Billy B
31-07-06, 18:35
I am very pleased I found this website today, and reading through all your messages has helped me greatly. For a while I felt I was the only one feeling as I do but today after working through the forum I feel almost as if I have received therapy.
I've been on insulin for almost 40 years and about 15 months ago I began to take seriously scary hypo (seriously low blood sugar) attacks all without warning and mostly all convulsive. I've bounced off walls, seriously messed up my face on one of those walls, and generally became terrifed of when the next would happen. My partner died a few years ago and I now live alone and I was convinced that during one of those attacks I would die as nobody was there to help get sugar into me. In the mornings and evenings I would sit looking at the syringe and had to really force myself to inject. It was like Russian roulette - I never knew which injection would bring on another attack. My hospital quickly put me onto 8 injections a day (from two a day) and reduced the doseage to a tiny amount each time.
For almost a year I have been unable to eat very much due to such low insulin doseage and have lost 4 stones. Even the though the new insulin was safer I continually got flashbacks and they scared me to death, almost to the point of not takign the medicine that would keep me alive.
About 4 weeks ago I was referred to a specialist who normally cares for epileptics who suffer from the trauma of grand mal seisures and she has diagnosed me has having PTSD. She then referred me to another specialist who has placed me back on two injections a day (a new, much safer insulin) and I am eating again, thank god. Still, I get the flashbacks and still they scare me but I feel perhaps I've turned the corner.
Like many here I felt as if not one person understood what the heck was happening with me and had to resist time and time again my doctor's insistance on me going onto anti-depressants. I felt great anxiety but never felt depressed or sad and to be honest I couldnt have coped with the side effects the tablets may have given me.
I'll never be able NOT to have to inject insulin and sometimes I still get a panic attack before I need to take it but I know I have to learn to live with that. It's not easy but I am sure I'll get there someday.
I have found comfort today in reading here of so many people who have suffered like me, on their own and, on many occasions without help for a long long time. Please don't be offended when I say that but it is quite overwhelming to realise that 'it's not just me'.
I truly wish each and every one of you good time ahead and thanks for being here for me today.
Billy
I've been on insulin for almost 40 years and about 15 months ago I began to take seriously scary hypo (seriously low blood sugar) attacks all without warning and mostly all convulsive. I've bounced off walls, seriously messed up my face on one of those walls, and generally became terrifed of when the next would happen. My partner died a few years ago and I now live alone and I was convinced that during one of those attacks I would die as nobody was there to help get sugar into me. In the mornings and evenings I would sit looking at the syringe and had to really force myself to inject. It was like Russian roulette - I never knew which injection would bring on another attack. My hospital quickly put me onto 8 injections a day (from two a day) and reduced the doseage to a tiny amount each time.
For almost a year I have been unable to eat very much due to such low insulin doseage and have lost 4 stones. Even the though the new insulin was safer I continually got flashbacks and they scared me to death, almost to the point of not takign the medicine that would keep me alive.
About 4 weeks ago I was referred to a specialist who normally cares for epileptics who suffer from the trauma of grand mal seisures and she has diagnosed me has having PTSD. She then referred me to another specialist who has placed me back on two injections a day (a new, much safer insulin) and I am eating again, thank god. Still, I get the flashbacks and still they scare me but I feel perhaps I've turned the corner.
Like many here I felt as if not one person understood what the heck was happening with me and had to resist time and time again my doctor's insistance on me going onto anti-depressants. I felt great anxiety but never felt depressed or sad and to be honest I couldnt have coped with the side effects the tablets may have given me.
I'll never be able NOT to have to inject insulin and sometimes I still get a panic attack before I need to take it but I know I have to learn to live with that. It's not easy but I am sure I'll get there someday.
I have found comfort today in reading here of so many people who have suffered like me, on their own and, on many occasions without help for a long long time. Please don't be offended when I say that but it is quite overwhelming to realise that 'it's not just me'.
I truly wish each and every one of you good time ahead and thanks for being here for me today.
Billy