Anxiety in 9 year old, advice needed please

[Laura123]

My little boy is 9 and over the past 6 months I have noticed he is getting socially anxious, and needs constant reassurance, when we are at the park he won't leave my side, he just needs to be beside me all the time. He has to have friends to our house mostly and only occasionally goes to other friends houses. I have worked so hard to hide my anxiety disorder from my kids and I really think I have but I am so worried that I have put the fear of god into my kids with my constant worrying and reminding about stranger danger etc. I had a long talk with him tonight and told him that it's ok to be scared sometimes but not all the time and that we are going to work on this. Any advice? Xxx

[Edie]

I had a long talk with him tonight and told him that it's ok to be scared sometimes but not all the time and that we are going to work on this. Any advice? Xxx

Advice? You are already doing exactly the right thing. I wish my mum had this approach when I was younger.

I hope you can get your little boy the support he needs.

[Anxious_gal]

Teach him social skills! I wish someone had taught me.
Simple things like how to joke, have a conversation, how to join in with games, how to stand up stand up for yourself .

[neowallace]

Hi Laura 123

It sounds like you are doing great as a Mum. You have self awareness and also you are taking time to speak to your son. I had a lot fear put into me just because my Mum loved me that much. I suppose you have to make your kid aware of the dangers of the world but separate what are real dangers and what are irrational ones. Not easy I know I am a Dad. I have wee boy ( well he is quite tall ) and is 13 and he at times shows signs of anxiety and at times does not. He will rarely stay away from home without us which is sign of anxiety. We are working on that. All I can say is just keep giving him the love you are already doing and as I was told we cannot be perfect as parents cut yourself some slack. We try to get our son involved in sports and clubs and that has bulit up his confidence. Good luck and take care.

Steven...:)

[Laura123]

Thanks everyone :) he told me last night he has nightmares about getting lost so we talked more about it. He also has had a couple of occasions when he has burst into tears and said his heart hurts and he feels scared so I think it's palpitations, perhaps from playing ps3, I told him what affect adrenalin has on you, we agreed cutting back on gaming will probably help. It's good to be able to talk on here, I guess I am just so desperate to do the right thing with him at such a young age I think he has a great chance of learning healthy thought processes that will stick with him. Thanks again for your replies, really appreciated xxx