Is it panic or am I dying

[majdle]

Hey folks, I am relatively new here and I wonder if you have been going through this also. I have always been anxious and especially health anxious, even as a kid, but now something new got added to this. I started having really bad attacks. It feels like if I had drunk a lot of coffee, but I just quite drinking coffee a year ago, because coffee used to trigger this. So now even without coffee, I feel so scared, so shaky, so sick and so dizzy, that I have to lie down or grab the table. It generally takes about 15 - 20 minutes and then it is over. And it doesn't have any trigger at all. Once it happened as I was leaisurly munching on my dinner with a friend, then again in a classroom, then again while hiking with friends or in a supermarket. The only place where it doesn't happen is at home...And it has been getting worse and worse..Now it is enough that a dog barks behind me or just about any sudden sound or minor conflict and here I go, off it runs. So I went to the doctor and they observed me for one full day for blood pressure. And it goes like: normal-normal- then it suddenly goes high up, stays there some 20 minutes and then normal again. The doc sent me to an edocrinologist, all test got back ok, but they have only done bloodworks. This is when the word panic attack came into discussion. But still, there is this kind of rare tumor, which causes symptoms similar to panic attack 8due to adrenalin levels) and the test for this weren't done...so I am worrying myself sick. What if it is really that and the doc just didn't feel the need to do the test? What if it is so rare that the doc didn't think about it? I mean, I don't have a reason to panic, so why does it happen? And it is just so physical.I mean, can this be just in my head? Or should I insist on getting this one specific test done in addition? Am I crazy? Please, help, I am happy for any kind word, as I hadn't told anyone about it and being alone with this shit just drives me nuts.Thank you.

[Chrissy88]

I think it's always better to be safe than sorry, but to me it really does sound like your classic panic attack. Stress and panic raise your blood pressure levels. You're definitely not crazy, and it's amazing how the mind can affect you physically. When I first started getting panic attacks I would get them constantly all day every day and I ended up losing 20kgs from it, I felt so sick I couldn't eat anything or hardly drink anything and my stomach got really messed up from the pure stress my mind was inflicting on me. It wasn't until I was put on meds that things started to get better. I would still ask to get the tests done to put your mind at ease, but like I said it sounds like a panic disorder. If you had a tumour you would also most likely suffer these symptoms at home as well, but since most people associate home with being safe, it might not trigger for you there because of that.

[majdle]

Chrissy, thanks a lot for putting my mind at ease a bit. I mean, ok, I do live far away from home with an only friend I have here, my family is some 2000km away and so are my friends and my bf is some 600 km away, so that probably doesn't help. And yes, the climate at work is really bad, I have been very unproductive and this is stressing me out as I just cannot fail. But that is not enough to produce something as bad as this shit...or is it?

[Chrissy88]

No worries. With all these different factors happening in your life, especially being away from your loved ones, it's not suprising that your so stressed out. This can of course lead to the panic attacks. I'm incredibly health anxious as well and all it took for my panic disorder to trigger off was the thought that I had appendicitis and i'd need to go to hospital. Just that thought sent me into weeks of pure hell which I would never wish on anyone. Everyone is different, but that's all it took for me. It would be very understandable that your situation could've triggered things for you too.

[majdle]

Chrissy, you really sound like me. And just imagine what happens when I actually do go to the Doc's. I panic. I panic even at the dentist's when they are merely doing a regular nonpainful check up. But I panic because..what if I choke on that gauze? Or what if I have an underlying heart problem that will be triggered by the dental works? I even panic when they measure my blood pressure, because..what if there is something wrong? No wonder that I have 150/90 in the doc's office...

[karenp]

Bless you, it does def sound like panic to me too so you won't die!!! I don't actually get health anxiety anymore as I've suffered with anxiety attacks for ten years so know I am fine and it really is panic nothing serious even though attacks still trully terrify me and I hate being like this but I'm STILL HERE live and kicking! (:

[Chrissy88]

Yeah I know what you mean, I can't get out of a doctor's or dentist's office quick enough. It reminds me of a hospital and that scares the hell out of me. The reality is though, if you were to choke on a gauze, the dentist would be able to take it out. One thing my dentist warned me about before I had a filling once was that the stuff in the injection that makes your mouth numb contains some kind of adrenaline that makes your heart race momentarily. He assured me that I WASN'T having a heart attack, and thankfully he was right. With your blood pressure, people in our situation could have it rise due to the stress of your surroundings, but even if it does turn out to be something more serious the doctors will give you medication for it and with careful monitoring along with proper exercise and diet you'll be okay. It's just the insane, cruel games our minds play with us that makes us expect the worst possible scenario in every situation. It's so tough, I know, now that we've joined this forum we have so much support from people in the same situation. You will survive.