hollymuso
19-09-12, 01:17
Hi everyone! This.may sound ridiculous but I'm.lying in.bed unable to.sleep...again.. focusing on.every twitch, every ache ,anything that could possibly be a problem! And this isn't the first time either. For a while now ..specially leading up to.quitting smoking and since.( month). I believed I had lung cancer so Much I went doc and felt silly. I'm.25 and thought is be the unlucky young person! I have had a shoulder pain for about 4 months you see... a symptom sometimes of something wrong with lung or chest etc...doc said it was a muscle and to wait for.it to heal ....it hasn't. But as Ithink if it was something serious it wouldn't be getting less...it would worsen?? And I'd feel a lot miller right? Lol.
See writing this is upsetting as I am an ex anxiety sufferer. Took over my life in 2010. I've since had great times and specially this last year with my new relationship and becoming a vocal coach etc...I have felt truly happy least few days and its made me worse! For some mad reason I am fearing death so much ... I think.now things are gonna get good for me ( finally) then something bad is bound to.happen. I Google every pain... I think any joint pain is related to cancer and now...I've found out my auntie has breast cancer!! Subconsciously that must be affecting me! But I'm.writing to.anyone out there to maybe offer some advice or tell me I'm not alone?! My family no longer listen to my worries ...they think .I make a fuss and worry tooooo much!! Which is true but now I feel more alone! Is any of this normal ? I also have pcos and am late as usual and struggling with hormones( causing more anxious feelings) which may be contributing?? And the quitting smoking may have been contributing to.health things I'm sure. What I can't get is why when im so happy am I worrying ...part of me freaks myself out thinking I'm foreseeing the future or something which brings on all.kinds of crap :-( please can anyone help me. I'm gonna ruin tthe first time in my life I've really been normal.and happy and on the road to good things :-(((
See writing this is upsetting as I am an ex anxiety sufferer. Took over my life in 2010. I've since had great times and specially this last year with my new relationship and becoming a vocal coach etc...I have felt truly happy least few days and its made me worse! For some mad reason I am fearing death so much ... I think.now things are gonna get good for me ( finally) then something bad is bound to.happen. I Google every pain... I think any joint pain is related to cancer and now...I've found out my auntie has breast cancer!! Subconsciously that must be affecting me! But I'm.writing to.anyone out there to maybe offer some advice or tell me I'm not alone?! My family no longer listen to my worries ...they think .I make a fuss and worry tooooo much!! Which is true but now I feel more alone! Is any of this normal ? I also have pcos and am late as usual and struggling with hormones( causing more anxious feelings) which may be contributing?? And the quitting smoking may have been contributing to.health things I'm sure. What I can't get is why when im so happy am I worrying ...part of me freaks myself out thinking I'm foreseeing the future or something which brings on all.kinds of crap :-( please can anyone help me. I'm gonna ruin tthe first time in my life I've really been normal.and happy and on the road to good things :-(((