Feeling like a bad person and beating myself up

[panickygirl]

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling terrible at the moment. Yesterday one of my friends told me some good news via text and I was so happy for her that I shared it with the girls that I was with (who were mutual friends). It's not private news at all, it's an amazing achievement and I thought she'd be telling them, I guess. Anyway, as soon as I'd done that I found out she didn't want anyone to know (just because she didn't want to jinx it) so I became anxious, worrying that I'd done a bad thing.

I spoke to her later in the afternoon and she told me why didn't want anyone to know, she's a much more private person than I am and doesn't like to share things about herself, even good things. She wasn't that angry with me, just annoyed a bit I guess, which is fair enough.

Anyway now I just feel like a bad friend and really guilty and worried (cos if something does go wrong with it now I'll feel like I jinxed it for her) and also it was her news and she should have decided when to tell people. I seem to have no filter on my mouth these days and am so sick of doing the wrong thing and then feeling genuinely awful about it for days/weeks after.

I was wondering if anyone else had the feeling with anxiety that they were a bad person, and if they found that feeling hard to shake, as I am. Also if when they did something wrong, they found it impossible to come to terms with and move on from, and just continually beat themselves up. I know in my heart of hearts this is probably not a big deal (though it's something to learn from and not repeat in the future) but I can't stop thinking about it and panicking about it, it's exhausting.

Would appreciate any advice etc.

Thanks,

PanickyGirl x x

[beautifulfreak77]

hiya...
i know exactly how you feel,and i dont think you did anything to bad,you was just happy and excited for your friend which means your a good friend...
i over think stuff and beat myself up loads over little things like this and i did the same thing the other day,my friend told me some good news and i told a few people then a few hrs later she said what i told you earlier dont tell anyone yet i got worked up and told her i had told a few people but she wasnt angry with me but i did feel awful...
please dont beat yourself up to much,its done now...and you sound like a great friend..take care x

[panickygirl]

Thanks so much. It's amazing how much it helps to have someone else say they understand! x

[beautifulfreak77]

yea i know what you mean...at the time you think it must only be you that feels that way but then you come on here and people say they get it...its a relief...i hope you have stopped beating yourself up now!! x

[spuder]

well if she didnt want any one else to know she should of said dont say anything so its not your fault dont beat your self up hun just ignore her if she wants to be silly

[panickygirl]

Thanks guys, I feel a lot better about this situation now. So hard to get perspective when you're in the middle of it! Thank you x x