scaredykat9
16-09-12, 06:17
Hi there. Ive been reading quite a lot on this site & thought yes its time 2 join. In the past i have suffered from depression & ocd w/limited success from both meds & therapy. But honestly my biggest prob. now is anxiety. Severe anxiety worst in the mornings & leading 2 panic attacks. Palpitations like im having a heart attack &breathing difficulties which i cant fix w/breathing techniques. All this stops if i give up on my plans for the day & dont try 2 leave the house. Have i developed agoraphobia? Giving in 2 the panic leads 2 utter disgust w/myself because i miss appts, have overdue bills & sometimes i think im going 2 starve 2 death cause i run out of food. When i finally get out of the house i always feel better like a huge weight is lifted off me and i enjoy contact w/other people so i dont have GAD or social phobia. Its like im sinking & cant get out. After 2 weeks i finally got to the dr. He didnt seem 2 really care or get how out of control i am becoming. He renewed my meds : escitalopram 20mg (wouldnt up the dose even though i asked) & temazepam 10mg which i only take when i really have to for sleep. He said some othet time he might get me on mental health plan...its so hard 4 me to keep it together long enuf to get ready and leave the house that sometimes when i am out and feel so much better i stay out for 24hrs til exhaustion just 2 avoid going home & getting stuck again. Writing this makes me feel like a shaky weirdo & an idiot, but its all going 2 happen again tomorrow. Its not a bad day. It happens every day and thats why im so desperate. I dont have any family anymore, i live alone &