Danny_dingle
14-09-12, 20:47
Hi Guys,
So sorry if I am repeating anything previous, but I desperately need some support.
I have recently had a bout of issues: since January last year (2011) I have lost both of my grandads (never had a close family bereavement before these), my dad was taken ill with bacterial meningitis and I was on holiday from work so I stayed with him all day every day. He was in a coma for a few days but is fully recovered now, but it was horrible at the time. My mum also got pleurisy, but we didn't know what it was and thought she was having a heart attack: I was the only one around so I had to get her an ambulance and accompany her to A&E.
I have also changed jobs twice because one of them looked like the company was on it's way out (not me being paranoid - this was based on solid evidence/past experience) and the next job I was only at for one month because it was so stressful and I was working such long hours it made me ill.
I have now got a job working with a lovely company, my manager is a bit stern but essentially very nice and understanding.
However, I am suffering from chronic depression every morning. I am sleeping terribly (able to drop off but waking several times a night with nightmares and unable to drop off well, waking feeling very unrefreshed) and feel like every day I do NOT want to go to work. I feel partly like I want to just drive away somewhere where I am happy and no-one will find me until I want them to (recently had a lovely family holiday in Whitby and that's where I'm drawn to) or just leave my job until I am fully recovered, then start my search again.
Trouble is, I know if I quit my job I will just worry about other things and I don't really want to lose it as it is a good job, and I'm sure I'll thrive at it when I'm better.
Also, quitting my job will mean we (me and my boyfriend) would need to move back in with my parents, and my dad is the main reason I started feeling anxious/depressed in the first instance, so I don't think this would be helpful as I don't think he'd understand at all and may make me feel worse.
I am at a loss. I can't spend every morning crying my eyes out because I can't face work. The silly part is, I know by mid morning I will usually be feeling a lot better. Tonight I have also been upset (today is my day off) as I am already getting the creeping sensation of anxiety about work tomorrow.
I am seeing a counsellor but because of personal reasons she has had to cancel next weeks' appointment, and I was going to call support line but there's no one there until Monday night, so I am feeling a bit like a safety net has been pulled from under me and don't know how to cope on my own.
Can someone please help me. I don't know what to do with myself, and I can't cope feeling like this literally every single day.
Any advice very, very much appreciated.
Thank you
Danny
So sorry if I am repeating anything previous, but I desperately need some support.
I have recently had a bout of issues: since January last year (2011) I have lost both of my grandads (never had a close family bereavement before these), my dad was taken ill with bacterial meningitis and I was on holiday from work so I stayed with him all day every day. He was in a coma for a few days but is fully recovered now, but it was horrible at the time. My mum also got pleurisy, but we didn't know what it was and thought she was having a heart attack: I was the only one around so I had to get her an ambulance and accompany her to A&E.
I have also changed jobs twice because one of them looked like the company was on it's way out (not me being paranoid - this was based on solid evidence/past experience) and the next job I was only at for one month because it was so stressful and I was working such long hours it made me ill.
I have now got a job working with a lovely company, my manager is a bit stern but essentially very nice and understanding.
However, I am suffering from chronic depression every morning. I am sleeping terribly (able to drop off but waking several times a night with nightmares and unable to drop off well, waking feeling very unrefreshed) and feel like every day I do NOT want to go to work. I feel partly like I want to just drive away somewhere where I am happy and no-one will find me until I want them to (recently had a lovely family holiday in Whitby and that's where I'm drawn to) or just leave my job until I am fully recovered, then start my search again.
Trouble is, I know if I quit my job I will just worry about other things and I don't really want to lose it as it is a good job, and I'm sure I'll thrive at it when I'm better.
Also, quitting my job will mean we (me and my boyfriend) would need to move back in with my parents, and my dad is the main reason I started feeling anxious/depressed in the first instance, so I don't think this would be helpful as I don't think he'd understand at all and may make me feel worse.
I am at a loss. I can't spend every morning crying my eyes out because I can't face work. The silly part is, I know by mid morning I will usually be feeling a lot better. Tonight I have also been upset (today is my day off) as I am already getting the creeping sensation of anxiety about work tomorrow.
I am seeing a counsellor but because of personal reasons she has had to cancel next weeks' appointment, and I was going to call support line but there's no one there until Monday night, so I am feeling a bit like a safety net has been pulled from under me and don't know how to cope on my own.
Can someone please help me. I don't know what to do with myself, and I can't cope feeling like this literally every single day.
Any advice very, very much appreciated.
Thank you
Danny