Hi everyone x

[Laura123]

Hi everyone, well it would seem I have tried everything to overcome my gad apart from forums, so I am hoping that I will be able to find support here that I don't seem to find at home. Shall spend some time reading and getting to know you all :) xx

[Mr Brownstone]

Hi Laura...I find that just knowing that others suffer as much as myself (if not more) makes me feel less anxious. Hopefully you'll feel the same as well :)

[kittikat]

Hi Laura & :welcome:

I'm sure you will find the support you need here. I hope you get as much from being here as I have.

Kitti :)

[akadawny]

Hi Laura :)

I too have gad, and Im just starting out with recovery. I am on proponol and antidepressants and am due to see a therepist this friday, which Im slowly but surely getting myself into a right state about! I have always been a worryer, and suffered several bouts of depression throughout my lifetime. I suffered an eating disorder and self harming in my late teens and again in my early 30s due to childhood abuse, but the gad and anxiey started when I tried to go back to work. Im struggling and am hoping as you are that having people to talk to in here helps, and I may also be able to help others, even if all I can do is listen :)

Feel free to message or email me anytime :)

Stay safe

Dawn x

[Laura123]

I am taking propranolol 20mg 3 times daily to try and help me get out more, for the past year or so I have really struggled being out and about, I just panic everywhere, shops, town, school run with the kids, just everything. I had cbt in January which helped for a few weeks but now I am worse than ever! I seem to struggle all day every day and I worry so much about the future, I worry that one day my kids will suddenly realise that their mum is a nervous wreck. My worst worry at the moment is that I have had constant dizziness since June, am waiting for ent appointment to come through but you know what it's like when you are the way we are, I think it's something catastrophically wrong. Anyway, just thought I would share a bit of me. Xx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Laura123

We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.

Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.

[akadawny]

Your not alone there, I worry constantly about so many things, and have thoughts constantly running through my head. I find it near impossible to be able to switch off and relax, in fact I cant remember the last time I was able to relax. I also worry what loved ones will think of me, which in turn causes feelings of guilt, shame, embarressment. I will sit and worry about what will we do if the car breaks down, what will happen if my husband loses his job, etc etc, and if he or the kids are late I will sit and go crazy with worry convinced the worse has happened. I am also experiencing alot of what I call mini panick attacks, where it feels like I cant get enough air into my lungs, and have to breathe very deep and fast, which makes me go dizzy. This most often happens in the morning or evenings, which are both my worse times.

I havent a clue whats caused it, I just know the anxiety and panick started when I tried to go back to work after being a stay at home mum for over 9 years, but have always really been a worryer as long as I can remember. I hate it and just want to be me again, and wonder if theres something wrong with my brain.

[Laura123]

We could be twins lol. I can remember anxiety when I was really young, like 5 or 6 and it's just grown with me, it really peaked after I had my kids, I think there is defo some kind of link with becoming a mum and anxiety, also wonder if perhaps pre menopause, I am 36 and I think decline in hormones as we age can make things worse. My son is 9 and st the weekend he had a mini panic attack which upset me tremendously, I can't bare to think he will suffer with this. Xx

---------- Post added at 17:36 ---------- Previous post was at 17:32 ----------

Hey, don't stress about therapist, they are, in my experience, really great people to just spout it all out to. I felt great when I was having cbt, but don't think 4 sessions was enough, all the Nhs could manage though sadly. I bet you feel lots better for it xx

[akadawny]

Lol, maybe an older Sister as I am 37!

I really hope you Son will be ok.I have 17 year old twins, my son is autistic and my daughter has just been through 2 major ops and faces a third, but neither have displayed any of my symptoms thank god! My daughter does get really worried before exams, and can make herself pyhsically sick, but Im hoping that wont become anything more serious. I do think my family is predisposed to depression, as I dont know a single member who hasnt had it in one form or another, my Dad has had it very bad several times and survived 2 suicide attempts, and my Sister has had 2 nervous breakdowns and is on a really high dose antidepressant. Doesnt mean Im gonna lie down and take it mind you, I will have good days and bad days but if it can be beaten I will do it!

Will try not to worry about the therepist, but it kind keeps creeping back into my stupid brain lol!

[Laura123]

That's a real shame about your kids, I know I am desperate to keep my anxiety hidden from them because I honestly believe a lot Of it is learned behaviour, my mum is just like me! Try and look forward to your therapy, it's a safe place where it doesn't matter if you panic, in fact it's better if it does happen there, cbt helped me lots, but a few months after it I started an inner ear thing that caused me vertigo which has been for nearly 4 months now and the dizziness just sets me off In blind panic, very annoying. Hey don't know about you but I feel brighter already just taking honestly for once :) x

[joanna 44]

Hi there I'm new too .........I hope we will find similar people on here to chat with :)

[akadawny]

Hi Joanna :)

Yes Laura, I feel like a weight has lifted being able to talk honestly, with no feeling of guilt or shame, its very liberating :)

I have tried to keep as much as I can from my kids, as I dont want them to feel responsible for me in any way as they are 17 now and more or less all grown up. I do have to tell them not to argue though, as I cant handle any stress right now without experiencing a mini meltdown!!

Im having a hard time with my Mum as she thinks I am doing it for attention, like in munchausen syndrome, subconsiously of course! I feel very hurt by that, as its belittling what I am going through, but shes from another generation. Her advice about recovering from my childhood abuse was to "mentally" bury it in the garden! Needless to say I didnt listen to that!! Thankfully after a shaky start with my husband he is now being really good, but it still really helps to talk to people who know exactly how I feel :)

Whereabouts in the UK are you? I am near Leicester x

[Laura123]

god, bury it in the garden, if i thought that would work i would go out and buy a shovel right now lol. I am from scotland Dawn. My hubby, bless him, he is great but he just has no clue at all about what i am going through, he is a "pull yourself together type man". I must admit Dawn, i feel a bit better today than i did yesterday, i am hoping its the new dosage of propranolol, i got in such a pinic about it last night that i phoned doctors on call, i felt i couldnt breathe properly, the nurse i spoke to was like a nurse from hell, she was so horrible and not undersatanding at all, but thats what all you lovely folk are for lol, i have decided you are all going to make me feel better every day even if just a little (hopefully a lot), this is what i need, i need people who understand that sometimes its just far too challenging and scary to go to the shop to buy butter! xx

[akadawny]

Lol, that made me smile, although it was bread I was too scared to go and fetch this week lol!! I can manage to go most places as long as Im not alone, alone I tend to start shking and generally turn into a babbling idiot so I havent tried it for a while! My Husband is exactly the same as yours, but he is trying bless him. My mum I am just keeping my distance from at the minute, as I have decided anyone not good for me needs to be kept at a distance, although she has noticed what I am doing so I forsee fireworks there at some point as I am just going to tell her straight if she starts that I love her but she isnt helping!

I like it here too, and it feels so nice to be able to talk, listen, ask questions without the stigma. Although I am getting really tired so Im off for an early night, I have sent you a private message :) I am online most days as I am unable to work so if you need a chat chances are I will be here, if not I get emails to my phone :)

Sleep tight

Dawn x