doomed to spend my life scared and unhappy

[mrs way to worried]

i really hate having anxiety it has been the main focus of my life now for 4 years i spend every day worried i will die and have to say goodbye to my kids my girls r 4 and 2 and im 35 weeks pregnant with my first son , im so constantly worried im like a robot i show no emotion except fear i couldnt even enjoy my daughters first day at school or feel any pride because i was worried i had cancer i push my husband away cause i know he will be arranging my funeral i have so many times said to myself just end it now so i have control of when it is and my family can start to move on without me , ive tried tablets they didnt help i have been on the waiting list for a year for councilling i dont know how much longer i can live like this in fact i cant even call it living

[nervousmummytobe]

I feel your pain! I am 30 weeks pregnant and I worry everyday that I have a disease that will affect baby! It's rules my life I even drive my family and partner insane! I feel like I'm just functioning not living :(

[sparkle_1979]

yes this is ruining my life too. I have two beautiful girls 1 & 2, a lovely hubby so i should be so happy but every day I live thinking I have some awful disease x

[saab]

Have you tried reading cognitive therapy books? These are some books that really helped me when I was very anxious about my heart:

Dr Claire Weekes - Self Help for your Nerves - this is a fantastic book, a life saver.
Richard Carlson - Stop Thinking Start Living - shows how your thoughts make you unhappy.
Robert Leahy - The Worry Cure - how to move on from negative thinking.

At times I was so anxious I was paralysed with fear, expecting my heart to stop. I was almost agoraphobic at one point, could barely leave the house, going to any shop or crowded area led to panic attacks. These books really helped.