Georg
07-09-12, 17:31
Hi
I've been om and off ssris for 11 years now
Befor summer hols my life was very good, new house, doing good at work etc. I was only on 12,5mg of zoloft (splitting a 25mg pill) and decided I would try to quit again, surely this time it would be ok as none of the stresses was part of mye life anymore. My GP was on holiday so I decided against my better judgement to try to wean myself off, I thought since I was on such a low dose anyways it would be fine. So I took 12,5mg every other day for two weeks then quit completely.
I was feeling very good at this point, but then 8 days later I started feeling bad, I was horrified that I was going to go into another anxiety/depression again so I agreed with my wife I would simply start up again on 12,5mg and try to quit another time instead. So I took the pill and went to bed. 5am I woke up to a horrible panic attack, I knew I was going to faint and so I did, I was only out a couple of seconds but it was a horrible experience, as fainting is my worst fear.
I figured I was sensitive to the medication and if I stopped again now it would just get worse so I kept taking them, had a panic attack the next nigth as well but luckily not that bad, it kinda evened out from there I kept at this for 3 weeks, having some good days (was even out riding my motorcycle) and a few bad ones, but nothing over the top. Then my wife had to start work again and I was stuck at home with our 8month old boy on paternity leave. I had another panic attak this time during the day, was able to cope with it by taking some diazepam (only take them for emergencies) and doing breathing excercise. So I figured I just needed a dose increase, my GP was still on holidays, so I went up to 25mg. Now follows 2 weeks of utter misery, crying spells, feeling just horrible, but I stuck with it.
Finally got an appointment with my GP, he told me that I did do the correct dose increase and at the correct time, but ofcourse told me that I should never have quit. He was worried about me passing out, he told me if he didnt know about my anxiety he would have taken my drivers license, he wanted me to take an mri.
At this point my health anxiety went throught the roof, as my symptoms so far was blurry right eye, and weak feeling in my right leg. In 2009 I tried to quit too, then my pain and worry was in my heart region, could it be since I do not believe I have a heart conditon anymore my anxiety found a new place to grow?
So here I am, took the MRI yesterday, waiting for results late next week. I am now on 3 weeks on 25mg. Having the odd panic attack, mostly nocturnal ones, some evenings are good, feeling back to my old self again, cheerful and optimistic, but when the morning comes it all crashes down again.
Trying to stay optimistic, thinking its too much of an coincidence that this happens now when I messed with my meds and that I am perfectly fine, and its just my health anxiety playing tricks on me. Yet I cant stop worrying :(
I just want to get back to where I was, I wont try to quit ever again.
I've been om and off ssris for 11 years now
Befor summer hols my life was very good, new house, doing good at work etc. I was only on 12,5mg of zoloft (splitting a 25mg pill) and decided I would try to quit again, surely this time it would be ok as none of the stresses was part of mye life anymore. My GP was on holiday so I decided against my better judgement to try to wean myself off, I thought since I was on such a low dose anyways it would be fine. So I took 12,5mg every other day for two weeks then quit completely.
I was feeling very good at this point, but then 8 days later I started feeling bad, I was horrified that I was going to go into another anxiety/depression again so I agreed with my wife I would simply start up again on 12,5mg and try to quit another time instead. So I took the pill and went to bed. 5am I woke up to a horrible panic attack, I knew I was going to faint and so I did, I was only out a couple of seconds but it was a horrible experience, as fainting is my worst fear.
I figured I was sensitive to the medication and if I stopped again now it would just get worse so I kept taking them, had a panic attack the next nigth as well but luckily not that bad, it kinda evened out from there I kept at this for 3 weeks, having some good days (was even out riding my motorcycle) and a few bad ones, but nothing over the top. Then my wife had to start work again and I was stuck at home with our 8month old boy on paternity leave. I had another panic attak this time during the day, was able to cope with it by taking some diazepam (only take them for emergencies) and doing breathing excercise. So I figured I just needed a dose increase, my GP was still on holidays, so I went up to 25mg. Now follows 2 weeks of utter misery, crying spells, feeling just horrible, but I stuck with it.
Finally got an appointment with my GP, he told me that I did do the correct dose increase and at the correct time, but ofcourse told me that I should never have quit. He was worried about me passing out, he told me if he didnt know about my anxiety he would have taken my drivers license, he wanted me to take an mri.
At this point my health anxiety went throught the roof, as my symptoms so far was blurry right eye, and weak feeling in my right leg. In 2009 I tried to quit too, then my pain and worry was in my heart region, could it be since I do not believe I have a heart conditon anymore my anxiety found a new place to grow?
So here I am, took the MRI yesterday, waiting for results late next week. I am now on 3 weeks on 25mg. Having the odd panic attack, mostly nocturnal ones, some evenings are good, feeling back to my old self again, cheerful and optimistic, but when the morning comes it all crashes down again.
Trying to stay optimistic, thinking its too much of an coincidence that this happens now when I messed with my meds and that I am perfectly fine, and its just my health anxiety playing tricks on me. Yet I cant stop worrying :(
I just want to get back to where I was, I wont try to quit ever again.