akadawny
18-09-12, 19:32
Hi Im new my name is Dawn
Where to start, crikey its all a mess. It started when I tried to go back to work after a year 9 period at home caring for my Son who has aspergers syndrome, and his twin sister, essentially a "housewife" I suppose. I only started looking for a job as the benefits I recieve will stop when my children finish their education at 19, and I have very much enjoyed being able to care for my son instead of leaving it to strangers.
Anyway the first week of training I started to get tummy wobbles and worry about it (Ive always worried excessively so thought it was just me being me) but the second week of training I had a massive panic attack, palpatations, shaking, crying, couldnt breathe the works! I thought I was having a heart attack and dying, and they had to call my Husband to come get me as I was in such a state and couldnt drive home. I couldnt stop the shaking or drying and couldnt explain what was wrong, so went to my gp next day who said it was depression and put me on antideppressants and short term diazapam. He signed me off for 2 weeks, but the more I thought about returning the worse I got, to the point I had to resign as I felt such blind terror and had experienced several more panick attacks. Anyway it took me 3 months to feel close to normal again, but it has all just happened again! Started work in an office, within a week the dread was in my tummy, and it built up and up until I had another attack and have had to leave again. The gp has now diagnosed gad as well as depression, but this time I feel even worse. I am currently on 40mg proanol which I take as 4 10mg pills throughout the day, and am on 45mg cirtrizine which I take at night. The mornings and the evenings are worse, my hands shake and I feel trembly (think I need a higher dose of proponol) and I am constantly worrying about anything and everything. Im physically exhausted as I just cant seem to sleep, and mentally tired from all the worry and I cant handle any stress without feeling shaky inside and feeling like I cant breathe. It has been suggested I may have ptsd from childhood abuse from when I was 10/11, and I have struggled with depression, eating disorder and self harming in the past due to that, but I had been ok regards to that for a while. Im at the end of my tether, I have to see a councillor this friday, and also my gp again, and Im getting very anxious about both. I just dont understand why this is happening to me, and why now :( I feel very lost and very alone
Thanks in advance for any advice
Dawn
Where to start, crikey its all a mess. It started when I tried to go back to work after a year 9 period at home caring for my Son who has aspergers syndrome, and his twin sister, essentially a "housewife" I suppose. I only started looking for a job as the benefits I recieve will stop when my children finish their education at 19, and I have very much enjoyed being able to care for my son instead of leaving it to strangers.
Anyway the first week of training I started to get tummy wobbles and worry about it (Ive always worried excessively so thought it was just me being me) but the second week of training I had a massive panic attack, palpatations, shaking, crying, couldnt breathe the works! I thought I was having a heart attack and dying, and they had to call my Husband to come get me as I was in such a state and couldnt drive home. I couldnt stop the shaking or drying and couldnt explain what was wrong, so went to my gp next day who said it was depression and put me on antideppressants and short term diazapam. He signed me off for 2 weeks, but the more I thought about returning the worse I got, to the point I had to resign as I felt such blind terror and had experienced several more panick attacks. Anyway it took me 3 months to feel close to normal again, but it has all just happened again! Started work in an office, within a week the dread was in my tummy, and it built up and up until I had another attack and have had to leave again. The gp has now diagnosed gad as well as depression, but this time I feel even worse. I am currently on 40mg proanol which I take as 4 10mg pills throughout the day, and am on 45mg cirtrizine which I take at night. The mornings and the evenings are worse, my hands shake and I feel trembly (think I need a higher dose of proponol) and I am constantly worrying about anything and everything. Im physically exhausted as I just cant seem to sleep, and mentally tired from all the worry and I cant handle any stress without feeling shaky inside and feeling like I cant breathe. It has been suggested I may have ptsd from childhood abuse from when I was 10/11, and I have struggled with depression, eating disorder and self harming in the past due to that, but I had been ok regards to that for a while. Im at the end of my tether, I have to see a councillor this friday, and also my gp again, and Im getting very anxious about both. I just dont understand why this is happening to me, and why now :( I feel very lost and very alone
Thanks in advance for any advice
Dawn