Cone Drone
17-09-12, 16:53
Ok so I guess I need to start from the beginning. I have always had problems in social situations especially around power figures but I just put it down to shyness but after trying to find a job I realise it is much more than being shy. Now I'm 19 and have bit the bullet and admited I have problems but my grandmother don't seem to think so which really dosn't help, according to her "You're no different from anyone else, everyone feels like that you just get over it... blah blah blah".
I have made a doctors appointment for thursday but I don't think I can follow through with it I keep going through loops of thinking I'm making a big deal out of nothing and should just "man up" and when I go to the doctors they are just going to assume I'm lying.
Examples of my anxiety are that I have ignored a skin condition on the bottom of my feet to the point of its amost too painful to walk becuase I am scared the doctor give me grief for not going to them sooner(initially I didn't go becuase I thought they would be mad for wasting their time on some dry skin) I also have a grandfather who I rarely see or speak to or see and I get so anxious before contact(twice a year) with him I feel it would be easier for me to lose contact with him(a horrible thought) I am well aware that these thoughts are irrational but I simply can't help it. I also find it very difficult to speak to strangers on the phone, when I answer the phone to an unknown voice I just freeze up and put the phone down on them if they don't address me by my first name in a few seconds.
So in short I don't know what to do I feel that I can't tell people about this becuase they will think I'm attention seeking, it has been great just to get it all out on here(after re-writting my post multiple times).
I have made a doctors appointment for thursday but I don't think I can follow through with it I keep going through loops of thinking I'm making a big deal out of nothing and should just "man up" and when I go to the doctors they are just going to assume I'm lying.
Examples of my anxiety are that I have ignored a skin condition on the bottom of my feet to the point of its amost too painful to walk becuase I am scared the doctor give me grief for not going to them sooner(initially I didn't go becuase I thought they would be mad for wasting their time on some dry skin) I also have a grandfather who I rarely see or speak to or see and I get so anxious before contact(twice a year) with him I feel it would be easier for me to lose contact with him(a horrible thought) I am well aware that these thoughts are irrational but I simply can't help it. I also find it very difficult to speak to strangers on the phone, when I answer the phone to an unknown voice I just freeze up and put the phone down on them if they don't address me by my first name in a few seconds.
So in short I don't know what to do I feel that I can't tell people about this becuase they will think I'm attention seeking, it has been great just to get it all out on here(after re-writting my post multiple times).