fear of wetting myself in public

[ladymillion]

Due to Anxiety i have this horrible fear that i am going to wet myself in public. ( This has never happened but it feels so real). It is affecting my whole life, i am now avoiding social situations. I hardly go out and when i do i have to go to the toilet several times before i leave. I sometimes wear small pads to make me feel comfortable, almost like a back up plan. I don't want to live like this, i have missed out on opportunities and had to leave college because of this. I am very paranoid of what people think of me and i am very self conscious. I used to be outgoing and loved going out and meeting people. This is ruining my life, i cant do half the things i want to do. When it is at its worst i actually think i can feel it running down my leg but when i check there is nothing there. I know it is all in my head but i don't know what i can do to overcome this. I have been attending a relaxation class that my GP referred me to for my anxiety and i am also waiting for CBT. I am managing to hold down a full time job but i don't think i can do it much longer. I just want to be back to normal. Has anyone else experienced this awful symptom of anxiety?

[london]

i dont think your do that
you not so far so why will you
god bless

[ladymillion]

Thank you, its just hard when i have all these horrible symptoms that make me think i need to rush to the toilet.

[Lissa101]

I've never had this last very long but when I used to get lots of constant adrenalin I would become so hyper-sensitive that it was like I was numb. One day I thought 'I don't know if I need the loo or not. I can't feel any sensation in my bladder. I could wet myself right here and probably wouldn't even feel it.' It was very scary but it passed in time.

I know this isn't exactly the same as what you're going through and don't know how to make it better, but perhaps it helps to know someone else has been freaked out by this too. x

[ladymillion]

Thanks for your reply. When it happens i feel so tense and start to panic and i have to escape as quickly as i can. It would make me feel better to know i am not the only person going through this and that one day i will be able to overcome this. take care.

[ladymillion]

i think i am the only person with this but i looked it up online and there are loads of people with it!

[tomby1]

---

[lizzy1]

Hi Ladymillion,

I totally understand how you feel. I have the same problem and I am also avoiding social gatherings, booking family holidays, long car journeys, or going anywhere new. This coming from someone who before this started, thrived on going out, meeting new people, going to new places. Now if I have to travel somewhere more than a few miles away the anxiety is overwhelming and can keep me awake all night. I would love to wave a magic wand and just stop the panic it is so life restricting. I've told myself over and over that its not going to happen, If I don't need the toilet and don't have a full bladder why would it happen? I have been to the doctors and to urology clinic at the hospital to check the strength of my pelvic floor muscles, and although I had some weakness through having 2 children it wasn't so weak that I would have no control, they advised pelvic floor exercises. I have done the pelvic floor exercises for over a year and they must help physically.
There are things I do that I have found help my situation;
I no longer drink tea, as this does irritate my bladder and its also a diuretic.
Pelvic Floor exercises because I know I have strengthened my muscles I can rule out any physical cause and know its all in my head.
Plan your journeys, Google map every detail of your journey, where the toilets are, how far in between each stopping point, length of your journey etc. I also bought a portable device (bought from Betterware catalogue) that I keep in the car 'just incase'. This takes the pressure off when travelling.
If I am particularly anxious about a situation i'll be in, such as shopping or walking with no chance of a getting to a toilet quickly, I will wear a Tenalady, I have a stash of all thicknesses and match them up to my anxiety level at the time. (seems a waste throwing away completely dry Tenaladys when I come home, but its well worth the 'peace of mind')
I try to mediate daily to keep myself relaxed and balanced.
I tell my husband and teenage daughters how I feel and although they cant understand why, they do accept my frequent toilet visits when out and about. (When at home, I could hold a full bladder for ages with no panic)
I will try anything and everything! my latest one is to try and lose a stone in weight to take any pressure off my bladder and pelvic floor.
I really hope this helps you, and thank you for being brave enough to post .. you gave me the courage to answer. : )

[WelshBloke]

Hello, first time poster here.

I'm bumping this thread as this is something that has been affecting me as of late, so I did some Googling on the subject and I found this (and I just had to share my thoughts).

In recent weeks I have developed a growing fear of wetting myself in public. More specifically wetting myself at work. I think this is largely due to the nature of my job. Quite often I have found myself struggling to keep up with my workload, especially during busy periods. This means that I often have little or no time to do anything else in between. Sometimes I have even found myself putting off going to the loo when needed due to having too much to do.

It has got to the point where I'm concerned that one day I'll put it off too long and end up humiliating myself in front of my colleagues and our guests. I keep imagining different scenarios in which this could happen and asking myself "what if?"

I am now drinking less than perhaps I should. During less busy times I find myself visiting the loo often for the sake of it. I can be sitting down for a little while before anything happens.

I know it is probably irrational (it's never happened before) but I can't help but have my doubts, for reasons I won't disclose.

I suffer from poor self-esteem and there are times when I wouldn't put anything past myself. I wish I could shake this off somehow, but I don't know if I ever will or at least not completely. I believe this is another reason for me developing this fear.

It's nice to see that others can relate. Just goes to show that I'm not alone.

[blue moon]

I can relate but out of fear. I got stuck in elevator and peed my pants there were 4 of us stuck for one and half hours,very mbarrassing but laughed when finally got out.I also have claustrophobia which did not help:blush:

[MyNameIsTerry]

WelshBloke,

I haven't had that fear with my anxiety but I have definately sat until bursting point for the sake of my work. For me that about lack of balance and skewed thinking about how important work really is, everyone deserves a break. I would work through luncha alot, never take the alotted breaks and bring my work home with me every weekend and even take it on holiday with me.

For me, I needed to learn that I have the time to go to the toilet or a break and the world won't end because I don't do something.

I'm guessing your social life, hobbies, etc are taking a big back seat to your work too if you are anything like I was.

[ricardo]

This is a classic example of anxiety though age can come into it.

I notice in your profile you are a nurse so must have been confronted with this many times.

There is no doubt the more anxious that you are the brain can tell you to use the toilet when you don't really need to go.
I have suffered with this for years so decided to have all the appropiate tests for prostate and bladder and all were clear.

I now take Vesicare 5mg who have their own help line and it has reduced my urinating from 16/18 times a day to about 6, and the volume I pass is acceptable.

It might be something to consider by speaking to your doctor.

[WelshBloke]

WelshBloke,

I haven't had that fear with my anxiety but I have definately sat until bursting point for the sake of my work. For me that about lack of balance and skewed thinking about how important work really is, everyone deserves a break. I would work through luncha alot, never take the alotted breaks and bring my work home with me every weekend and even take it on holiday with me.

For me, I needed to learn that I have the time to go to the toilet or a break and the world won't end because I don't do something.

I'm guessing your social life, hobbies, etc are taking a big back seat to your work too if you are anything like I was.

I guess that last bit is true to some extent. Though I wouldn't say it was on a major level.

I can relate to much of what you said. I have skipped lunch breaks before, and quite often I won't even stop for a five minute breather. My work isn't the kind you can take home with you so I don't have that problem.

I think I need to start reminding myself of the same thing. Not everything is absolutely urgent and some things can wait while I take time out to visit the loo or whatever.

[MyNameIsTerry]

My GF has this problem and for years I have been saying to her "what happens if you don't do that right now and do it in a couple of hours? Will the world end? Will people be harmed by your lack of action? You don't work in the emergency services or for the military". I tell her to change that kind of thinking or she could end up like me because thats exactly where I went with mine. The result was just more & more work from an company that just wants results & cash and will replace you when you go off ill.

My dad told me this and I didn't listen and here I am. If I had changed what I did about 10 years ago, I wouldn't have spent 9 years working my way through all the damage it caused. Do the company care? Of course not, you just get replaced.

So, maybe if you could reduce the stress and take the breaks without sitting there worrying about your work, you might find you are less anxious overall?

[WelshBloke]

My GF has this problem and for years I have been saying to her "what happens if you don't do that right now and do it in a couple of hours? Will the world end? Will people be harmed by your lack of action? You don't work in the emergency services or for the military". I tell her to change that kind of thinking or she could end up like me because thats exactly where I went with mine. The result was just more & more work from an company that just wants results & cash and will replace you when you go off ill.

My dad told me this and I didn't listen and here I am. If I had changed what I did about 10 years ago, I wouldn't have spent 9 years working my way through all the damage it caused. Do the company care? Of course not, you just get replaced.

So, maybe if you could reduce the stress and take the breaks without sitting there worrying about your work, you might find you are less anxious overall?

I wish there was some kind of "like" button on here.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I wish there was some kind of "like" button on here.


Yeah, me too. They had them on the last forum I was on and they were useful.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[ricardo]

I am sure it can be arranged,Terry ;)

This doesn't have to be a work issue it is something that in my case was a feeling every 20 or 30 minutes if I was at home or even being driven somewhere.
My own doctor said to me try and train yourself to hold it in, which is easier said than done and requires immense practice.

It is advisable to read a few replies not always take as gospel what one prolofic poster says.

[WelshBloke]

I am sure it can be arranged,Terry ;)

This doesn't have to be a work issue it is something that in my case was a feeling every 20 or 30 minutes if I was at home or even being driven somewhere.
My own doctor said to me try and train yourself to hold it in, which is easier said than done and requires immense practice.

It is advisable to read a few replies not always take as gospel what one prolofic poster says.

Yes, I've had a look at the other replies and taken them into consideration too. :)

By the way, I think what you wrote further up is spot on:

"There is no doubt the more anxious that you are the brain can tell you to use the toilet when you don't really need to go."

I know this to be true because I have found it myself.