Not sure what anxiety/issues I have but could someone help?

[Falling_Slowly]

I joined this forum in January and have not been on since. I'm not sure why but maybe it's because I don't know what is actually wrong with me.

I'm 23, I don't have a job, I used to volunteer with animals but I used to get so scared leading up to my voluntary days that I ended up quitting.
I also hate the feeling of 'having' to do something, the pressure makes me feel sick.
Pretty much all of my time is spent at my flat waiting for my boyfriend to return from work because I hate going out alone.
Also, when I try to make him understand how I feel he kind of brushes it off and makes out like there is nothing wrong with me.
When we met a few years ago I was studying animal care at college and going out with friends at a weekend, now I barely go out at all. I don't know what happened to me!

I'm obsessed with the fact that he deserves better and will leave me soon because I'm not the same as when we met.
I hate driving and get all clammy and worried when I have to drive but I do drive him to the train station every morning so he doesn't have to walk.

I ALWAYS get an upset tummy and headaches for no reason at all and I don't want to go to the doctors because I don't want to take pills.

Someone please help me or tell me what's wrong with me...

[Annie0904]

It does sound like you have anxiety and maybe you will need to take some medication to help you through it. I would speak to your doctor who may also recommend counselling. You could also try Bach rescue remedy which is sold on this site and in most chemists. I hope you find the help and support that you need :hugs:

[theharvestmouse]

Sounds like you have withdrawn yourself from your social life, sounds like anxiety has developed, the same thing happened to me.

[Falling_Slowly]

Sounds like you have withdrawn yourself from your social life, sounds like anxiety has developed, the same thing happened to me.

What did you do to help yourself?

I feel really stuck and useless, I can't even go anywhere on my own anymore. My boyfriend is starting to get frustrated with my behaviour but so am I!
Just want to be able to feel relaxed and normal about everyday things.
I was supposed to start a photography course next week but I phoned and cancelled because I feel to nervous to go and meet new people and drive there.

When I spoke to my doctor about this after I first joined here in january she told me there is a long waiting list for councelling so no point putting me on it so I just left it. I got the feeling she thought I was an idiot so haven't mentioned it again.

what does Bach rescue remedy do?

[Annie0904]

Bach rescue remedy helps to calm you. I would go back to your GP and ask again to be referred for counselling, I think it would help you as you will learn coping strategies to help you to feel better. :hugs:

[MiniatureDisasters]

You're not an idiot, can you go and see a different doctor who may be more helpful? I'm worried about talking to my doctor about getting counselling for the same reason, but I've decided to as I feel it could really help me now and I don't want to take medication either.

Maybe taking things one step at a time and challenging yourself might help in the meantime. Do you have any friends you could call and arrange to meet up with? You say you cancelled a course you planned to start in advance of it starting. I know what its like to be so scared of doing something new like that and especially the meeting new people part. However I also know that if you go ahead and do it, its never as scary as you imagine, you enjoy it and you freely good about yourself for doing it. Is it too late to sign up again? Can you aim for some small goals each day like going out by yourself for a walk or to a specific place.

It sounds like it would help if your boyfriend was more understanding. Maybe one evening you could make a nice meal, sit him down and talk to him about it. Don't let him brush you off, counteract what he is saying with how you're feeling. You also deserve someone who will listen to you.:bighug1:

Do you have some other people who can help support you through this time. Keeping looking at this site. There's lots of useful information and people who you can share with.

[Falling_Slowly]

Well last week I started walking my dogs twice a day which I hadn't done for a while and although that doesn't seem like much it's the only thing I have done alone in a couple of months.
Sometimes I feel ok and can walk round the shop etc but lately I just want to be at home and don't even answer the door anymore. I get panicky when people knock and the dogs start barking, I'm not sure why.

My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful and always encourages me in everything but sometimes his encouragement feels a bit pushy. Like this course for instance, I really don't want to go but he keeps pushing me making me feel like I have to which only makes me feel like I don't have a choice. He is only trying to help. I think he thinks I choose to stay home all day when I obviously dont, I hate it here and get so bored!
We live together and have been together for 3 years now and we get on great, I am so worried about ruining everything.

I really don't want to go back to the doctor, I don't want to talk to any doctor about this if I'm honest. Wish there was a miracle pill to change the way my brain works. Thanks so much for your replies, makes me feel not so alone x

[memyself]

sounds like you have anxiety. have a look at an article on here in the anxiety section right at the bottom of the page a link "When the Gloves come off" written by a hypnotherapist. I read it and found it really helpful and hopeful. Going down the road of hypnotherapy after years of different medications that really just address symptoms of anxiety and depression, but don't fix the root cause.

[MiniatureDisasters]

Sadly there is no "miracle pill" but that doesn't mean you can't get better.

I used to bail out of doing things quite a lot for the reasons you state above. What helps me to do new things is to take each thing in small steps and not cancel at the first sign of anxiety. For example, with something like a new course, the first step is to just not cancel. It doesn't mean you HAVE TO go, it just means you can. Then take the rest of it in small steps, i.e. step 1 - all you have to do is leave the house, that's all, step 2 - get in the car. Then break the journey down into small stages, focussing just on the next bit you have to do. Then when it comes to the course, you can break that down too. I promise it can get better, you just need to bring yourself out of your comfort zone a bit.

Also, instead of focussing on all the things you fear, try thinking (or even saying out loud) all the good things about doing this thing. Say aloud why you want to do this, think about what could be good about it even if you don't really believe it.