Agoraphobic, Emetophobic, starting CBT in half an hour.. please reply!!

[DreamsInSpace2]

I am an Emetophobic (Intense fear of being sick.. so so scared of it i'd rather die) I am also agoraphobic starting 4 months ago, I have been agoraphobic before 3 years ago for 2 years but I don't remember the fear feeling this awful. The reason I am agoraphobic now is because of the high anxiety in which I feel sick to the point it feels like it might happen, it terrifies me I pray an anxiety attack won't ever make me ill (please don't say anything that might scare me!!) I am beyond terrified as I start CBT therapy this morning, I have a small form of social anxiety too and still find it hard being around my therapist.. and she is taking me out this morning I am very frightened!! I don't know what to do :-( I am so so scared, and I pray so hard the anxiety won't make me ill, I feel like crying I don't know what to do. It's the anxiety where you feel sick that is scaring me paralysing me and I pray it won't make me ill! :( im so scared, I hope I will be okay :( :(

[bernie1977]

I hope you made it to your appointment. I have every sympathy your situation as everything you have described I can relate to.

I have been agoraphobic for a long time and been housebound with it for the last 2 years. I have a CPN who comes to see me and like you I am terrified of been around her. My panic attacks get worse as I fear that they are going to make me ill, mainly make me sick which terrifies me. I have never been sick from a panic attack though and keep trying to tell myself that.

I do hope you made your appointment and that it was a step in the right direction towards recovery. If you can please let me know how you got on

[DreamsInSpace2]

Hi Bernie,

Thank you so much for replying! It is hard isn't it. I have no choice with my appointments, there is no running. She comes to my house so I don't have to go see her. I am still not over thrilled at the thought of having to do CBT every week it scares me but I am hoping I will be fine, however today was not as bad as I'd anticipated. *touchwood* we only went for a short walk, across a field and down through a gate, we took my dog which helped a little and I just kept talking to try distract myself. I got a little anxious towards the end but it was manageable. She wants to take me further in the car next week.... I am just humming and harring not sure I am ready for that just yet!! I am hoping each week will become easier and it won't take long for me to be out and about again. What kind of work does your CPN do with you??

xxx

[bernie1977]

That's brilliant that you managed a walk - well done! See if you can take the dog out yourself again today or tomorrow and try and make it part of your daily routine if you can.

I don't know if you're the same but I find it easier to try things on my own as one of my main fears is getting ill and being sick in front of other people.

It's good that you are having CBT done from home as this should help you alot. My CPN said that I couldn't have CBT from home and I would have to work on getting out myself first so I could then get to the clinic. I don't see my CPN very often, she's either off sick, on holiday or cancels appointments! I feel like they don't see my case as urgent or worth bothering about. To be honest though I have also cancelled appointments as I get that anxious before she is due to come I feel ill and get scared I'm going to be ill when she comes. Silly I know but I can't help it, it's how my silly mind works.

Good luck with your future appointments and let me know how you get on
Lindsay XX

[DreamsInSpace2]

Thank you :-)

It's not silly you feel that way, we all fear different things and no one is silly for what they fear. For me it's not that, I fear seeing people in case it triggers a panic attack or I have a panic attack in front of them but my biggest fear is worrying about the anxiety in case it makes me ill which I hope it never would. It terrifies me to no end as my fear is so severe I'd rather anything but that. I am not sure if it is a CPN I am seeing, she is a social worker I think. I was admitted into a mental health hospital 2 months ago and that's how I got the help I have been given, it's a shame it took me months of pestering and then a breakdown for them to finally pay attention but I am grateful for the support I am receiving now.

I hope I will grow in strength.

I am sure you will be okay and can get through this, stay as strong as you possibly can. I believe in anyone who is struggling's power to get through this <3

[bernie1977]

It is a shame that you had to go through what you did to get help. I have experienced the same poor service when it comes to getting help.

I worry about what would happen to me if I got ill or a even a simple thing like toothache as I can't get to the Doctors/hospital/dentist. I swear I would rather die than leave the house as my panic attacks have such a hold over me.

I am going to give CBT4PANIC a go as I have read lots about it and it is designed for people with panic disorder and agoraphobia. Not as if I have anything to lose!