Out of options

[Ferry1995]

For the last 6 years I've been suffering from intermittent general anxiety, whenever it usually occurs the doctor prescribes me 20mg of clomipramine, which calms me down within a couple of weeks with no side effects, however, over the last 6 months I've been suffering from health anxiety, connected mainly with my head ( brain tumors, etc ) it was controllable for most of the time, I still had a social life, managed to get myself a job, etc, it Got better and worse from time to time, but eventually, it reached a point where I Got so bad, I was housebound, refused to see anyone, this all happened about a week before I was due to start work, so naturally I decided it would be best to start the clomipramine again, however this time around, my anxiety peaked and I Got horrible side effects ( sweating, palpitations , sore eyes, extreme lethargy, increased anxiety ) and worse of all, I became very depressed and self concious, which has never bothered me before, I began to believe no girls would ever find me attractive, I began to hate myself, became horribly self concious and spaced out, the world doesn't feel the same, however, now the health anxiety has lessened, but I still feel terrible about everything, I know if I come off the medication, ill go back to the way I was before, I'm scared i'll never be better, even if I go onto another medication I just want to be normal again, don't know what to do any more.

Thanks for reading

[nomorepanic]

Can I ask if you have had any therapy or help like CBT?

[Ferry1995]

I'm on the waiting list for a cbt course but the person who runs it at my local mental health centre kinda thing is off on the sick so I can't start that until he gets back, I've bought myself a book on cbt which i'm reading, I know cbt is supposed to help

[nomorepanic]

Any self-help you can do will help as well to be honest

Have you read the website pages on the left?

[Ferry1995]

Having a very bad night tonight, Pretty lethargic, very similar to the first couple of weeks of taking clomipramine this time round, but those side effects wore off after a while, I feel pretty depressed and my anxiety is gradually creeping back

I saw a doctor 3 days ago and explained my predicament, he said I should stick with the clomipramine if I can bear it as I did see a little improvment, however if it gets any worse I should let him know and stop the meds as I've passed the 6 week mark, the problem is the symptoms i'm experiencing could be side effects of the meds or symptoms of anxiety, there's know way to know, so essentially, if I stop the meds, then it makes my anxiety worse and if I up the meds, the side effects will get worse, Just wish there was a way out of this :(

[saab]

These books are really good -

Claire Weekes , Self Help for Your Nerves,
Richard Carlson, Stop Thinking Start Living
David Burns, Feel Good new mood therapy
Robert Leahy, The Worry Cure

Claire Weekes is a lifesaver. The others are cog therapy books that will help you overcome negative thoughts.

[Ferry1995]

Thanks for the reply, I'll have to read them, I'll do whatever it takes

Went to the doctors this morning explaining my predicament and he's going to take me off my meds, see how I fare for a week, and either put me on some other, less hefty meds or give me some more effective short term meds ( no idea what this means ) until I can book myself a reasonable CBT therapist, so there is some hope!

[spacebunnyx]

Hi Ferry,

I've just started CBT and I'm finding it very helpful. Have you tried exercising a bit? I find it really good at controlling panic and anxiety. Avoiding caffeine as well is good.

xxx

[Ferry1995]

Let me know how it goes, It'd be good to hear from somone in the same shoes as me so to speak, I go to the gym for an hour a day but i've been doing that since before all this trouble started, just to get in shape really, as I think i'm a bit too skinny/unfit at the moment, Sometimes my anxiety stops me going but it's better when I do, I drink quite a bit of tea but I haven't really noticed much of a difference whether I drink regular or decaf.

[Ferry1995]

starting to get rather worried, my pulse has been at 100bpm for the last hour or so, And when It first started I wasn't even anxious, could this be a side effect of the meds and will the heart rate increase stop as time progresses as I've stopped the meds now.