sarahmurphymoo
19-09-12, 11:20
Hi All,
I'm new to the site, and have specifically joined to try and help me get through my current anxiety issue.
2 months ago, my daughter had a fall (which i blame myself for as i wasn't paying full attention to her)
she went to hospital with concussion, they debated over whether she needed a CT scan or not, in the end they did one, and everything came back fine - she is now fine.
However, since the scan, i have been reading up on CT scans and the potential cancer risks in children.
There is one specific study which was published in the Lancet (medical journal) which studied about 180,000 children over the past 20 years, and found about 70 cases of leukemia and 135 cases of brain tumour. They specifically made efforts to exclude any cancer daignosis scans which would make the daignosis bias.
The study went on to suggest that for every 10,000 head scans on children under the age of 10, there will be 1 additional case of leukemia and 1 additional brain tumour because of the scan. (ie 2 in 10,000 = 1 in 5000 of something)
So, i know these numbers are small and the risk is low, and the need for the scan was greater than the risk of not doing it all. But i've got two issues.
1. I blame myself for my daughters fall, we were in the loft, i wan't paying attention to her and she fell through the loft hatch. Even though i have warned her about the dangers of being up there several time, i see it as my duty to have taken care of her, in reality, she shouldn't have been there at all
2. I'm convincing myself that she will get a brain tumour / leukemia because of the scan. To make it worse, it takes about 2 years for leukemia to show, and about 5 years before a brain tumour will show - and potentially could occur for many years after - therefore i can't seek any closure on this, or "face my fear"
It might be 2 / 5 years before any signs start to show, and will probably be about 15 years of nothing happening before i start to feel that the scan has had no ill effects.
I'm trying to be rational about these odds of her developing leukemia / tumour - a 1 in 5000 chance is 0.0002%
even if you take the fact that out of 180,000 patients there were about 180 instances - that's 1 in 1000, which is 0.001%
I struggle to understand how 180 out of 180,000 people had something wrong with them, that they then make it a 2 in 10,000 estimate and not 1 in 1,000
sorry, i know this is rambling a bit but i want to achieve the following.
1. I want to accept what has happened and understand that i cannot change it.
2. I want to accept that the risk is low, the scan was needed and that i should focus on the chance of her being fine
3. I want to enjoy my time with her, so that even if the worst does happen, i can look back and be happy that i had the best time possible with her.
I'm currently seeing a hypnotherapist who deals with anxiety and CBT, i've had one session so far.
I normally a very logical person, and i understand the logic behind why i really shouldn't be worrying about this, the problem is i am really struggling to take my own advice.
Can anyone help / share any similar experiences?
Thanks
I'm new to the site, and have specifically joined to try and help me get through my current anxiety issue.
2 months ago, my daughter had a fall (which i blame myself for as i wasn't paying full attention to her)
she went to hospital with concussion, they debated over whether she needed a CT scan or not, in the end they did one, and everything came back fine - she is now fine.
However, since the scan, i have been reading up on CT scans and the potential cancer risks in children.
There is one specific study which was published in the Lancet (medical journal) which studied about 180,000 children over the past 20 years, and found about 70 cases of leukemia and 135 cases of brain tumour. They specifically made efforts to exclude any cancer daignosis scans which would make the daignosis bias.
The study went on to suggest that for every 10,000 head scans on children under the age of 10, there will be 1 additional case of leukemia and 1 additional brain tumour because of the scan. (ie 2 in 10,000 = 1 in 5000 of something)
So, i know these numbers are small and the risk is low, and the need for the scan was greater than the risk of not doing it all. But i've got two issues.
1. I blame myself for my daughters fall, we were in the loft, i wan't paying attention to her and she fell through the loft hatch. Even though i have warned her about the dangers of being up there several time, i see it as my duty to have taken care of her, in reality, she shouldn't have been there at all
2. I'm convincing myself that she will get a brain tumour / leukemia because of the scan. To make it worse, it takes about 2 years for leukemia to show, and about 5 years before a brain tumour will show - and potentially could occur for many years after - therefore i can't seek any closure on this, or "face my fear"
It might be 2 / 5 years before any signs start to show, and will probably be about 15 years of nothing happening before i start to feel that the scan has had no ill effects.
I'm trying to be rational about these odds of her developing leukemia / tumour - a 1 in 5000 chance is 0.0002%
even if you take the fact that out of 180,000 patients there were about 180 instances - that's 1 in 1000, which is 0.001%
I struggle to understand how 180 out of 180,000 people had something wrong with them, that they then make it a 2 in 10,000 estimate and not 1 in 1,000
sorry, i know this is rambling a bit but i want to achieve the following.
1. I want to accept what has happened and understand that i cannot change it.
2. I want to accept that the risk is low, the scan was needed and that i should focus on the chance of her being fine
3. I want to enjoy my time with her, so that even if the worst does happen, i can look back and be happy that i had the best time possible with her.
I'm currently seeing a hypnotherapist who deals with anxiety and CBT, i've had one session so far.
I normally a very logical person, and i understand the logic behind why i really shouldn't be worrying about this, the problem is i am really struggling to take my own advice.
Can anyone help / share any similar experiences?
Thanks