Is this it ?

[Shaneb]

Ok so the first step to recovery is actually speaking about it as they say
So here goes:

It all started about 7 years ago now
I went from being a very happy, confident out going person to feeling sick and dizzy when i went out
I already had a partner at this time and trying to talk to someone about something i did not know was hard enough, Let alone trying to get her to understand

At first i did not have a clue what was wrong and did the wrong thing, I just stopped going out instead of actually going to my doctors

So for the next 6 years went downhill from there really
I eventually lost my friends due to making silly excuses to not go out or round and visit them
My fault for not telling them but how do you tell someone personal issues when you feel embarrassed ?
I did not even go to the doctors or tell my parents, My partner eventually tried to understand but i dare say others here know, Most people do not have any understanding of depression/anxiety,etc

So me and my partner broke up after 9 years together with my issues being a major part in it all
Not being able to take her out for meals or to the local pub put a big strain on our relationship
Along with her getting with another partner 2 weeks after we broke up destroyed me

So i finally decided to go to the doctors as every day was a struggle, Not sleeping at night due to as soon as i lay down, my mind would go into overdrive
Feeling depressed due to the anxiety and losing the love of my life and her being with another partner after 2 weeks
Waking up and feeling like all i wanted to do was not be here at all, Suicidal thoughts often came but the though of my kids was stronger

So as soon as i sat down with my doctor i actually broke down, Crying and feeling a little at ease as i had someone to talk to about it all, Even at the age of 35 i felt embarrassed but calm due to getting it off my chest

Everything in life had got to me at 1 massive point

So after months of tablets which never worked for me and even after going to see a therapist i finally gave up on finding a way to beat this

I came to the decision that this is my life now so i best get used to it

BUT, I found this site and actually talking to others with similar/same issues i feel at ease and shall be giving this depression and anxiety a big kick up the backside

What do i want out of it all ????

To make new friends who understand the issues i have and meet new people

My life is a mess at the moment but this thread is my first step at making a start to recovery

Sorry if this is the wrong forum section and for going on a tad

Shaneb

[karenp]

Hi Shane, anxiety and depression is horrible isn't it? I've suffered on and off ever since I was pregnant with my son 10 years ago. I've been great the last couple of years however but my marriage broke up in March so I'm poorly again and nothing seems to be working for me either this time around. I suppose this is the biggest thing I have been through though. I am often on this site lately as it is really great being able to contact people who ACTUALLY do know what you are feeling like, hope you feel miles better soon x

[Annie0904]

Hi Shane, Yes it is good to be able to speak to others who understand. I used to think I was the only one feeling this way and thinking I was going mad! I wish there was a quick cure but at least we have each other to talk to and get support from :hugs:

[Shaneb]

Many thanks for the warm, welcoming replies

It feels great to be here and actually chat about it all and not feel anxious that people will find it funny or just tell you "Its nothing"

I know there is no quick cure but even since yesterday when i signed up to the site i have felt a massive ease off my shoulders by talking about it with others :-)

[Allison Jayne]

Hi Shane and a warm welcome to nmp. I've not been on here long myself but have asked for advice and support a few times and can honestly say it has all been fantastic. I feel at ease coming on here, even if I don't post, just reading others replies and posts really helps me, especially knowing that everyone else feels the same. It really takes the pressure off knowing I'm not going to e told to pull my self together and get over it, or the other favourite, what have you got to be depressed/ anxious about!!! Take care Shane and I really hope you feel loads better soon x

[Shaneb]

I know exactly how you mean Allison with feeling at ease

And many thanks and hope all gets better for you also luv x

---------- Post added at 16:53 ---------- Previous post was at 16:49 ----------

Also thanks to Karen and Annie for the great replies
really welcoming and brings a smile to my face knowing others are in the same boat and not afraid to talk to others about it

[kittikat]

It all sounds very familiar, hiding away, your world closing in on you, embarassed to talk about it....you are not alone here.

This site has been a godsend for me at times and there are many friendly and supportive members ready to listen, respond, support and share experiences. I hope you get as much from being here as I have.

Good luck in your journey. Kitti :)

[Pipkin]

Hi Shane and a warm :welcome: to NMP.

You seem to have a really good understanding of how you feel and the problems it's caused you - that's really important and often takes people a long time to get there. You'll find lots of people on here who truly understand because they share your experience and it's a great feeling to find you're not on your own. And believe me, you're not!

You're quite right, although people try their best to understand, unless you've been there yourself, it's very difficult and can get quite frustrating for them.

You've had a tough time and you've come through it - now's the time for you to take the bull by the horns and turn it around, and I know this site will help you as much as it has me.

Take care

Pip

[Shaneb]

Thankyou very much Kitti and good luck to you also

And Pip i have some understanding but i can not find a cure, BUT talking about it on here and all the very warm messages i have had has given me some happiness and hope that 1 day it will not rule my life