Hi, admitting it have Health Anxiety

[polbailey]

Hi,

For over a year I think I've had Health Anxiety. It all started with a pain within my hip which I realised I'd had for years and it still hadn't gone away. I'd never really thought much of this until... a good and very young friend of mine died of Bowel Cancer. As if from nowhere I had the niggling thought that I might have bone cancer in my hip. As soon as these thoughts were in my mind the pain seemed to suddenly get worse and worse daily, until I couldn't even sleep. I was completely convinced I had bone cancer and even told my partner. I spent weeks worrying about how my kids would manage without me etc etc. I then had an xray which came back clear. I couldn't trust this and paid for a private MRI - clear again.

Since then the worry of bone cancer has reduced and I do feel more reassured than I did before the MRI but then, I got a bad chest infection and I was sure I had pneumonia or even lung cancer. The CANCER thought seems to pop in to my head regularly, daily I think. After a chest xray and several GP visits and 2 lots of antibiotics I was OK.

Until... I noticed I get a strange sensation in my throat sometimes and it often feels a bit dry. Obviously this is throat cancer! I've been given mouthwash by the GP and now have to wait 2 weeks for my next appointment. I'm glad I have understanding GPs who do take me seriously because I know I'll be referred for further tests. Although I almost know they'll come back negative (all the other tests have done), I know I MUST have them as that's the only way I might feel some reassurance. I sound quite relaxed as I write this but several times a day I become 100% convinced I have throat cancer and that my kids will have to live without their mum, with a dad who isn't great and will also suffer the death of their amazing grandmother soon (she has a disease similar to cancer which can't be cured.) I dread the thought of my kids having to adjust their lives to all of that.

I'm getting quite embarassed as I walk into our GP surgery now. I know they must be starting to wonder about me and how I can have so many problems in such a short time. I almost wonder if I should just go and fess-up and ask for help for anxiety but I am hoping tha after the throat cancer scare dies down I might be OK. Until next time!

I'm so glad to have found this site. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

:blush:

[cattttt]

You sound very sensible. There is a good reason for you to be having these thoughts now, and it would be a really good idea to explain to your gp and ask for help for anxiety, rather than keep having tests which you know will come back ok. As the death of your friend recedes into the past, you will probably find so will your fears.

[Anxious_gal]

Someone close to us getting ill, reading about people getting sick in the newspapers, the media reporting on illness, all the tv shoes that are health related and reading up on the Internet can all cause health anxiety.

People who are training in the medical field, often get a type of health anxiety. Sims from reading and learning about all the different types of illnesses.
I can't remember what it's called but it's pretty much expected that some of the students will get that type of anxiety worrying about their own health.

My mum got very sick and almost died when I was a kid .
One of her symptoms was a pain in the back of her head.
So any time I got a pain in the back of my head I would get scared.
Even now when I know better I still get nervous of I get a back of head pain!

I've been getting ear,nose and neck pain for over a year and I'm still waiting on tests!
I smoke but I don't fear cancer, I think maybe it's an infection, or a hidden cyst or something. I did have a cyst show up in my sinus on my dental X-ray .
I wish my GP didn't dismiss me so much as I am in actual
Pain :(
I'm considering trying a new doctor.
I read about people like you who has much worse health anxiety than me and your doctor still orders tests to make sure everything's ok.

I do think if youre in physical pain you should get a proper diagnoises .

Since your hip was hurting I think it's fine you got tested :)
But the cancer fear is most definitely health anxiety lol

The chest infection, I can relate to panicking because it feels so much harder to breath and it can take ages to fully clear up.
But again health anxiety when you assumed the worst :p

Then the dry throat, how dry are we talking ha ha :)
Try some gum, or those throat sweets.
Sometimes I get a dry area in my throat and it makes me feel like I'll gag.
I think its caused by the skin gettibg irrated by my sinus or something else.

CBT could help, as u need to change how you view your symptoms.
What happens is you focus in on them so they appear much worse, then you assume the worst, then your imagination takes over and you fear dying .
It can be hard when you're convinced you're dying and no one seems to understand !


The Internet really doesnt help!

Like right now I've got cloudy urine which is unusual for me.
Now the Internet says it can be caused by phosferus from the food we eat, but also by infection, kidney stones, kidney disease.
A person with bad health anxiety will think oh no I'm going to die as my kidneys are failing.
They might even go as far as havibg some kind of scan even if the doctor assures them their kidneys are fine :)

It's all about how you think and how you view the situation .
I think too maybe health anxiety is a form of distraction, from the bigger issues in our lives .
With health anxiey we have some control, from researching to going to the doctors to gettibg tests.
We ease our fears by getting reassurance or tests from doctors.

[polbailey]

Thanks for your replies. And anxious gal, you're totally right. At the moment I do have actual symptoms but it's the worry that they are caused by a deadly disease which is extreme.
My hip pain is still there and probably always will be and, thankfully, I seem to accept that's ok now.
My cough went on for 5 weeks and caused my asthma to flare up and affected my breathing as well as giving me a cough that took my breath away. That's probably worth the worry.
It's now that I'm seriously worried about strange feelings in my throat that I'm acknowledging that my fears are extreme. Yes, I have an irritation in my throat, have started getting tonsil stones and my throat itches from allergies but, in the real world, it probably isn't cancer. My sensible mind knows its probably irritation from my inhaler. But my mind has run away with me. It's so hard not to google each time I think of a better way of describing my symptoms or pick up on something new.
I study health science and find the body fascinating and admit I have realised how amazing our bodies are but also how vulnerable they are. I seem to have lost that presumption that I'll be alright that I had as a child and now know that's there's so easily a million things that can go wrong with the body.
Thanks for your support. I have now challenged myself 24 hours without googling!! Thank you. Xxxx