I don't understand ! I'm doing so well but depression is creeping

[Littlehelper123]

I am doing s wel with my anxiety - i went to college, been to town with friends, went to a zoo , all thiings which i was unable to do a few months ago. But now i feel so low and depressed and negative thoughts are swarming my head. I keep getting death thoughts and my mind keeps wandering back to these thoughts when i am bored or im not distracted!

Why is this happening!?!? I dont know who i am any more?!

It's like i am peeling off layers....panic attacks go...anxiety comes....anxiety is going....depression is coming

Im so confused :( i am only 17 why am i getting these feelings? I kept getting suicide thoughts but knew They were intrusive but its like they are stronger than ever at the moment and i dint no why!!!

---------- Post added at 14:23 ---------- Previous post was at 13:05 ----------

can anyone help ? =(

[Mr Brownstone]

I probably cant give any real advice as ive never been in this situation, but I would think that trying to keep active, or your mind on something else, is something you may need to try focussing on. When you were doing all that stuff, how were you feeling? Were the negative thoughts the last thing on your mind? Obviously its difficult filling all your time, but Id hope that its a habitual thing...if you break a habit of letting your mind wander, you might find it doesnt come back (or at least less so)

[PanchoGoz]

It's like something has set the ball rolling, the negetive thoughts have some back and they are ahead of you, the ball rolls down the hill faster than you can catch it.
You can stop it - wake up tomorrow and decide to stop the ball rolling. Leap out and catch it. Whatever might have started the negetive thoughts again is superfluous - be it an illness, shock, nasty hangover or a few empty meaningless days, it's behind you. Have a good sleep and tomorrow, fill your day with meaningful and useful things. If your mind strays to the negetive thoughts, tell yourself it's just anxiety keeping them at the front of my mind, they are unimportant, they are just a blip and blips are so useful for you to learn about anxiety. It feels worse this time because you have been depression/anxiety-free for a long time so it seems so much darker and worse in comparison. Don't let it get a hold of you, and don't tense up against the thoughts, welcome them with open arms as the blip you have long needed. They can't hurt you. Good luck.