paranoidtree
21-09-12, 11:32
This week, although not easy, had been going quite well. i even managed to go on the motorway by myself yesterday but today i'm feeling horrible.
I had a dentist check up this morning at 8.45am (it was made ages ago) and i only remembered late yesterday so if i cancelled i would be charged. so last night i was already feeling anxious about it because it was early (well for me anyway).
I took 1mg diazepam and could barely eat any breakfast, then i had to deal with a spider on a mirror in the bedroom (i couldn't leave it and i HATE them) so i dispatched him via hairspray and a shoe. Then i was running late , get to the car there is another spider on my door handle.
Arrive at dentist, get called in. By now my heart is racing and i feel shaky - i sit there trying to just remind myself it's just adrenaline and i am safe and i start to feel ok until the dentist says i need an x-ray. I hate x-rays, my mouth is small and i always feel like i'm going to gag and then be sick which i'm so afraid of. I start really panicking, and just want to leave so i tell her (the dentist) and she lets me sit up and just talked to me for a few moments until the panic passed enough. did x-ray and then i need to go back for a filling (otherwise my teeth are fine)
I managed to get home and have not done much since as still feel all jangled. actually i did take some cakes to my husband at work but he is only 5 mins drive away. This afternoon i was planning on going to a craft shop with my mum to buy some more cross stitch kits as find them calming and i have arranged to do this but am now sitting here worrying about it. The shop i had planned to go to is 30-45 mins drive, there are some others closer-ish but not sure they sell what i want.
I'm all in a tizz and just want to cry. Maybe i've done too much this week but i've just been trying to live life rather than be careful with myself due to the anxiety. I started the CBT4PANIC programme and thought i understood it all but now am not so sure.
Sorry for such a long one, just wanted to get it out of my head :weep:
I had a dentist check up this morning at 8.45am (it was made ages ago) and i only remembered late yesterday so if i cancelled i would be charged. so last night i was already feeling anxious about it because it was early (well for me anyway).
I took 1mg diazepam and could barely eat any breakfast, then i had to deal with a spider on a mirror in the bedroom (i couldn't leave it and i HATE them) so i dispatched him via hairspray and a shoe. Then i was running late , get to the car there is another spider on my door handle.
Arrive at dentist, get called in. By now my heart is racing and i feel shaky - i sit there trying to just remind myself it's just adrenaline and i am safe and i start to feel ok until the dentist says i need an x-ray. I hate x-rays, my mouth is small and i always feel like i'm going to gag and then be sick which i'm so afraid of. I start really panicking, and just want to leave so i tell her (the dentist) and she lets me sit up and just talked to me for a few moments until the panic passed enough. did x-ray and then i need to go back for a filling (otherwise my teeth are fine)
I managed to get home and have not done much since as still feel all jangled. actually i did take some cakes to my husband at work but he is only 5 mins drive away. This afternoon i was planning on going to a craft shop with my mum to buy some more cross stitch kits as find them calming and i have arranged to do this but am now sitting here worrying about it. The shop i had planned to go to is 30-45 mins drive, there are some others closer-ish but not sure they sell what i want.
I'm all in a tizz and just want to cry. Maybe i've done too much this week but i've just been trying to live life rather than be careful with myself due to the anxiety. I started the CBT4PANIC programme and thought i understood it all but now am not so sure.
Sorry for such a long one, just wanted to get it out of my head :weep: