Just out of hospital, not coping

[StressedAndDepressed]

I ended up incarcerated for just a couple of weeks for SH and suicidal feelings. All they really did was keep me safe and change my meds. Am now on quetiapine 25mg 2x a day and duloxetine (2 weeks into both).

I think that in hospital I just worked out how to blank out all emotional stuff and the constant questions (which don't have answers but were driving me crazy as I kept trying to work them out!). At home, there are too many triggers. Particular times of the day, activities I used to do, people not calling (and, strangely, I get freaked out when they do). If I can keep my mind blank and factual I'm ok but can't do this the whole time. Too many things are around to set it all off.

I've tried going out, but people and normal things in general are causing me to either want to cry, panic or even both. Am not joking, I just panicked looking for mustard in my local & very quiet shop. Then I nearly ended up in tears while panicking.

I'm not suicidal but the SH has started up again. Home care seem to be completely unconcerned by this. As long as I'm not suicidal they're not offering any help. I saw them yesterday and left in tears. This is after they reminded me of their helpline number. I'm assuming unless I feel worse I shouldn't call. I did call them a day or so after getting out of hospital but felt that the person answering thought I shouldn't have done.

I'm really very scared as well, this is a place I've not been to before (SH particularly) and don't want to wind up in hospital again. Hospital and I really don't get on.

It seems that although I'm not coping too well, I'm not ill enough for anyone to help. I'm not doing anything dangerous but really worried about where it'll all go.

Of course, I'll get help if things do deteriorate, please don't worry about me. Has anyone experienced anything similar? Any advice?

:shrug::scared15:

[racdun]

Hi there
do you have any help groups in your area. Surely there must be more support for you at this early stage of recovery. Have you been in touch with your doctors for a check up. Recovery takes time but it will happen. Make sure to eat as best you can and a relaxation cd is always very helpful. Also check your breathing to make sure you are breathing from your stomach instead of chest, chest breating can make you feel anxious. Stay hydrated, drink water every hour. Small steps will eventually lead to big improvements. Hope you improve.

[paranoidtree]

I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I agree with racdun it could be worth checking in with your GP and asking how you can be managed to aid your recovery.

If you are worried about calling the number they gave you but want to speak to someone then i would suggest the Samartians (08457 90 90 90) as they really are there for anyone to call and chat to - it might help ease your mind a bit?

Also, there is all of us on here to support you too (well the best we can) but try to take care of yourself, even in little ways like drinking water, listening to music, watching a funny movie.

:bighug1:

[StressedAndDepressed]

Thanks for the replies.

The mental health support people called to check on me. They really don't seem to be at all worried unless I'm suicidal. That means hospital I suspect - I really don't want to go back there, that idea scares me as much as the SH does. That said, I don't always interpret what people say too well but I think I did tell them that I wasn't coping.

I got really stressed and rang NHS Direct. The nurse there was really good, I think just talking to her calmed me down a bit. She made me promise to see the GP today, which I'm doing later on this afternoon. Its not a GP that knows me but maybe he'll be able to help somehow, even if its just something to take the edge off over the weekend.

[shotokansho]

Hello there. I'm so sorry to hear your not feeling to good. I have been in hospital six times since 2009. I am a self harmer and have been suicidal many times. You are right, you do tend to have to be very suicidal or have actually done something for them to admit you to hospital. Hospital doesn't scare me anymore, I know it's a place of safety for me and it does help me sort out my thoughts and feelings and get me away from the norm for a while.
You can always call the crisis team, or the samaritans if you are really desperate. I am also on Quetiapine 300mg a day and they have helped me a great deal. I really hope they help you too. I hope you feel better soon, sending hugs :hugs:

Kez xx

[racdun]

Please let us know how you get on with the doc. Hope you get some proper help. :hugs:

[StressedAndDepressed]

Saw the GP, who seemed to get where I was. He said he was going to call the mental health team as I'm not coping. He promised to let me know what is going on this morning.

Of course, am convinced he'll forget or they won't do anything and dreading the phone ringing, at the same time. No distractions are working, in fact nothing is. Stll, have spoken to the person I live with so will have some support if I really do end up heading towards a mess.

[StressedAndDepressed]

Someone tried to call the MH team for me, no answer. They then decided we needed to go and see them and drove me there. So we arrived with no appt etc.

A very nice guy saw me. Said the plan was that I'd be seen next week. Fortunately, my driver (or personal heath worker?) said that that was too long and that I needed help now. The result was some tablets that do calm me down. They can be short term only but am feeling relatively normal.

My driver/personal health worker wants to be more involved in future. I think he's right. If it wasn't for him I'd have said "ok" and left, even though things weren't anything like ok. :) :)

[paranoidtree]

I'm really pleased there is someone looking out for you and that you can starting to get the help you deserve!

:hugs:

Please let me know how you get on and if you ever need to chat just PM me

[racdun]

And always remember that you deserve to get help. Stand your ground and fight for it if you have to. A week is too long in some cases so its good that you had someone to help back you up. Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you get on.