that she almost telling me she thought I might have something more medically wrong with me than anxiety itself as she recommended going back to the doctor repeatedly .
After a while, I developed this feeling that I was constantly 'dropping', that my balance would suddenly feel like it wasn't right and yet again nothing would really trigger this, it would be out of the blue. However it did happen a lot when I was in lectures. So maybe it would happen as I felt that I couldn't escape? After going through this cloudy head, dropping sensation phase which lasted a few weeks, my anxiety stopped. I would still get the odd panic here and there, but I could deal with it and I felt my life was coming back together and this good period lasted a few months.
Then the panic attacks came back again, and I was having pains everywhere especially my shoulders and chest. However, this time I was dealing with it much better and the attacks wouldn't make my head feel cloudy for days like they used to. I went back to the doctor again and was told that I have 'health anxiety' and possibly CFS.
Again the panic attacks would go, but this time my thoughts were going crazy. I literally thought I was losing my mind as some of the stuff I was thinking was ridiculous, though it didn't seem it at the time. Speaking with my councillor did seem to improve these thoughts and stop me getting so stressed and panicky.
My anxiety left again for a few months till recently about a month ago where I had the worst panic attack of my life. I thought I was going to die at one point. I felt I couldn't move and I was exhausted afterwards. My head was cloudy for a week and I felt I wasn't breathing right. I went to a different doctor this time as I'm now living back home for the summer and I have been prescribed 'citalopram'.
I'm now suffering from another problem. I'm petrified of taking these drugs. I have tried to take them but every time I put a pill to my lips I feel like a panic attack is going to happen. Does anyone else suffer from this?
I know this post is crazily long but I have carried this on my chest for so long and need to talk to people who may suffer like I do. I know these pills might help me but something just stops me every time. Does anyone experience periods of anxiety coming and going? I don't know why I feel anxious about anything really, I'm really happy with life. Thank you. :D