Never been so scared

[Ferry1995]

I don't know what else to do, I can't explain what this is, I feel so upset, I genuinely feel like i'm slowly turning into somone else, like i'm losing touch with reality, i'm scared i'll stop caring about family and friends, i'm scared i'll forget everything, everything in the world seems totally different, the world seems so dark, i'm going through some serious derealization here and I have no idea what's causing it, I went to my psychiatrist today and he said they can't prescribe any meds for me, I don't have anyone there for me and i'm just so scred i'm going to end up wanting to die, I had some serious suicidal thoughts earlier but they've somewhat lessened now, I'm getting worse every day, No one seems to be able to do anything, This all started off as Health anxiety but has turned into just feelings of doom, I feel like I won't be me by the end of the week, I feel like it's the end.

[fred_h]

You're obviously going through a serious depression, how is it your psy "can't prescribe any meds" for you ??

[Ferry1995]

Because I'm under 18 and that he said he doesn't think meds work as much as cbt, but i'm really not in the right frame of mind for cbt :(

[fred_h]

Of course you're not, your brain would need some relief first.
I'm not familiar with the UK health system, can't you have an appointment with another specialist ?

[Ferry1995]

I don't know, my parents aren't in the country at the moment so I don't have a lot of support, the doc said it could be because I came off my meds and it might take a few weeks to get better, but If it gets worse at this rate i'm scared something really bad is going to happen to me mentally, what If I hurt myself?

[fred_h]

Ok, I get it and saw your other posts. You're probably going through some AD withdrawal indeed.
Compared to how you feel now, were the side effects really that bad ? Did the psy suggest you get back on your meds ?

[Ferry1995]

I'd much rather go through what I was experiencing on my meds than this... unfortunately the gp who prescribed my meds is on holiday right now, will this pass? or will I gradually go mad, what do you think is the best course of action, go into hopsital? sorry for all this but i'm really stressed right now

[fred_h]

Of course the withdrawal symptoms will pass, don't worry. But if you feel you're getting real bad and think of hurting yourself then get to the hospital and ask for help.

[Ferry1995]

So all this depersonalisation stuff... I will feel normal again, i'm finding it very difficult to make it through today, although I don't know what my alternatives are...

[fred_h]

You will feel normal again ))
See it as a reminder not to interrupt your treatment next time. The first few weeks can be unpleasant but it's usually for the better. Once you're there CBT is the way to go, and then you're done ;)

[Ferry1995]

Had a pretty eventful night last night.

Started feeling really bad about 3-4ish so I thought I might go to bed and sleep it off, but I stayed awake and gradually felt worse and worse, about 8 oclock I got some serious physical symptoms, and not being able to handle it anymore, dialed for an ambulance, I'd felt really different this time, nothing like any panic attack I've before, anyway, the ambulance got here and talked me through my symptoms, and everything ( blood pressure, oxygen, heart rate ) seemed pretty normal, I was displaying no symptoms of a panic attack, so when I get into hospital they take a few more tests, take my blood and I don't hear anything for a couple of hours, but about 11 a psychiatric crisis team came and talked me through what I was going through, and although I felt apsoloutely awful, they convinced me it was all in my head and talked me through what I was going through, after a couple of hours I got the bloods back and realised there was nothing whatsoever wrong with me which came as a bit of a shock, but made me feel a lot better, they're going to dispatch a proper psychiatrist to the house this afternoon to further talk about some feelings and possibly prescribe some meds, so that makes me feel a lot more optomistic.

[abby38]

So glad to read you are getting some help and hope you start to feel better soon. Take care :hugs:

[fred_h]

Glad you're ok and about to meet a psychiatrist soon. I agree it's shocking to be told there's nothing wrong despite the sensations, but so it is, really.
Take care