View Full Version : sick of people telling me "it's all in your mind!"
I am getting so fed up with people telling me that it is all in my mind and I should just think nice thoughts!! If only it was that easy! When they say this to me it just makes me feel worse because I really only want to think nice things and I know it is my mind but it has control of me at the moment and not the other way round. Does anyone else have people say this to them all the time? It just makes me feel even more of a failure because I feel like I have lost control of my own mind:weep:
Yep. Family member was getting on at me yesterday for not doing anything with my life. According to them I've had a 'holiday' for the past 2+ months. A bloody holiday? I wish. 2 months of hell more like.
It's hard for people to understand I guess.
I know it is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. I am on the sick from work at the moment with a fractured foot but I have been off before because of my anxiety and my boss said I should just get on with things and going to work would do me more good. I wish I could! Some days I can't even cope with sitting downstairs and just want to hide in my bed, I find it hard to concentrate on anything at all.
I'm unemployed right now; was going to claim ESA but figured I wouldn't get it anyway. I'm honest with potential employers about my anxiety and no one wants to hire me (can't blame them really).
I get the feeling that people think 'well, everyone has a busy life, everyone has anxiety but not everyone is lying at home feeling sorry for themselves'. Like we're weaker than other people or something. But what we experience is not normal anxiety, it's debilitating and if other people knew how we felt they'd realise that we are in fact very strong people. Because just getting up in the morning and getting through the day can be so hard.
I know...sometimes I say to people "imagine a time when you have felt really scared about something, well that is how I feel all the time!"
It is all in your mind, but your mind is your world! Your mind sees and hears and thinks and does everything, so it's in your whole world as well. It's a way of looking at it.
I always like to quote that wise woman who is Fiona Apple:
He said "It's all in your head"
and I said "So's everything"
but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man
but he was just a little boy
("Paper Bag")
Anxious_gal
16-09-12, 15:33
Heh ya I hate my anxiety? It's basically ruins every thing.
People think its great not working and doing nothing all day :/
I'd love nothing more than to be able to what everyone else. can do without a 2nd thought.
But I can't. Everything seems to cause me fear :(
The physical symptoms are bloody real,
The heart palps, chest pain, tunnel vision and so on.
If any adverage person experienced anxiety or a panic attack they'd be the same as us.
Anxiety is genetic, our bodies have been scientifically proven to react more to stress.
Whether we can change that fact by CBT n healthy living I don't know.
It's like depressed people's brains look different under MRI than a non depressed person.
So mental illness is as much physical as it is mental but we do have some control and we can learn to cope better with it but dam ignorant people sure don't help.
I get people saying to me "Well you look well to me" yes I may look well on the outside but my body is screaming on the inside!
People don't stop and think before opening their mouths... I'm sure it's hard to understand these situations if you've never lived them, but damn, a bit of sensitivity?! If you don't know what anxiety really is, don't assume you do. Just shut up.
I have zero tolerance left for idiotic people's comments... On subjects like personal problems, looks, weight and such.
I vow to use the "you look well to me" statement to my advantage when I move to university next week. I shall be well and I shall live up to my wellness. After all I have a fine body even though it feels wracked. It's the last thing you want to hear but at the moment I would rather hear that in my new life than "you look bloody awful". It might be helpful to try and take it as a strengthening complement, who knows.
I love the quote Olivia, that sums up perfectly what I was saying earlier. I think I'll write that down :D
Granny Primark
16-09-12, 16:52
I am sick to death of the damn stigma attached to mental illness.
People who I love have called me a benefit fraud. Inever had a sick note until 5 years ago after having my first panic attack.
I was working 60 hours plus working on the community as a carer. I had every other weekend off. So it was like working over 120 hours without having a break.
Just cus you cant see it doesnt mean its not there.
Now I cant be classed as a benefit fraud cus im not claiming benefits. However I still feel as tho people look down on me cus they think im idle.
Sometimes you just cant win. I give up now.
Granny Primark I know what you are saying and it is so hard to explain what it is like. Luckily I have a very understanding husband but one of his sisters says she would never take medication like I do (she is so lucky she doesn't need to!) and I have nothing to be stressed about! Thank you all for your comments and advise. I am so pleased we have each other to support us through this :hugs:
carlacarlise
16-09-12, 17:21
To be honest, it is all in the mind. Just not the way none suffers think.
The mind needs a good sort out to get well. Thats not as easy as it sounds. But thinking it isnt all about what is going on in your head will never get you well. This must be tackled.
I know and accept that it is all the mind but it is the fact that others seem to think it should be so easy to change it but it isn't easy. I am having cbt to help me sort it out but others who don't understand just think I should be able to quickly change my way of thinking and I really wish I could.
The thing is that many think "it's in the mind" = "it's not real" and "it's easy to overcome".
When I told my MIL I had visual problems due to stress, she replied "if they're due to stress, they should be over by now". I wish!!
I know what you mean Olivia..a teacher in the school I work in had been off sick for six weeks with stress and another teacher commented "you can get stressed about something but it is gone the next day, it is not a reason to be off this long!"
Good for her if that's her idea of stress. Like being nervous about something vs. being pathologically anxious. Grr...
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