I want to date but panic and dread at the thought

[loopylu86]

So I want to meet this guy for a date. My anxiety at the moment has left me housebound. I get panic attacks in the shop and can't even stay at my sisters for too long for the same reason. I have had just over a week off work and force myself to go out for a drive everyday. How on earth am I going to do this? I really like this gentleman. I have explained the situation but how long can anyone be patient with someone in my situation? It's not like I can invite him to come to mine because I get anxiety sometimes even when friends arrive because all I want to do is lie on my bed with the fan on me. Luckily they have a full understanding of the situation and understand that I do need to be alone sometimes just to get my thoughts and everything in order. So hard. Any suggestions?

[electrical_stormgirl]

Ahh, I sympathise. If he's a nice guy he'll understand and be supportive. My ex had really bad social anxiety and all I ever wanted to do was look after him and support him, it was a never a burden because he was the nicest guy I knew.

How about a short date to start off with? Somewhere you feel safe, maybe for a coffee or something, with the understanding that you have to leave at a certain time to go and do something so there's less pressure? I did that last year- I told the guy in advance I had to leave at 5 to babysit and I felt much more relaxed knowing I had an agreed end-time :D

Hope it works out :hugs:

[loopylu86]

That actually really makes sense. I actually told him that I can go and see him for an hour one evening. Sounds ridiculous but new surrroundings can set me off. Even familiar places are alien to me when I'm really out of it. Thanks for your reply!! I'm not going to let this waste great opportunities!! Xx

[ChrisScotland]

I can understand your feelings completely.I've been in the same position most of my life with struggling to go on dates and such.But as soon as you get over that initial hurdle of meeting them and them knowing and understanding your situation, then hopefully you'll both go on to enjoy many happy times together.

Hope it works out well for you.

[Shaneb]

Must admit i am totally in the same situation

I am ready to date after 1.5 years being single but many people do not understand the situation and issues with anxiety and the thought of telling a woman, "Sorry i have anxiety and can not go for meals,etc" just does not sound too good

Trying to find someone who understand the situation and be there for you through it all is going to be hard especially a new person

I really hope all goes well for you mind and keep us informed on how things go :)

[DeHermitsLab]

I would add that it maybe something you may need to be quite upfront about with your potential new mate. They will find out eventually anyway and the more you try to hide it the more likely they are to get mixed signals. He may feel you are not really interested or worse, hiding something.

You will naturally expect and hope for honesty from him from the get go, it is only reasonable that he should expect the same.

As for the date, as others have said keep it on turf you know and feel safe. Somewhere you can leave if you need to without it looking odd if you just arrived not long before like a coffee bar etc.

Once he knows that you have this condition it will be easier for him to know where he stand and I will put money on it that your stress levels will go down knowing you don’t have to hide anything.

I hope it all goes well for you. Dating is not an exact science and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Just try to have fun as much as you can.

Good luck! :yesyes: