Hello pls anyone got advice on cit

[Jyky]

Hello , I'm here right now very scared and worried. I've suffered from depression for a while but it came to a point nearly3 years ago when it got too much, I slowly got to a normal state but always with the random bout of anxiety and panic. Things have got to a point where my relationships fail cos of my moods.
especially at winter times.
My parents have told me thro the years they have noticed differences to my personality.
Recently another failed relationship pushed me further into depression.
I've been in a bad state of depression and been put on 20mg cit,day 3 and I feel my anxiety is so bad, I've woke up with bad panicky feelings and anxiety. I don't want to be alone but I suppose I got to learn. I'm so lonely without my partner and I wish her back and feel like I'll never recover again.
But my main worry is these tablets, I've read so many posts/diaries on NMP and some of them have been so scary. Ppl who have been on them for so long with no benefits, are there ppl here who have used the, and they have worked??
I declined these ssris three years ago, but this time I chose to use them because I want to be rid of this, but it seems like you become a prisoner to it. I'm so scared of what I'll become. I have a son and I have to look after him on days and I need to function. Pls anyone help with advice, I'm really stuck in some horrible place and it hurts so much in my chest knowing I can't even stop them if I wanted to. Sorry if I'm making no sense I'm tryin to be writing while my head is all over the place.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Jyky

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[akadawny]

Hi jyky

I have struggled with depression throughout my lifetime amongst other things and now have anxiety and gad. It sounds like you are in a very scary place right now, and I can relate. I also hate being alone, my husband works nights and I hate being alone at night, and then hes asleep in the day so Im alone again. Ironically though I am struggling to be out and about with people in crowds, and hate going anywhere I dont feel safe. It sounds silly but I have found leaving the tv on low helps me to drop off to sleep a little, and I always leave the landing light on.

I wish I would tell you there is a cure, but there isnt. I live day to dy and do the best I can. I wake feeling panicky and have to work hard all day not to have a panic attack, I am finding the proponol helps with the trembling and physical symtoms but not so much with the inside shaky feelings :(

I joined here to not be alone, and to have likeminded people to talk to. I hope someone here can help you more that I have been able to, but I can always listen should you need it.

Stay safe

Dawn x

---------- Post added at 18:16 ---------- Previous post was at 18:15 ----------

As a added note, have you looked into the possibility you may have s.a.d (seasonal afflictive disorder) It can make people feel very low during the winter.

[swgrl09]

Hi, and welcome! I struggled with the decision of going on medication for a while ... I have been doing therapy for a couple years and feel like I had hit a brick wall and could not make any more progress. I have both depression/anxiety and really just had no motivation and fell into depression. I gave up hope pretty much. My therapist suggested trying an antidepressant and I finally gave in after a lot of thought.

I am not on citalopram, but I am on escitalopram and am coming up on a month in I believe. I can honestly tell you finally going on them was one of the best decisions I have made for myself. I had a lot of increased anxiety in the first week, but give it time and this will pass. It lasts longer for some than for others.

But keep in mind that it is NOT all bad. For every frightening post you read, there are tons more people out there who have had good experiences. My sister was on an SSRI and had a great experience. So far, with the exception of a few bumps in the road, I am having a good experience.

People don't go online and post about how well a medication works for them, they just continue with their lives and keep on living. So the majority of what you will find online are people strugging and looking for support. It is not a bad thing, but just take it with a grain of salt that just because a lot of internet posts are negative does not mean everybody goes through the same thing.

You have come to the right place though for support! :hugs:

[Sparkle1984]

Welcome to the forums! :) I'm on the same medication as you (but at a lower dose) and I've found it's worked well so far. I had bad side effects for the first 4 or 5 days, but after that I gradually started to feel better. From week 3 onwards, I felt a lot better. As you are only on day 3, there is still plenty of hope. :hugs: